That Doesn't happen in Real Life
by lil hummingbird
Summary: Bella Swan is not a huge fan of romantic comedies; nothing like that ever happens in real life… right? But what happens when Bella realizes that her life's become a cliché' romantic comedy, involving her and her best friend? Will she let it play out?
1. Chapter 1

**OK, this is my first time so be gentle. I wanna thank my awesome Beta FairyTale87. Thank you for polishing me up and making me sound better! Also, thanks to my bff Kimmie for reading everything I put her way, laughing at my jokes, stroking my ego, and encouraging me let others read my stuff.**

** I only hope that you like it and laugh. I read fanfic a lot, so much that my husband refers to it as my crack. I guess now I'm dabble'n in dealing, lol. JK, drugs are bad. Please, let me know what you think and I'm always open to ideas. I have to admit, I am seriously nervous right and anxiety level is close to a code orange. **

**Oh yeah, I don't own Twilight. I on;y own the voices in my head.**

That Doesn't Happen in Real Life

Bella Swan is not a huge fan of romantic comedies; nothing like that _ever_ happens in real life… right? But what happens when Bella realizes that her life's become a cliché romantic comedy, involving her and her best friend? Will she let it play out its "happy ending" or try to fight it?

Chapter 1

_RING. RING. RING_.

_I would like to thank the academy… RING. RING. RING. Seriously, I'm trying to accept my Oscar and someone's phone is ringing. RING. RING. RING. Wait…_

_Is that my phone_? I think it is, but I'm still a little hazy from sleep. I look over at my clock, a bold 12:52 staring back at me. Who the fuck could be calling me this late?

I reach over on my nightstand and search for the irksome piece of technology through half opened eyes. Finally spotting it, I stare blurrily at the name: **Edward**. My heart involuntarily skips a beat and I roll my eyes with an annoyed sigh. I really wish it would stop doing that, but I know that is never going happen; my heart has to have a damn mind of its own. It's always been this way, even when we were kids. I don't see that changing any time soon; unless we stop being friends and I never see him again. But what good would that do? I'd just feel another kind of pain then.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up," I seethe into the phone, smirking slightly, "I was dreaming that I won an Oscar. You interrupted me during my epic acceptance speech." I gave a taunting laugh, noticing that my voice was still kind of deep and raspy from sleep.

_"__My deep…est apology,_" Edward drawled. I can just imagine his eyes dancing with amused sarcasm. That look is like his lover; he never goes anywhere without it. I guess I like it though; it always gives me a reason to fight and taunt him in return. "_Digging the Katharrrleen Turner voice_," he slurs.

Oh boy, drunk Edward. If he got arrested again, I'd seriously consider leaving him there overnight. Maybe one night behind bars would show him how alcohol was _not_ his friend.

"_MB, I am slightly intoxicated and they took my keys and I need to go home._"

_"Will you pleassssse come get me? I will lov_e _you forever and you will be my best friend._" I can just envision the pouty face he is making right now with his beautiful lips.

"It's a little early for you to be calling for a pick up," I replied dryly. "Slim pickings tonight, huh? Usually you have procured yourself a woman by now and conned her with your sickeningly chivalric phrases into taking you back to her place. I'm disappointed in you." I tsked sarcastically, "perhaps you are losing some of that Cullen charm." I chuckle.

All that man had to do was smile and he had any and all females throwing themselves at him. Add to that his deep "panty dropping voice" and well, panties drop. Usually I get the early morning phone call to come pick him up at some random girls' house, and it kind of makes me feel like I'm better than those girls. I'm not the one who is ditched in the morning; I'm the one he runs to. I'm really glad that Jasper and Emmett found Alice and Rose because before that, I was like a damn taxi running all over town scooping them up. I know… I'm a great best friend and sister. Yada yada. It's not a one-way street though; they would do anything for me too, and have picked me up early in the morning on several occasions. It's like déjà vu twenty-four/seven with us.

"_Yeah, well, Lauren is here,_" I hear Edward reply, "_and she is trying to get all up on this, and scaring off any other potentials."_ He sounds sad and a little frightened, but not enough for my full sympathy. There are times when the dazzling Cullen boy can be a bit of a narcissist.

I start laughing all the same though retuning with, "I warned you that she was a Stage 5 Clinger but you just wouldn't listen. You should've listened to me, master charmer. I have a smart idea now and then. 'Tis your own fault you're stuck with her- shouldn't be such a man whore."

"Yeah, yeah, yous right," he muttered, pulling out his metaphoric white flat, "I couldn't help… really nice boobs. Blame the boobs, Bells. Boobs are evil. A guy's morals…utterly useless in the pres… ummm… ence of the twin gods. I tried telling her. One-time ride. But noooo she doesn't get it. Alas wee lass my voice becomes a dog whistle." I can only imagine the look of tortured distain that was slithering across his face now and held in my laugh.

"You and boobs," I say with a shake of the head, "they get you into more trouble than the booze. One day, you're gonna realize that there is more to a "lass" than just her boobs and her vagina," I pause, remembering who I am talking to. "Well, maybe not the ones _you _sleep with… Okay, enough chit chat. Where are you at so I can pick you up and go back to bed?" I run a hand through my disgustingly oily hair.

"I'm at Mike's."

I groan. Great. Fucking Mike. Talk about Stage 5 Clinger. He has had a crush on me since we were kids, and no matter how many times I turn him down, he keeps coming back. And I thought I was a masochist...

"You better wait outside. I do not feel like dealing with a _drunk _Mike tonight."

Not that the sober one was much better.

"But it's so fun to watch him make his move and you shoot him down before he even gets started." He could be such a child.

"Outside Cullen." I return sharply, hanging up the phone before he can say any more.

Since I sleep in only a tank top and underwear, I throw on some shorts and flip flops and pull my hair in a messy bun and grab my keys. For once, bed is more appealing than being the female knight in shining armor. I leave, shutting the door behind me. Thank God it's summer and warm outside, or this would be one hell of a drag.

I pull onto Mike's street. There are cars everywhere; it's like a massive get-together of every car manufacturer imaginable. Edward better be outside waiting, because there is no way in fuck I am parking and walking a block to hunt his ass down. I stop in the middle of the street in front of Mike's. Anybody that comes up behind me can go around... It's one in the morning and I'm helping a friend; I deserve the road to myself.

**I'm here, Romeo. You have 5 sec to get in the car or I'll txt Lauren & tell her u think ur in luv w/ her but r just 2 scared to say it- MB**

**I c u. U r sooo mean, why we still friends? – E**

**Cuz u find me HI-larious and I know all ur dirty little secrets. U shd feel privileged I let u bask in my awesomeness- MB**

**I think u hv that backwards. Plus, I hv just as much dirt on u- E**

**Touche' – MB**

He does have a point. He's known me my whole life and he knows way too much about me, to be honest. I tell him stuff I don't even tell Emmett, and he is my brother. Emmett, Edward, and Jasper have been best friends since they were babies, and when I came to visit in the summer, that's the _wonderful_crowd I hung out with. It wasn't until I moved in with my dad and Emmett when I was twelve, that Edward and I became closer. I don't know what it is – we're just on the same wave length, I guess. I mean I'm close with Em and Jasper too, and now Alice and Rose, but with Edward, we just click...

Finally, he makes his way through the crowd of people littered outside of Mike's, and hops in my car. The smell of cologne, cigarettes, and alcohol permeates throughout the area as he plops down in the passenger seat. I inhale deeply as he flashes me his signature smirk and shuts the door. There is that skipping heart again.

"Thanks, MB. You _are _the greatest! What would I do without you?" he says in a sing-song voice.

"Have to deal with your one-timers in the morning and actually pay for a taxi." I say, smirking myself.

"Hey, I've offered to pay. It's not my fault you have crappy business sense and don't jump on the opportunity when offered." Edward shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

"Usually when I _jump _on something, I don't charge a fee." A wicked smile spreads across my face.

It took him a second to compute what I just said, but as soon as he did, he starts laughing and has the flare of dirty thoughts in his eyes. I can only hope it was _me __jumping _on him that he was thinking about.

"Wow, a little slow on the up–take, are we?"

"Shit!" he grumbles. "I left my keys at Mike's… I can't get into my house. Can I just crash at your place?"

"Don't you have one of those hideaway keys?" I raise a slightly peeved eyebrow.

"I do, but I'm pretty sure Em hid it someplace else and I am too drunk to look for it. What, you don't want me at your place? Is there a naked man in your bed that you're trying to hide? I can do a party of three… Company's always… entertaining." An evil and mischievous grin spreads on his lips. "Or perhaps, a naked woman…that would be hot." Just by looking at his face, I can tell the dirty wheels were spinning again.

"Put on the dirty train brakes. There is no naked anything in my bed. You know I never bring people home with me. I can't spare us the awkward, 'what was your name again' conversation if I can't sneak out before they wake up."

"I taught you well," Edward replies, making the 'I'm getting choked up' face.

"I'm so proud." He reaches up and wipes a fake tear off his cheek.

"Yes, thank you, Sensei, for teaching me your wise ways of fucking em' and then chucking em'," I say sarcastically with an eye roll. "I don't care if you stay, but if you kick me in your sleep, you will be sleeping on the floor."

"Well, if you had an actual couch for me to sleep on, that wouldn't be a problem..."

"I have a studio apartment with limited space," I say in defense. "I make do with my oversized chair and throw pillows. Don't kick me in your sleep. Problem solved."

When we arrive at my house, I throw my keys on the counter, kick my flip flops off, and go straight in to the bathroom. _Pills, pills, where are my sleeping pills_? There is no way I'm going to get any sleep with him in the same bed with me…

_Aw, found you_, _sweet little pill_. _Come to mama, my blue friend_. I pop it into my mouth, and take a swig of water to wash it down. I don't generally take my pills unless I'm going through a really bad bout of insomnia (which happens more than I would like) but the thought of Edward being that close to me all night makes me giddy, nervous, and horny. Sleeping won't really be an option with all those sexual impulses jumping crazily in me.

When I come out of the bathroom, I stop dead in my tracks and my mouth drops open. Edward had already taken off his shirt and is unbuckling his pants. Holy shit, he is glorious. His body is lean with just the right amount of muscle definition. I just want to lick and kiss those abs. They are… _Oh God, _ I can see the Ken doll lines. Gazing at them just makes me instantly wet. Fuck. Okay, stop drooling and pull yourself together, Bella, before he sees you raping him with your eyes. Thank the sweet Lord for that pill. That's all I have to say.

"You done in there? I gotta piss." For a second, his face looks like he knew I was staring, but just as quickly as the expression came, it was gone.

"All yours. Don't pee on the seat."

"Yes, Mama." He salutes me when he walks past, and for a second, I could swear he's checking me out.

Rolling my eyes, I quickly turn off the light and hop into bed, with my back facing the bathroom. I still have a few minutes before the pill kicks in and I don't know if I can stop myself from touching him if I look again…

It doesn't take long before the pill starts to make me drowsy. My eye lids get heavier and heavier. Before I succumb sleep, I feel him climb into bed. The familiar spark of electricity runs through my body like it always does when he is close.

"Night, Bella," is the last thing I hear before drifting off to sleep.

****A/N So what did you think? * biting my nails nervously* I have half the story already wrote, so updates should come regularly. Hopefully once a week. Thanks again for reading!**

**XOZO**

**HB**

***** HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I know, I know, I give you one chapter and then disappear for 3 weeks. I could tell you that I went to Vegas, ended up drugged and left in the desert where I walked around for days until I was picked up by mobsters and forced to be a stripper until I "work off me debt", a debt to which I'm still not quiet sure about. I managed to escape and hitch back to Washington, where I am now safe and fairly unharmed-minus the I heart Johnny Knuckles tattoo on my left thigh. I know what you're thinking, yes, I made sure the tattoo needle was sterile. No Hep C for me. **

**Truth be told, I did actually go to Vegas, sadly it was only for a weekend, managed to fall off the curb the first 30 minutes there and hurt my foot. A foot which I walked all over Vegas on. Not a happy foot, let me tell ya. I did zip line over Freemont Street which was F^&*'n AWESOME. Oh, and went and saw a topless vampire show, where they danced to classic rock songs. So really, all I can say is life happens. I do have 5 chapters completely done and if you're nice I will post two this week. **

**I want to thank by BFF Kimmie for reading, proofing, and supporting my crazy mind. She is the BEST and I love her to bits. She, sadly and much to my dismay, she has only watched the first Twilight movie and really don't know the beauty of it. I have a plan to change that, she just doesn't know it yet. Also thanks to everyone that favorited my story. I was so excited and possibly squealed like a 13 year old girl seeing Justin Beiber. I do apologize again for the late update but I promise it won't happen again. **

**FYI- this chapter contains LEMONS. Really it's one giant lemon. **

**Oh and I don't own Twilight, only the voices in my head. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 2**

_His hands slowly made his way up my leg leaving a trail of electricity behind it. He stopped just above them hem of my shirt. He lifted it up slightly and started placing little soft kisses on my stomach. Fuck. That feels soooo good. I could feel him smiling as I let out a soft moan. The knot in my stomach started to get tighter and my body felt like it was on fire. A good, loinee, tingly fire. How is it possible that he can make me feel like this with a soft touch and a few kisses? He continued to kiss up my stomach, pushing my shirt farther up until my breasts were exposed to the cold air. If I wasn't already so turned on, my nips would be hard. He brought his right hand up and started cupping my breast. Then the licking and sucking started. _

"_Fuck," I moan. Again, I can feel him smile, gratified by my reaction. _

"_God, you're beautiful," he whispers in my ear before he kissing and nipping at my neck. _

_I let out another low moan. Dear God, he is going to kill me. If he keeps this up, I think I might just cum and we haven't even gotten to the good stuff. _

I suddenly sit up in bed. My breath is heavy, my head is still quite foggy, and I am still half asleep. Part of my brain knows I am awake and it was all a dream, but on the other hand I still feel like I'm dreaming. One thing I know is, dream or no dream, my body feels like it is on fire and needs to be satisfied.

I look over and see a half-naked, half-asleep Edward looking up at me wondering what is going on.

"MB?" he whispers.

Instead of answering him with words, my eyes roam over his body, taking him in. I linger on his lips before I look into his eyes. When I finally look into his eyes, they match what I imagine mine look like. Even through a sleep-filled haze, they are black and radiating nothing but pure lust, screaming "I want you" back at me.

Without hesitating, I push him flat on his back and straddle him. I look at him one more time to give him a moment to stop me, but he doesn't. I crash my lips down onto his. He doesn't hesitate for a moment and kisses me back. He laces his fingers in my hair, pulling me even closer and deepening the kiss. I open my mouth and his tongue meets mine. Our kisses become even more heated and hungry. I can feel him getting hard so I grind my hips against him. He lets out a low throaty moan. God, I love that sound. I grind my hips again, this time making us both moan.

Not breaking our kiss, he flips me over so he's now on top of me. His warm body presses against mine, his hard cock rubbing against me. I open my legs and he slides in between them. Without even thinking, I buck my hips into him and the friction makes me moan.

"_God._"

He starts tugging at my shirt. I sit up a little so he can pull it over my head, not breaking our kiss until then. I lay back against the pillow, instantly missing his lips on mine. He stares at me for a moment, taking me in. That famous smirk spreads across his face. He leans down and begins to place small kisses on my stomach making his way up to my breasts, just like in my dream.

"Oh God," I moan. The sensation of his lips on my skin is going to drive me over the edge. Once he reaches them, he starts licking and sucking. My back arches and the knot inside my stomach starts to tighten.

"Fuck." His hand slowly and rather painfully travels down my body till he hits my clit.

"God, Bella, you are so wet." He begins to rub small circles in just the right spot. It didn't take very long until that knot finally snapped. A wave of pleasure washes over my body.

I arched my back farther off the bed and yell, "Fuck, Edward!"

I pull his lips to mine and kiss him hungrily. "Now. I need you now," I say against his lips, not wanting to stop.

He breaks our kiss, reaches down and pulls the rest of my clothes off.

Just like in my dream he whispers, "God, you're so fucking beautiful." His hands trace the curves of my body, leaving that now familiar trail of electricity behind. I reach down and start pulling at his boxers. He lets go of me and helps me take them off the rest of the way. His cock springs free and I couldn't keep myself from looking. Fuck, he's big. I didn't think it was possible, but his dick is just as beautiful as the rest of him.

I let out a little gasp and I looked up to see him smirk at me. Cocky? Well, he has every right to be. He has a beautiful large cock and I want it. I swear my vagina was making grabby hands. He leans over to my night stand, opens the drawer and pulls out a condom. How did he…? Fuck it. I don't care how he knows. All I care about is his penis in my vagina, fucking me five ways to Sunday.

He quickly puts it on and positions himself at my opening. Before he thrusts all the way in, he hesitates. I open my eyes to see him staring back at me. The look in his eyes says, 'God, I want you, but are you sure?' I know my eyes scream yes. Is this going to change things between us? I hope not but I am so overcome by the sensation his body makes me feel and the want – no, need – for him that I really don't give a fuck about the consequences.

One look is all it takes and he thrusts into me.

"Oh, fuck," I moan.

"Fuck, Bella. You feel so good." He starts moving slowly in and out like he is savoring every movement. God, does it feel good! I need more.

I pull him down and kiss him hard. I whisper in his ear, "Edward, I want you to fuck me. Hard." His head is buried in my neck and I hear him let out a deep growl within his chest.

"Fuck, MB." He begins to thrust harder and faster. I thought that he felt good before but this… this is fucking amazing. I don't even know some of the sounds that escape from my mouth but I don't care. My stomach tightens and my body begins to shake.

"OH, GOD! FUCK!" I scream, my eyes rolling in the back of my head. As I come down from my high, he starts to slow down bit.

"I love that sound," he says, kissing me. He flips me over so I am on all fours. His hands move over the curves of my body once more before he thrusts full force into me. I cry out in pleasure. I lean down so my face is buried in the pillow and my ass is up in the air so he can go deeper. The sound of his thighs meeting my ass is probably one of my favorite sounds.

"Fuck. That… feels… ohhhh… so… good!" Forming any sort of words are becoming harder and harder to do.

"Fuck, Bella, I want you to cum again for me."

I was already close but him saying that, in that voice, makes me cum harder than I did the first two times.

"OH… GOD, YES!" I scream into the pillow. As soon as my pussy start to contract, he starts thrusting harder and even faster than before. I know he is about to cum.

"FUCK," he growls. Now, that… _that's_ my favorite sound. He begins to slow his pace as we both start to come down. My legs give out and he slumps on top of me. We are both breathing heavy, our chests moving together trying to compose ourselves. We lay there for a minute not moving, only breathing.

After a few minutes, he pulls out of me. My body instantly misses the feel of him. I let out a small whimper. God, what is wrong with me? That was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I have _never_ had sex like that, _ever_. Maybe it was because I'm still half asleep and my body is in this in-between state that makes everything dreamlike and magnified. Yeah, that has to be it, 'cause if it's not… I'm fucking screwed.

He lies back down behind me and pulls me close against his body. He kisses my neck and then whispers, "Fucking amazing." I smile.

"Agreed." I snuggle in closer and instantly start to fall back asleep.

****A/N Thanks so much for reading and please review. It would mean a lot.**

**XOZO**

**HB**

***** HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, I'm back for the next chapter. Did you guys like the last one? I haven't had any reviews so I'm gonna take that as a good sign... In all reality no one is probably reading this or you just don't like it. If I'm wrong, please let me know what you think. Any ideas? Any predictions? What would you do in this situation?**

**I want to thank my bff Kimmie for beta'n my story and stroking my ego. LOVE YOU TO BITS!**

***Don't own Twilight- just the voices in my head.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

The light from my window creeps through, shining on my face. Uggh, no. I don't want to get up. I'm nice and warm and comfortable. Go away, sun. Just go away. As I try to sink farther into the covers, I begin to realize that what I was snuggling into was not more covers but a person. A nice, warm person. All of a sudden, the events of last night come flooding back in. Drunk Edward pick up… signature banter… sleeping here… sleeping pill… dream… Oh my…. I lift up the covers to make sure I haven't just been dreaming. I look, and yep, there lying still and looking like a God is a very_ naked _Edward.

I had sex with Edward. HOLY SHIT! I get out of bed as quickly and quietly as possible so I don't wake him. I run to the bathroom and shut the door.

Oh my god. I cannot believe that happened. I had SEX with Edward. Edward stuck his magic stick in my naughty bits and it was the most mind-blowing experience of my life. Fuck. What am I gonna do? When can I do that again? NO! Shut that thought down. You cannot do that again with Edward. I think my vagina just started crying. I know. I know his penis is magic and it was the best sex you have ever had. God, and that body. Those lips. Those lips on my body. The way he thrust into me… the growl… Okay, stop! You need to get out of here before he wakes up. I've never had the morning after conversation and I don't plan on starting now.

I open the door and peek out to see if he is still asleep. Please God, let him be asleep. If he is, I promise to… do something. I don't exactly know what, but something. Looking over at the bed, I see him still sound asleep snuggled up in all the blankets. God, he is beautiful. I tiptoe out of the bathroom, grab the closest thing to clean I can find on my floor – bright blue sweats, and my Guns n' Roses t-shirt. I grabbed my flip flops, wallet, keys and phone and tiptoe out the door, shutting it as quietly as possible.

I don't even stop to put on my shoes before I get in the car and drive away. Look at me, running away from my best friend like he was one of my one-night stands whose name I don't quite remember. I need to go somewhere and clear my head, talk it out, put this in perspective. I know just where to do that.

"Bella, what are you doing here so early and looking so alert? Not that I mind; it's just I never see you this early unless I'm picking you up from some guys house and usually you are wearing the same thing as the night before, hung over, and bitchy. And _what_ _are you wearing_?" Alice says, looking at me sternly and letting me in the door. She starts walking towards the kitchen, hopefully going to make me some coffee.

"Wow, all in one breath." For such a tiny woman, Alice is a bundle of bouncy energy that never quits. I swear, she injects caffeine into her blood stream every morning when she wakes up.

"Considering how wrinkly they are, you either slept in them – which you better not have. I bought you cute sexy pajamas to wear. How many times have I told you that you need to be prepared just in case there is an emergency and you come in contact with hot firemen and paramedics?" She starts grabbing all the supplies to make me my favorite coffee.

"Alice."

"Or, you got them off the floor. Which, could only mean that they were probably the first things that you saw. Which, probably means you were in a hurry…" She stops pouring the creamer into the cup and turns around. "Wait. Is there a boy in your apartment?" Her voice gets all squealy and high as she bounces up and down.

She stops and grabs the sides of my arms. "Is there a NAKED boy in your bed?"

I start to feels my face flush. Damn blush. Gives me away every time.

"Holy shit, there is! You have a naked boy in YOUR BED!" Again with the squealing and bouncing.

"Jesus Christ, Alice. It's 7:30 in the morning! Could you have at least waited till ten for the squeals?" Rose comes dragging herself down the hallway. God, she looks beautiful even when she first rolls out of bed. I swear, she's not even human.

She pushes past a still-bouncing Alice and grabs a cup of coffee. She leans up against the counter and gives me the raised eyebrow look. "What the hell are you wearing? "

"_That's_ what all the squeals are all about. BELLA HAS A NAKED BOY IN HER BED!"

"No shit. Wait. In your bed, in your apartment? Has that ever happened?"

"Nooopppe." I pop the 'p' and blush.

"So, who is this mystery man who made you break a cardinal rule?"

"Was it Mike? Did he finally wear you down?"

"God, Rose, no." I say, a little offended. If I was gonna break my #2 rule, it sure as hell wouldn't be Mike.

"John, Paul, George, Ringo," Alice chimes in.

"Seriously, Alice… Actually, I probably would let them in but there would be no old wrinkly Beatle balls rubbing on my sheets."

"Then who is it?" Alice is bouncing again.

"Wait. Do you not know his name?" Rose questions.

"Oh, no. I _know_ who_ he_ is." I could feel myself starting to get red again.

"Look at that blush."

"The suspense is killing me. Just spit it out Bella."

I look between Rose, who is giving me the stink eye and drumming her fingers against the cup as she brings it to her lips, and Alice who is bouncing slightly next to her.

"It's Edward." I say into the cup as I take a drink of my coffee.

****A/N ****So how do you think Rose and Alice are going to react? If I start to get reviews I will give you some teasers. **

**XOZO**

**HB**

***** HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**First and foremost I wanna thank EVERYONE that has added me to their author alerts, added TDHIRL to their story alerts, and who reviewed. It totally warms the cockles of my heart! You guys are AWESOME. I also need to thank my BFF Kimmie for beta. She is the best.**

**So now that she told them who was in her bed how will they react? Is it gonna get weird and awkward? Maybe...maybe not. You will just have to wait and see. **

***Oh yeah, I don't own Twilight- only the voices in my head.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4**

I look over the rim of my cup at Alice and Rose. Alice stops bouncing. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging open. Rose stops mid-drink and is staring at me.

"Did you say Edward?" Alice finally asks.

I nod and take another sip of my coffee. Right about now, I wish I had some Bailey's to go with this. Rose continues to stare at me, most likely trying to piece together what happened with the limited information she has.

"What did he do, leave his keys at some hussy's house because he was in such a rush to leave? I swear that boy really knows how to pick em'. At least he never brings them around so we don't have to pretend to be nice. Was it Lauren? I saw her trying to get all up on him last night at Mike's," Alice says while making the 'I just ate something bad' face.

_Really?_ She didn't figure it out. I thought for sure Alice would have known right when I walked in considering she is the all-knowing-all-seeing Alice. Is it that hard to believe that Edward would sleep with me?

I look over at Rose. Come on, Rose. Pull through for me. Don't make me say it. "No, I picked him up last night from Mike's". I start to think about him nibbling on my neck. God, that felt good.

I could see everything start clicking together in Rose's head. She slowly puts her coffee cup down and a huge smile appears on her face.

"No fucking way." She looks at me in shock and like a proud mamma.

"What?" Alice says, looking at her.

"Seriously, Alice. I thought for sure you would put the pieces together before I did. Just look at the girl – her face is as red as a tomato."

Alice turns to look at me, studying me closely. I start to feel nervous and fidgety.

"Oh… OHHH. OMG! You had SEX WITH EDWARD!" Alice has now moved from bouncing to full on dancing around me.

"Geez, do you have to be so loud? The neighbors don't need to hear you!"

"I knew this was gonna happen. I just knew it!"

"Really? Then why did it take you so long to figure it out?"

"Because both of you are always saying that you don't feel like that and you're just best friends… yada, yada… But there is always that tension between you two, especially when you're really close to each other. You can practically see it. I knew it was just a matter of time before you both realized how you really felt about each other. It's just like in the movies!" She is now dancing circles around the kitchen.

"Okay, slow your roll, Pixie Trigger. I'm not _in love_ with Edward and this certainly isn't one of your stupid romantic comedies. Shit like that doesn't happen in real life, especially not to me. Do I love Edward? Yes, of course I do. He is one of my best friends. Am I attracted to him? Yes, but any woman or man with one good eye can see how hot that man is. Hell, his voice alone is hot. You don't even need eyes to be attracted to him. I fully admit that. Have I ever been curious as to what he would be like in bed? That thought has crossed my mind once or twice. But I _have not_ been harboring mushy I-love-him-so feelings for him for the past twenty-two years and neither has he."

"How do you know?" Rose points out.

"Because Alice just said he has made the same declaration – just friends, nothing more."

"If you two want to be in denial, that's fine with me. Just remember when you are walking down the aisle, I told you so."

"Okay. Personally, I don't care whether you love each other or not. I want to know about the sex. Is he big? Does he know what to do with it? Did you talk dirty? Did he talk dirty? Spill it, Bella."

"Rose! I am not discussing the size of Edwards's penis with you."

"Why not? I will tell you that Em's packing some serious…"

"ROSE!" I cut her off immediately, plugging my ears. "That is my BROTHER! TMI, TMI. Keep that shit to yourself."

"Well, Jazzy…" Alice chimes in but I stop her at the pass. "You too, Pixie. Jasper is like my brother. I don't need to know _ever." _I still have my ears plugged just in case.

"So, it's okay for you to have carnal knowledge of Edward, whom you've known just as long, but you plug your ears like an eight year old when it comes to Jasper, your pseudo-brother?" Rose asks smugly.

"What is your point, Rose?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." These two are starting to get on my nerves and I'm regretting coming here.

"Will you at least tell me if an orgasm was had?"

"I think you two have watched too much Sex in the City."

"Come on, Bella! You can't blame us for being curious. You said it yourself –Edward is an attractive guy. Just because I'm with Jazzy, and would never and could never be with another man, doesn't mean I am blind and uncurious."

"Ditto. Love your brother but Edward is sexy and he just looks like he would be good."

"Curiosity killed the cat. Have you two heard of that saying?" That statement was met with looks of persistence. I know from prior experience that if I don't tell them something, they will hound me and then get me so drunk that my filter would be nonexistent.

"_Fine_. Let's just say your imaginations probably don't do him justice. Now end of discussion." If we don't stop talking about this, I am going to stay permanently red from blushing so much.

"I KNEW IT!" Alice and Rose shout at the same time.

"Would you say it was the best you've ever had?" Rose is relentless.

"I said end of discussion, Rose."

"I feel Jack, John and Jim in our future," Alice says slyly. "So, now what? Are you guys just gonna pretend like it never happened? Keep doing it – which is my vote by the way – or avoid each other and make it awkward for the rest of us?"

She posed some good questions. Honestly, I don't know what we are going to do. I certainly don't want to avoid him and make it weird for everyone else. Plus, if Em finds out, there will be possible fisticuffs. Do I want to do it again? My libido and vagina are screaming YES! My brain, however, sees that as a bad idea. I don't want to risk losing my best friend over great sex. That situation has the potential of blowing up and making it awkward and uncomfortable for everyone else, which again, I don't want. So, ignore it and pretend it never happened it is. I can do that. I will tuck it away in my box with all my other secrets and memories I need to forget. I'm good at that. Usually it's bad things that I work at forgetting. It might be a nice change of pace to forget a good one.

"I'm leaning towards ignore and forget. I was curious and now I know."

"Kinda like kissing your best girlfriend. I get it," Alice says like she didn't just say she kissed a girl. I look over at Rose who was nodding like she has done the same thing. Is that normal – girls kissing other girls just to see what it is like? I have to say, that thought has never crossed my mind. Although, until Rose and Alice came along, I only hung out with the guys.

"So, what is Edward's take on the situation?"

"Ummm, I don't know. Haven't talked to him." I deliberately say this while taking a drink. I don't need to be Alice to know what's coming next.

"What do you mean, you _don't know_? Didn't you talk at all this morning?" Alice and Rose once again stop what they are doing and stare at me, waiting for the answer.

"No."

"NO?! So, you what, snuck out of bed and came here without waking him?" Rose asks, looking surprised. I thought these two knew me by now.

"Well, I got dressed first."

"I cannot believe…" Alice is cut off by the sound of my phone alerting me to a text.

_Chirp, chirp._

Looking down at my screen, I can see that the message is from Edward. My chest starts to feel a little tight. Calm down, Bella. Stop freaking out. Good thing I'm sitting down because I feel kinda faint. Jesus Christ, Bella, man up and read the damn thing. You know if you don't they are gonna grab your phone and do it for you. Just as that thought crosses my mind, Rose's hand starts to reach for my phone. I snatch it away just in time and click on the message.

**I don't know whether 2 b proud or upset? - E **

I start laughing. Same old Edward. See? You guys can go back to normal.

**I'm gonna go w proud. Just cuz I know ur name, doesn't mean I'm gonna stay for the awkward morn'n convo. Never have, ain't gonna start now. - MB**

**My heart is swelling w pride. LOL. Well I guess thnx r in order for sparing me that too. - E**

**No, prob. That's what friends are for - MB**

**Ur not gonna break out in song are u? - E**

**LOL - MB**

**We good? - E**

**Yeah, we're good. Need a ride 2 ur car? - MB**

**Good. No, got that covered - E**

**K. Lock the door. I don't want some burglar going thru my panty draw. - MB**

**Roger that. A tip- buy granny panties, then that won't happen - E**

I start to laugh. I picture me in granny panties. Then I picture Alice yelling at me for my lack of fashion sense and saying 'you never know'. Besides, I prefer the ones with sayings on them – for educational and screening purposes, of course. Gives the guys something to read and screens out the illiterates.

**How do you know I don't? - MB**

**Cuz I looked ;) - E**

Seriously?! I wouldn't put it past him though. Now I'm picturing me in nothing but panties laying there while he reads them. Dammit! Lock it down, woman.

**Ass - MB**

"So, what did he say?" Alice asks excitedly like he had professed his love or some shit. Instead of retelling, I just hand her my phone to read for herself. Rose comes up behind her to read along. There are a lot of frowns, headshakes, giggles and smiles.

"Why should he be proud that you dined and dashed? I think it is incredibly rude. I, for one, like to at least know their name." Alice shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Well, we are not you. It's just how we roll. Don't think that your precious Jazzy didn't used to do the same thing. Emmett too. I learned from all three of them."

"Sorry, Alice, but I'm on team dine and dash, as you call it. I'm all about saving myself from the awkward. So, you really think you're good?" Rose asked looking a bit concerned.

"Yeah," I say, biting on my lip. I am fairly certain that we are but there is gonna be that little nagging voice in the back of my head telling me _no_ until we hung out again.

"Well, you did have HORRIBLE role models. And another thing – I better not catch you buying granny panties. You know better. It's already bad enough you insist on the ones with pictures and words on them. I will string you alive if I see any and don't try to hide them. I will know."

I burst out laughing. I knew that was gonna be her reaction. I also know better than to cross Alice. She may be tiny but she is feisty. We chat a little while – non-Edward related topics, thank God – until I feel it's safe to go home.

"Alright, Carrie and Samantha, I'm headed home. I need a shower. I will call you later."

***A/N So what do you think? I think the girls are a little disappointed that Bella didn't dish out the dirty details. Don't worry, I wouldn't put past Rose and Alice to get her drunk so she spills. OK, decision made- pretend it never happened and they're good, how long do you think that will last? Next chapter will be all Edward. How does he feel about what happened? **

**Thanks again for reading! Please review! I want to hear your thoughts.**

**HB**

******* HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me.****


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, I want to thank everyone sooooo much for reading, not only putting the story, but myself on alert, and reviewing! Seriously my slightly chilled heart thaws everytime. I also need to thank, as always my BFF and kindred, twisted and crazy spirt Kimmie for reading and making me sound like I am actually kinda, maybe, I'm totally just gonna fake it smart. **

**I am a tad bit late on updating this chapter because I had some health issues. I have these weird migraines called sporadic hemiplegic migraines where I look like I am having a stroke, half by body either goes numb or goes paralyzed from the neck down, and I am either unable to speak, it comes out a garbled mess, or I slurr alot- among some other awesome things. Let me tell you, there is nothing I like more than having one of these at work and being wheeled down the hallway like a parade float becuase I can't move and all that is coming out of my mouth is grunting (not remotely sexual, more like cavewoman gruntting) noises, not embarassing _at all_- I requested that they at least throw confetti next time. All of which last for about 6 hours and for the next couples days I am extremly weak, in a lot of pain, and my brain slows down.**** They are pretty rare and not delightful one bit. Needless to say doing anything but sleep is difficult. Good news is I am now on the latter half and will hopefully feel better by Saturday and stairs won't be my arch nemesis as they have been the last three days. I have some writting to do and I would like to be able to feel my fingers fully and have the thoughts in my head make sense on paper.**

**Which reminds me, I'm going to see Hunger Games Sat. Any body else? Oh yeah, I don't own Twilight.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

EPOV

The morning – or maybe it's afternoon, I'm not quite sure – light filters through the window onto my face. I grab the pillow and I cover my head to block it out. I'm tired, hung-over, and do not feel the need to move. It's Sunday, the day of rest. I see no need in getting up until possibly early evening. This is when last night hits me. Holy shit, I had _sex_ with Bella. Without looking, I slowly move my arm to the other side of the bed. I know she likes her sleep so I don't want to wake her. Except my hand finds nothing but bed. What the fuck?

I lift the pillow up and look around. The other side of the bed is empty. Sitting up, I scan the room for any signs of Bella. Bathroom door is open and the light is off so she's not in there. Scanning the countertop in the kitchen, I notice that her keys are gone. Which means she bailed… on _me_.

No one has ever bailed on me. _Ever_. I'm Edward Cullen. I'm the one who leaves before they wake up, not the other way around. If I'm being honest with myself, I think my ego is a tad bit bruised. Last night was… well, unexpected at first. Then it was… fucking awesome. I've had a lot of sex in my day but never like that. I'm rather disappointed that she isn't here so we can do it again.

Wait, what are you saying, Cullen? When was it that you turned into a chick? You have never stayed and had sex again the next day. That's not you! You fuck em' and chuck em'. Just because it's Bella… well, that's the problem, isn't it? It's Bella. She's not someone that should be used like that. I have actual respect for her. She's not some bimbo in a bar with a nice rack. Jesus, what the fuck did I do? Emmett will kill me if he ever finds out.

I start running my fingers through my hair. I do that a lot when I'm nervous or upset. That's probably why my hair is always a mess. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and try to sort out what happened and what I'm gonna do about it.

Okay. Fact: Bella and I had sex. _Really, really_ good sex. I could feel my dick start to twitch. Stop it, dammit! You are not helping. Technically, Bella took advantage of _me_ in my sleep. Caught me off guard. I was half asleep, still a little drunk, and vulnerable. If I was awake and sober… Hell, who am I kidding? I would have still done it. There is no denying that there has always been this underlying current that runs between us. I honestly can't remember a time when I haven't felt it whenever we're close. Granted, I pushed it to the back of my mind never really giving it much thought – until today, that is. I also won't deny that I am attracted to her. Whether she likes to admit it or not, she is hot. Her body is toned and she has curves in all the right places. Her breasts are not too small, not too big… _Twitch, twitch. _Dammit! Okay, stop that before you have to go rub one out in her bathroom. I won't lie – I have always been curious about what it would be like to be with her. But she is one of my best friends and Emmett's sister. I cringe at the thought of what he might do. I'm fast but he's a big dude and I've seen him mad. Don't particularly want to be on the receiving end of that _ever._

I'm a bit confused as to why I feel wounded that she split before I woke up. Why should I care? Who wants the next day conversation? I certainly don't. So why am I so bothered? The only explanation I can come up with is, again, it's Bella. I don't want this to screw up our friendship. I need her in my life. I value her friendship just as much as Em and Jaz. Maybe even more. Who else am I gonna find that will take the shit I give out and dish it right back? Who else am I gonna confide in when my life isn't going how I planned? To give me perspective and tell me like it is instead of what they think I want to hear. I just want to make sure that we're good and it's not gonna get all awkward.

Well, only one way to find out. I reach down and grab my pants off the floor so I can grab my phone out of my pocket. I thought about calling but decided on a text instead.

**I don't know whether 2 b proud or upset? - E **

I start running my fingers through my hair again. God, why am I so nervous? I feel like I'm fifteen again. That awkward, nervous Edward Cullen is gone. Once I grew into myself a bit and realized the way women looked at me and the effect I had on them, all the nervousness just went away.

**I'm gonna go w proud. Just cuz I know ur name, doesn't mean I'm gonna stay for the awkward morn'n convo. Never have, ain't gonna start now. - MB**

I laugh. She has a point. I have taught her well.

**My heart is swelling w pride. LOL. Well I guess thnx r in order for sparing me that too. - E**

**No, prob. That's what friends are for - MB**

**Ur not gonna break out in song are u? - E**

**LOL- MB**

Okay, time to ask the big question. I quickly type my text and hit send.

**We good? - E**

**Yeah, we're good. Need a ride 2 ur car? - MB**

I let out a sigh of relief. Good, we're good. That's what I wanted to hear. Do I want her to come get me? No, just because she said we're good doesn't mean I'm ready to see her face-to-face yet – just in case she is lying. Her face gives everything away so if she's lying, I'll know right away. I'll call Jaz.

**Good. No, got that covered - E**

**K. Lock the door. I don't want some burglar going thru my panty draw. - MB**

**Roger that. A tip- buy granny panties, then that won't happen - E**

I have a feeling that she would still look hot in granny panties.

**How do you know I don't? - MB**

**Cuz I looked ;) - E**

I didn't really. Well, not in her drawer anyway. I did happen to get a quick glance at them last night before they were discarded. I start to smile at that very quick but fond memory. A flash of a panda as it was getting tossed on the floor. I do, however, know that there is no way in hell Alice would ever let her own a pair.

**Ass - MB**

I have to laugh 'cause I could totally picture the angry-kitty face she makes when she is pretending to be mad but deep down thinks it's funny.

**Hey can you come pick me up & take me 2 get my car? - E**

**No prob slut - J**

**STFU, I'm not a slut. I'm well rounded. - E**

**Plz tell me ur not Lauren's. On 2****nd**** thought, do cuz I hv a ton a material saved up for that. - J**

**Haha. Sorry 2 burst ur bubble but I'm B's - E**

I was a bit nervous about how Jasper was going to respond to that. He may not get it yet but when we are face-to-face, he will know. Jasper always knows. He has this freak sixth sense where he picks up on people's moods, even if they're just a tad bit off. I'm running my fingers through my hair again. Good thing I look good with tousled bed head.

**Wow. Did the great Eddie Cullen strike out last night? - J**

**Why can't B take u? - J**

Because we had great amazing sex and she is avoiding me even though she says we're good, I think to myself.

**She left early. Had shit to do- E**

**Fine. ETA 5 min. Be outside or u walk. I hv plans w Alice & I don't wanna b late. - J**

**Roger that - E**

I scavenge for my clothes that seem to have been thrown in every part of her apartment. Jeans by the bed, shirt by the bathroom, boxers... – _found em_' – under the bed. I slide my shoes on and run outside just as Jasper pulls up.

As I slide into his car, I silently pray there is a kink in his gift and he doesn't ask any questions. He's not Emmett but he is still protective of Bella like a sister and will not be happy either.

"'Sup, man? Thanks for the ride. I owe you."

"For you, bro, no prob, and yes you do. I will just stash it away with all your other IOU's for a rainy day." I cringe at the thought of that. The last time he 'collected', I ended up in drag and being hit on by drunken frat boys.

"For someone who struck out last night, you still look a bit like Aftersexward. Did Bells make you sleep on the floor? You kicked her, didn't you? She hates that." I could see him glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. Shit, how do I answer this? If I lie, he will know. He _always_ knows. Fuck. Alright, Cullen, man up and just answer truthfully.

"No, there was no kicking." Licking, sucking… Twitch. Down, trigger. Now is not the time. "Slept in the bed." I say in my best 'nothing happened', casual voice. Jasper is quiet for a few minutes. That scares me. That means he is dissecting my answers with his voodoo powers. I glance over and he is staring at me.

"What?" Fuck, he knows. I start to brace myself self for what is coming next.

"Emmett's gonna kill you." That's it? No third degree? No high horse? Not that I'm complaining or anything.

"Just for the record, she attacked me."

Jasper laughs. "_Sure_, she did."

"I swear to God, Jasper. She picked me up and took me back to her place because Mike still had my keys and Em hid my hide-a-key. I passed right out and the next thing I know, she is straddling me and kissing me. What was I supposed to do?"

"Have you ever heard of the word no?"

"You're fucking kidding me, right? If you were half asleep, still kinda drunk, and woken up by a hot woman like that, you would push her off and tell her no?"

"Well, no, probably not. But it's _Bella_."

"Trust me, I am well aware of the fact that it was Bella. At least, my brain was… that one was not one hundred percent. My dick, however, was thinking quite clearly and she had his full attention."

"Would you have stopped if you were clear-headed?"

"Truthfully?"

"Truthfully," Jasper says with a look that screams 'I already know, I just want you to admit it'.

"No. What would you have done, oh Wise One?"

"No, probably not." I looked at him, stunned. That isn't the answer I was expecting.

"What? I might consider her to be like a sister but I'm not blind. Bella is hot. If the situation came up and I was single like you, I would let her jump all over this. I always wondered what she would be like in bed." His tone is casual like he didn't just blow my mind. I am still staring at him in shock and, if I admit it, a little mad that he was thinking of MB like that.

"Quit with the shocked look. I may have way more morals than you and be completely in love with Alli, but I'm still a man."

"Sorry. Just not the conversation I thought we would be having after you figured it out."

"Did you think I was going to lecture you?"

"Well, yeah."

"I'm not Em. Was it the smartest thing you've ever done? Probably not, but I don't blame you. Just don't let Emmett find out. If he does… Well, sucks to be you. You might have to leave town."

"I plan on him never finding out. If he does, I will tell him technically it's his fault for hiding my hide-away key so I couldn't get in to my own house. If he wouldn't have done that, I would have been tucked into my own bed, away from temptation."

Jasper is now laughing so hard, I think I see a tear escape. "You can justify just about anything, can't you? I don't think he's gonna see it that way though. Just because you were in her bed, doesn't mean you have to violate her. Just saying."

"She violated _me_ and took advantage of _me_ in my vulnerable state. Remember that."

"_Right_. Forgot that part. So, how was it?"

"Jasper, really. I don't kiss and tell."

"Bullshit, you don't. I have heard about every sexual conquest you have ever had, whether I wanted to or not. You can't hold out on me now. You don't have to go into detail or anything because it is Bella and I'm already risking my neck on being an accessory of knowledge."

"Pretty fucking awesome." He didn't need any more than that. It already bugged me that he thought about it. I don't need to add any fuel to his imagination.

"So, now what?" I would like to act confused by his question but I know he is wondering if it's gonna be all awkward with us now, which in turn would put a kink in our group dynamic.

"Nothing. It happened. We move on. We're good."

***A/N My first EPOV, what did you think? Do you think they are actually good? How do you think Edward's, she took advantage of me defense will go over with Emmett? I am gonna go with, go thing Edward is fast...just saying.**

**I hope you enjoyed reading. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**I read a lot of fanfic and I always see people doing recs, so I thought I would rec some of my favs for you.**

**Anything from , forthelongestday, CarNo, and Nolebucgrl- love all their stuff.**

**Word with Strangers/Words with Friends so good and so funny!**

**The Harder they Fall- the first fanfic I ever read and the one that got me hooked!**

**HB**

***** HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I have some good news and some bad news. I will start with the bad news first, get it out of the way. I had 2 of my "episodes" in less then a week! This is bad news bears people. I might have had a minor or major breakdown because these things are scary as shit. They mess with the control center of the ship I call my body. If I can't get a handle on them, they can actually cause me to have a stroke. So back to the neuro again to redo the meds. So keep your finger, toes, and, legs... well who am I kidding never your legs, unless you're under the age of18, then keep them crossed until you find someone that you love, a lot. Oh, and I will tell you what I told my son, except I will change it around for the girls, make sure it's wrapped up, NO GLOVE, NO LOVE, and get on the pill. For two reason, you don't wanna have babies till you're ready, and you don't want a sick vagina. I totally got off topic but I did mention these things to my son during "the talk". If you read my blog it's all on there. It was all very hilarious. **

**Now for the good news! Even though I was mentally impared I managed to finish chapter 6! I didn't get very far on chapter 7 but I know what it's all about so hopefully it will get knocked out soon. I was told by Kimmie that this chapter does make sense, I was a little worried since my thoughts were a tad on the cloudy side. A big thanks to Kimmie for doing what she does as always. Warm fuzzies and XOZO's to all of you who reviewed, and alerted me and the story. You guys have no idea how much it means to me. **

****Oh yeah believe it or not, I don't own Twilight-just the voices in my head.**

**Chapter 6**

"_Fuck, MB." He begins to thrust harder and faster. I thought that he felt good before, but this… this is fucking amazing. I don't even know what some of the sounds that escape my mouth are but I don't care. My stomach begins to tighten and my body begins to shake._

Ring, Ring, Ring.

"_OH, GOD! FUCK!" I scream, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. As I come down from my high, he starts to slow down bit._

_Ring. Ring. Ring. _

_Who the fuck?_…

RING. RING. RING.

I realize I was dreaming – about Edward _again_. The ringing, however, was not part of the dream. Why is it that people keep calling me at all hours and waking me from good dreams? I peek at my alarm clock from under my pillow. 6:05. Someone has a death wish. I grab my phone off my nightstand. Correction: _Alice_ has a death wish.

"What?" My voice is scratchy and… well, pissed.

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine! You really need to work on your phone etiquette." Her voice is so chipper. Way too fucking chipper.

"I'll start working on my phone etiquette when you start calling at a decent time. Jesus Christ, Alice, it's six o'clock in the morning." At this point, I'm starting to have homicidal thoughts towards my dear best friend – like smothering her with my pillow. Everyone who knows me knows I'm not a morning person and to not engage the beast until I've had my coffee and it's around 10 a.m. That time doubles when I've been out drinking the night before, which Alice would know I was, since she was there and the one practically pouring liquor down my throat.

"Actually, it's 6:07."

"Smartass." I groan. Smothering, definitely. I wonder if I can make it look like an accident. _You see, Officer, I tripped and fell. Landed right on top of her face, pillow first. I didn't mean to kill her, honest to God. She was my best friend. _

I think I might have a chance since anyone who knows me knows that that I am incredibly uncoordinated. It's sort of like the old 'I didn't mean to sleep with him, honey. I just tripped, fell, and landed on his dick'.

"Stop thinking of ways to kill me, Bella. You wouldn't get away with it, silly girl."

"I might."

She laughs her whimsical laugh. "Oh Bella, I love you and your homicidal thoughts. Did you forget that we are heading to Forks today for Hot Daddy Swan's wedding?"

"Eww, Alice. How many times have I told you and Rose not to call Charlie that?"

"Probably around two hundred and fifty, but we can't help it that your dad is a DILF."

"Alice!" She just starts laughing again. I don't know why I brother. They have been calling Charlie that since the day they met him. I have no problem with them calling him that when I am not present. No girl wants to think of their dad as a DILF. _Gross_.

"How are you awake and so fucking chipper right now? You were drinking alongside me and Rose last night. I left at like 2 a.m., which gives you, what, around three hours of sleep? Do you ever sleep or do you just inject caffeine into your bloodstream?"

"Silly Bella, I only need three to four hours of sleep. I can really sleep when I'm dead. Besides, I didn't drink as much as you and Rose did. I knew I had a big day ahead."

"How 'bout you go bug Rose then and let me go back to sleep. It always takes her longer to get ready than me. Then move on to Edward since he sleeps like the dead. That will give me at least an hour and a half more." That sounded like an excellent plan to me.

"Good…" Before I can finish, she interrupts me.

"Good try but not gonna happen. Those two are already taken care of. I went over to Eddie's at five 'cause I knew it would take at least fifteen minutes to get him to even open an eye and another fifteen to get showered and dressed. While I waited, I packed his bags and called to woke up Rose and Emmett."

I would say I was shocked but this is typical Alice. We all came to realize quickly that once Alice has a plan – and she always has a plan – stopping her or arguing with her is futile.

"What? You didn't go over and pack their bags too?"

"No, I did that yesterday before you got there. Now, uncover your head, get your pretty little ass out of bed, take a quick shower because you reek of tequila, and get dressed. Rose and I will be there in twenty."

How did she know?… Who am I kidding? Alice knows everything. "Alice, I…"

"Don't worry. I already packed your clothes. Your suitcase is by the door and your clothes for today are hanging in the bathroom. Now, GET IN THE SHOWER! Outside in twenty minutes, Bella. Don't make me come up and get you." With that, she hangs up the phone.

I would like to say screw Alice and go back to bed, but from past experience, you don't mess with Alice when she tells you to do something. She is quite the force of nature wrapped in a very tiny package.

I uncover my head and drag my tired ass into the shower. I'm pretty sure I'm still little drunk, I have a massive headache, and I feel like shit. I turn the water on lukewarm, almost cold. Not only do I need to wake up and sober up, I also need to cool down. I can still feel the Edward from my dream touching me. I really wish the dreams would stop. They are frustrating and I hate waking up all hot, bothered and horny as fuck. It happened almost three months ago, for Christ sake! Yes, it was fucking AMAZING but since it's never going to happen again, I don't know why my psyche insists on torturing me.

Since I don't bother washing my hair, my shower is quick. I glance up at the back of the door to see that Alice had indeed hung clothes up for me to wear. To my dismay, it isn't sweats and a tank top, not that I'm surprised. Instead, I have a pair black stretch jeggings, a dark blue scoop neck t-shirt, black lacey bra and underwear, with the tags still on – dammit, Alice, and her buying me 'appropriate underwear' – and some zebra print ballet flats.

I quickly run my hands through my hair. A quick side braid, get dressed, glance in the mirror, and I should be on my way. I cringe. Good thing I'm not trying to catch me a man. Oh well, I don't have time to de-scarify myself. Can anyone say sunglasses? I am fully prepared to be that person who wears sunglasses indoors. Not because I think I'm too cool for school, but because this face is Medusa scary and apparently I turned into a vampire 'cause just my bathroom light is _burning_ my eyes, which just increases the bass pounding in my head. I can't imagine what the daylight will do. I say that's a win all around.

Keys, sunglasses, and suitcase – check. I hurry down the stairs just in time to see Alice and Rose roll up in Jasper's black SUV. I open the hatch to throw my stuff in the back with Rose's one bag and Alice's six. Jesus Christ, we are only going to be gone for two days. Why on earth does one tiny little person need all that stuff? I close the hatch and slide into the back seat.

"Morning!" Alice shouts, bouncing up and down. Oh, hell no. There is no way I can deal with Little Miss Ray of Sunshine at all until I get me some coffee.

"Yeah, morning. Before you say anything else, _quietly_ by the way, you're gonna need…"

Before I could finish my statement, Rose leans over and hands me a giant latte. She is also wearing sunglasses but I highly doubt she looks half as bad I do. I swear that woman could be dying of pneumonia and still look amazing.

"Already got that covered. Did you think we were gonna be stuck in a car with you for two hours without giving you coffee? I know I'm not the nicest person in the morning or most of the time but you are a certified bitch till you've had your coffee."

"Thanks." I immediately take a big swig. Mmmmm, so good. Whoever invented coffee should have been crowned king of the world or at least have their face on a stamp.

"There is also Aspirin, a mini bottle of hair of the dog, and a ham and cheese bagel in the little backpack on the floor." That's Alice – always prepared. She's like a fucking boy scout. Thank God, because my head feels like it's gonna explode.

"I don't think I need hair of the dog. I'm pretty sure I'm still drunk."

"Well, it's a good thing I put Bailey's in your coffee."

"What the fuck, Alice? I don't need to show up at my dad's house in the morning, drunk."

"Please. Do you really think I would let that happen? I put just enough to help with your hangover so don't get your extremely cute black lace panties in a bunch. By the time we get there, you will feel better. So take your Aspirin, drink your coffee, and eat," Alice says with a smile.

I stick my tongue out at her like a child, then do what she says. Damn her and always knowing what I need.

"Love you too, Bella."

"Explain to me again why the fuck you woke us up so early?" Rose asks, annoyed.

"Yeah, why is that? Forks is only two hours, less if you drive fast. Why couldn't we have waited till, say ten?"

"Because we have lots to do, that's why. Do you know how much work I've put into this already? The wedding is tomorrow and there are lots of things still left to be done. I may be the best wedding planner in Washington but I can't just snap my fingers and everything comes together."

"That's a lie. I see you snap your fingers at people and things happen all the time."

"Bella's right. You do snap a lot."

"It was a figure of speech… You know what I mean."

"You still didn't answer why _we_ had to get up so early. I understand that you are super wedding planner and need to make sure everything is done right and that you need to be there, but the rest of us could have come later."

"I need your help. That's why. It's your dad's wedding. Don't you want it to be perfect?"

"Of course, I do. I just think that it will still be prefect if you would have let me sleep and I showed up later to help."

"That is an excellent point, Bella." Rose agrees.

"If I would have left in up to you yahoos, you wouldn't have rolled in till late in the afternoon. I would have been scrambling to get everything set up, check on the caterer, the flowers, and final fittings. I would have gone crazy and quite possibly had a massive meltdown. Would really want to risk my wellbeing and mental stability for a few extra hours of sleep?"

"Yes." Rose and I say in unison. She gives us both dirty looks but doesn't say anything. She knows we are just talking out our very tired and hung-over asses. We would do anything for her just as she would for us.

"So, I think we should continue our talk from last night."

"Oh, yeah. Let's. I would like to hear more about Edward and his magic penis."

Fuck, I was really hoping that after last night's 'get Bella drunk so we can hear the dirty details' was enough and they would just drop it.

"Let's not."

"Come on, Bella. We wanna hear more about how he made you scream his name with his magic penis and how it was the best sex you've ever had."

"First of all, I never said he had a magic penis."

"Yes, you did," they say in unison.

"Well, I don't recall that and if I don't remember, then it never happened. Second, the answer is no. You got me drunk and I dished last night. Be happy with that."

"Yeah, but you made us wait three months. Three months, Bella!"

"And…" I'm starting to get annoyed. They harassed me for the first month and when I wouldn't budge, they let it go. Or at least, I thought they did. My hope was that the more time that had gone by and them seeing that nothing had changed between us, they would just forget about it. Instead, those sneaky, patient bitches lay in wait and the minute I let my guard down, they convinced me to have a drunken girls' night where I ended up divulging most of the dirty details. Damn them.

"And maybe you weren't telling us because you guys have been secretly doing it for months now."

"Sorry to break it to you, ladies, but it's been nothing but a two-finger vagina party for this girl." Which is a sad, sad thing. Between the dreams and my overall horniness, I'm gonna end up with carpal tunnel.

"Okay, that's just sad. You are fucking hot. Why are you not getting any action?"

"I haven't really had time. If I'm not at work or hanging out with you guys, I'm painting. Getting laid by someone other than myself isn't a thought that's crossed my mind." I could feel myself starting to turn a little red.

"Or maybe you just don't want to have sex with anyone else besides Edward?" Rose turns around to gauge my facial expression.

"You caught me. I 'm secretly pining away for the next time I can engage in sexual intercourse with Edward. He has ruined me for all other men." I try to say that with a straight face but it isn't working.

"Smartass," Rose mumbles.

"Saying the truth but covering it up with sarcasm to make us think the opposite. Nice try." Alice's face looks smug – a little too smug.

"Now that we have that all cleared up, I'm going to sleep till we get there. Please feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Here is a topic – Alice's view on taffeta bridesmaid dresses. Go."

I lay my head against the window and close my eyes. After seeing Alice's face, I plan on making my mission to get laid by someone other than Edward Cullen and pray he really didn't ruin me.

We finally arrive in Forks about an hour later with the boys following shortly behind. It's a small town so getting to Charlie's doesn't take that long. As we pull up, Charlie's police cruiser isn't in the driveway. He is probably at Sue's getting stuff ready as per instructed by Alice. For his sake, I hope he is. I hop out of the SUV and go around to the back to get my suitcase. To my surprise, Edward has beaten me to it.

"MB, I don't know why you're staying here instead of Mom and Dad's with the rest of us."

"I already told you, I wanted to spend some time here before everything is packed up and some strangers live here. This house holds a lot of good memories for me. Plus, there is gonna be limited room with seven people there already."

Even if it's a relatively short drive, everyone gets out to stretch their legs and pee. Speaking of peeing – after the twenty-four ounce coffee I downed, I really gotta go. Since I'm first in, I have the advantage and run up the stairs. I'm in such a hurry that I don't even notice the steam billowing out of the door until I run smack dab into someone coming out of the bathroom.

"Oh my god. Sorry, Da–" I stop midsentence because I'm looking straight at a tan, very muscular chest. Who the hell? My eyes slowly make their way up to see exactly who I just ran into. Whoever it is feels very nice under my fingers. As soon as I reach his face, I freeze.

"Jake?" I manage to squeak out.

***A/N HOLY SHIT IT'S JAKE! Here's a hint, they have history people and it's not good. How will she react? How will her boys react? Who will she bang to prove that Edward didn't ruin her, Jake, maybe Paul or Embry, Quill? Who do you think?**

**So my mom and I were watching Twilight last night and I was totally cracking up. First let me say, I love Twilight, clearly I do because I write fanfic but I can also see the humor in it. So in the scene after she tells him she knows he is a vampire she asks, "Where are we going?" to which he replys, "Up the mountain. Out of the cloud bank. You need to see what I really am." (or something like that) I turn to my mom and say, what you really are? hate to break it to you dude, but you fucking sparkle- not that scary. It looks like you rolled around in stripper glitter. Again. I LOVE TWILIGHT and I am Team Edward and prehaps a bit Team Jasper. So that got me thinking about writing a o/s about the boys and stipper glitter, what do you think? Would you read it? Please let me know! Please review!**

**XOZO- HB**

***** HB from the future would like to thank Kmah88 for all her mighty red pen skills and making TDHIRL even better. Also, thank you to everyone who nominated and voted for this fic both times. It means the world to me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know, I know it's been awhile since I updated. Did you wonder what happened to me? Did you make up a story as to why I have been away for a couple of weeks? Well good news, I'm not dead! Just let me explain, you see there was a zombie infestation in my town and I had to go all Zombie Land on there asses. it was pretty badass, I have to say. Don't fret, we managed contain the virus and it didn't spread any further. You didn't see it on the news you say? There is a good reason for that, we didn't want to cause mass hysteria and the government came in and erased all evidence. If they knew I was telling you, I will probably be killed so after I post this chapter I will be going underground, off the grid, only popping up in random locations to post chapters. **

**Pretty crazy right! Truth be told, I have really fucking busy. April is a busy month, besides having my "episodes" I have 5 birthday's, weddings, and a lot of other crap. The two biggest birthday's- my 30th and my son's 10th. Holy shit you guys, I have a 10 year old, kinda blows my mind. Being 30 is also a trip. **

**Ok, as always I wanna thank my bff Kimmie for doing what she does for me and being, well my Kimmie. If you pay attention to the reviews, she actually went to the website and read it. To some of you that might not be a big deal but to me it meant to world- I even got a little misty. I LOVE YOU KIMMIE! Next up is Wonder Twin herself JRDurham- thanks for prereading this for me and being one super awesome chick! How on earth have I gone through life this long without you in it? Last, but never least- THANK YOU to everyone who reads my story, I love you all.**

**As you know- I don't own Twlight, just the voices in my head. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

"Jake?" I manage to squeak out. That is actually _all_ I managed to squeak out. I stood there, with my hands still on his perfectly toned, tan chest. My mouth was hanging so wide open flies could fly in, out, hell, they could even mate in my mouth and I wouldn't even have noticed. I have that look of shock on my face that will for sure as fuck stick if it stays long enough.

"Hey Bells." He said quietly. His smile was hesitant and he looked like he was waiting for me to me to start screaming stranger danger or better yet, Ali his ass. Both of those things he totally deserves, don't get me wrong , but since I haven't seen him since he was carried off by a pack of wolves 10 years ago I was still in shock.

"Jesus Christ in holy heaven BB, there are other people in this house that need to hit the head. I drank a big gulp and two waters, the dam is about to break. I'd pee outside but I don't wanna run the risk of Old Ms. Walters seeing me again." Emmett bellowed from downstairs.

Emmett's voice snapped me out of my state of shock. Before I could find my voice to speak Emmett bounded up the stairs. Shit, this _isn't_ gonna be good.

"Took you…" Emmett stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw Jake standing in the bathroom door way. His face turned from its normal "happy go lucky, don't let the size fool you I'm just a giant teddy bear Em", to "I am built like a house, I gonna fuck you up, take no prisoners, Emmett." My big brother is the sweetest most loyal man you will ever meet. He will literally give you the shirt off his back and then buy you a new one. The one thing he will _not_ tolerate is someone _hurting _or_ fucking_ with his family or his friends, especially his baby sister. Jake, unfortunately managed to do both.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?" Emmett yelled. He stalked closer to Jake. Out of instinct, I placed myself in between the two men.

"Em, you need to calm down." I say as soothingly as possible holding my hands up. I can hear multiple footsteps running up the stairs. I groan internally. This is about to get a whole lot worse. In my head I can hear fight announcer, Michael Buffer, yelling "ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?" in my head. No, I am _sooo_ not ready to rumble.

"What the fuck is…" Edward starts his query but as soon as he and Jasper make it up the stairs they do the same thing as Emmett did - stop dead in their tracks and get their "I'm a gonna fuck you up" face on.

"What the FUCK are you doing here?" they yell at the same time moving next to Emmett so they were flanking each side ready to strike. It's natural instinct for those three. Since all of their attention was focused on Jake I don't think they noticed me standing between them.

"You know what, I don't really care why you're here, I want you out!" Emmett growled as he grabbed Jake's arm. Jake tried to yank it free. I knew if I didn't do something fast, there was going to be a real rumble, the day before the Chief's wedding, which would not make him happy. It also wouldn't make him happy if he had to bail his son and the other two yahoos out of jail for assaulting someone in his house.

"EMMETTT STOP!" I yelled. Everyone froze and all eyes were on me.

"Bells, I can fight my own battles," Jacob hissed finally prying lose from Emmett's death grip.

"What the hell Bella? Why are you defending him? Do you not remember what he did to you?" Edward yelled. I couldn't quite place the look on his face. It was a mixture between anger, I just dropped kicked his puppy, confusion, and maybe a hint of betrayal? I thought he knew me better than that? I am a bit confused by his reaction. I know he cares about me and doesn't want to see me hurt again but then is more venom in his voice then there needs to be; mix in the expression on his face, well it leaves me a bit perplexed but now is not the time to dissect the inter-workings of the Edward Cullen mind. All of this is just pissing me off more.

"First, _shut the fuck up_ Jake. And _you_," I point at Edward and looked him square in those beautiful green eyes, sweet Jesus, how is that I am so pissed off right now but have a vagoner at the same time? "What the _fuck_ is wrong with _you_? I probably remember it better than you do! It was _my_ vagina he stuck _his_ penis in and _my_ fucking cherry this asshole popped and it was my heart that broke! Trust me, I remember. What I am _trying _to do is keep the three of you from going to jail the day before Charlie's wedding. Not only will that bring down the wrath of Charlie on your asses but the wrath of Alice as well. Now you three, go down stairs NOW, Jake go put some goddamn clothes on!" With that, I push past Jake, shut the bathroom door, take some much needed deep breaths, and oh yeah did what I had intended on doing when I came up here to begin with.

* * *

><p>When I came out of the bathroom Rose and Alice were standing on each side of the door waiting for me.<p>

"So that was the infamous Jake." Rose said. She looked like she wanted to high five me with one hand and rip his balls off with another.

"I have to say Bells, I'm pretty impressed. He is one hot piece of man meat. To nail that on your first try, Kudos to you. Did you see those abs?" She licked her lips.

"Rose!" Alice scolded. "A little discretion. Did you forget that nice juicy hunk of dark meat stole Bella's most coveted possession, thus turning her into a cynical, cold-hearted, destined to be alone, fuck em' and chuck em', I don't believe in love, Alice stuff like never happens in real life, one step closer to being a cat lady, person?" I swear to God she didn't even breathe when she said that.

"Really, Alice." Queue eye roll.

"You need to learn to breathe when you speak. I swear, I was about to pass out just from listening to you. No, I didn't forget. I never said after I was done enjoying those abs and possibly that ass, I wouldn't grab him by the balls, rip those fuckers off and shove them up his ass…At the very least. She might have a point though." Rose looks at me and shrugs. Do I know my Rosie or what? If I had to choose out of the six of us who not to piss off, it would be Rose. She is one scary bitch.

"Don't you see? If Jacob never, hit it and quit it and loved you like you were meant to be loved you would be a whole other person. You would. You would BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE AND FATE AND SOULMATES!" She was vibrating again.

"Jesus Christ on stale cracker Alice! Well then, thank you Jacob. There is no way I will ever believe in the true love bullshit, love at first site, fate, and while we're at, THERE'S NO SUCH THINGS AS FAIRIES!" I shouted raising my hands above my head.

At first, Alice's face looked as though I had just killed her mother and in my mind I envisioned Mrs. Brandon with fairy wings dropping out of the sky and plummeting to her death. Alice quickly mourned the loss of her fairy mother and moved onto flat out pissed. The look on her face screamed, _you just ruined my Jimmy Choo's bitch! _Rose pressed her lips together trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to stifle a laugh. I glared at her, _not helping Rose._ Ok, I really don't need any more drama so I quickly decided, before Alice had me in a head lock to do damage control.

"I'm sorry Alice. I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES. I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES. I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES." I shouted grabbing Alice and giving her a hug. I kissed her on the cheek and looked at her smiling, "Still not true love, but fairies."

"Ok, I guess I will take what I can get." Alice smiled and was right back to her old self again.

"And on that note, I need a beer or three." Rose announced as she walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Rosalie Hale, it's not even noon yet, you are not drinking. I need you sober for wedding prep." Alice yelled following Rose, leaving me upstairs all alone. I contemplated going straight to my room and shutting the door and pretending I had fallen asleep due to the emotionally exhausting morning but that wouldn't work,

"Says the woman how slipped the hair of the dog in our coffee as well as a complimentary mini bottle." I heard Rose shout from downstairs.

"Please, it was only a drop or two and it was one little bottle, which you already drank, you lush, therefore you have had enough and are being cut off until I say otherwise. Oh look, orange juice."

As I enter the kitchen, Rose is sitting at the table and Alice is pouring three glasses of orange juice. I slide into the chair next to Rose; I have some questions that need to be answered.

"Umm, question? Where did Jake go? Better question, where did the boys go?" I ask. Although I didn't want anything to do with Jake it didn't mean I wanted the boys to tar and feather him or get themselves arrested. Or worse, they beat the shit out of him, he goes back to the rez, gets his friends… yeah I don't want to think about that.

"Stop that pretty little brain of yours. We have them all under control. While Jacob was getting dressed, which was kind of sad, but I digress, I ordered Jazzy, Emmett, and Edward to go straight to Mr. & Mrs. C's and stay put until we got there. Rose called them and gave them a heads up and told Esme to warn them she would staple their balls to their leg if they disobeyed. Since they watched her do that to Jared when he tried to feel her up at last year at the Halloween party, they won't dare.

"And Jake?"

"We made him wait in your old room, that's where he was staying in case you were wondering, until the boys were gone. But before Alice could grill him like a T-bone steak about what he was doing at Charlie's he bolted."

"Yeah, we were outside making sure the boys left the way they were supposed to, when we heard the back door slam and saw Jacob ride off on a motorcycle."

Wow Jacob bailed. Shocker and not even the good kind. Ok, I really just needed some time to wrap my head around what just happened without the peanut gallery here to interject with their color commentary. I needed some Bella time.

"Alright, now that the show is over, why don't you guys go get settled at the Cullen's and check on the boys to make sure they have calmed down. I'll get settled here and will meet you down at the rez in two hours."

"But.." Rose covered Alice's mouth and started pushing her towards the door.

"Come on Alice, let her have her Bella time. You have a wedding to get ready for. Besides, I need to see if I have to bust out the stapler."

"Fine, two hours Bella!" Alice huffed. I'm pretty sure I heard something about a fairy curse being placed on me and my unborn children if I wasn't there when I was told but it was hard to hear behind a closed door.

Finally alone, I lay down on my childhood bed and stared up at the ceiling. It's going to be said when coming home to Charlie doesn't mean coming home to this place. I know they say home is where the heart is, which I guess is somewhat true. To some this house might look small; to me, it was everything. When I finally came to live here with Charlie and Emmett when I was twelve it was the first time I knew I was safe, that I would always be safe. I let a small tear slide down my cheek. That is a demon for another day. Right now I need to deal with Jacob. I take a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth, a cleansing breath or some shit. Alice has started dragging me to yoga classes with her. She says it's good for my psyche or some hippie dippie bullshit.

Honestly I haven't thought about Jacob in a long time. Thinking about the shit things that have happened in my life really isn't my thing. Neither is dealing with all the feelings that go with them. Instead I choose to stuff them in my secret box of unwanted emotions and never deal with them again. Alice says not dealing with my feelings makes me jaded, emotionally detached, and cynical. I say it gives me character and makes me, me. Before I could think anything more my cell vibrated.

"Hey Dad."

"Hey Bells. Ummm I hear you made it into town ok."

"Yep." My dad and aren't real big on verbal communication.

"So…about Jake." Charlie sounded nervous. He should be nervous. I knew, as soon as I saw Jacob standing there in a towel, Charlie knew he was there. He has tried once or twice to talk to me about him over the years. Each time I cut him off and say I am not interested. However I know that, unless Jake had gotten his shit together and turned his life around there is no way in hell he would have been in our house let alone be worth mentioning now and again.

"Yeah, you're welcome. You almost had a huge problem on your hands. The police Chief's son getting arrested for assault would have for sure made the front page news. A little warning would have been nice."

"I know, I'm sorry. He wasn't supposed to be here until tomorrow and Billy already has a house full so I said he could crash at the house. I figured I would have time to tell you and Emmett that he was coming to the wedding today when I saw you. He's changed Bells. He's grown into a great man. You should at least hear him out."

"Have you called Emmett yet?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you first."

"Well thanks for letting me know. I am glad to hear he is doing well."

"Does that mean you'll let him explain?" Let him explain why he broke my heart?

"I don't know. Good luck with Emmett. I will see you in about an hour or so."

I hung up and went back to staring at the ceiling. Am I glad he is doing better? Of course I am. I'm not that heartless. Even if he had ripped a piece of my heart out, I always hoped he would get his life turned back around. Me, more than anyone knew the good that Jacob is able to be in this world. Up until he got mixed up with Sam and his friends, he was the warmest, gentlest person you would ever meet. He was always like my own personal sunshine, bringing light, warmth, and happiness into my life. I won't lie and say that when everything went down I didn't have fantasies of my brother beating the tar out of him, 'cause I did. Deep down, I just wanted the old Jacob to come back.

Dammit! I looked down at my left hand and stared at the right side of my middle finger. The ache started to beat along with the rhythm of my heart. I had discovered when I was young that, when my heart was aching, the right side of the middle finger on my left hand would ache. Jacob Black had been my first love. He had managed to break his way into my then, thinly built wall and get me to love him. Then he turned around and ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. Tears started to sting at my tear ducts. That kids, is my queue to shut the shit down and get a grip because I just don't have time for emotions.

BEEP. BEEP. Saved by the text message.

**Get ur sweet ass ready. I am come'n 2 get u. These plp r drving me fuck'n nuts & I need someone sane.-R**

**If I am ur choice 4 sane than u must hv probs.- B**

**Alicezilla & the 3 muska-idiots, nuf said.-R **

Poor Rose. I wouldn't wish that lot on my worst enemy. Alice is amazing at what she does and this wedding will no doubt be understated, amazing, and beautiful like Sue wanted, but when Alice, who is a force on a good day, is in wedding planner mode…

**Yikes. So what's the plan. We make'n a run for it?- B**

**And risk the wrath of Alice? If she didn't get us the boys wld 4 not taking them with. – R**

**Outside bitch. Let's go I need booze b4 we head back 2 hell.-R**

Such a sweet girl, our Rosie. The booze is a catch 22; IrresponsiBella says drinking will make everything better and the world is made of ice cream and Big hunks. ResponsiBella says last night you drank your weight in tequila, then you joined the cast of Sex In the Apartment and dished about Edward. That was bad enough. Do you really think it's a good idea to drink your weight in, whatever you guys pick, with Jacob on your mind, the house getting sold, Charlie getting married, your vagina crying every time she gets within thirty feet of Edward, and wanting to prove he didn't ruin me on your mind? Decisions decisions. Out the door I go and hop into Alice's car.

"Thank god! You have no idea what you are in store for. Alice is running around like a cracked out decapitated chicken shouting orders. Emmett's pouting because Charlie won't let him "catch up" with Jacob. Edtwat is also pouting but in his patented brooding way. Not only is Jasper pouting, he is also soaking up the emotional backlash of Alice since, as Paul put it, "he is the one who brought the crazy."

"I'm surprised you haven't hit the bottle all ready."

"Alice won't let me touch the wine and I'm gonna need my liver, so there is no way in hell I'm touching that shit they try to pass off as alcohol." Rose cringed.

"Oh God! You mean Hoochshine. Yeah they make it on the reservation and it smells and tastes like rubbing alcohol and gasoline. I tried it once, felt like fire going down my throat. Jake used to say us pale faces didn't have iron livers." I started laughing remembering that night at the bonfire, it was the first night Jacob told me he loved me.

"Exactly, that is why we are making a pit stop at the liquor store and buying us a bunch of those little bottles we can hide in our pockets and bra. A sip here, a chug there, and no one will be the wiser."

"For you maybe. Have you seen the tiny tots lately, they are nowhere near the drug smugglers that yours are." Ok, so we never smuggled drugs in her bra… wait I lied we may have stashed a joint or four a time or two. Rose is, blessed in the chest and one night after a lot of tequila we decided we would see how much stuff we could stuff in Rose's bra and have it still look like nothing was there; a set of keys, two debit cards, a wad of cash, two things of lip gloss, three cell phones strategically placed, and a pack of gum.

"Trust me, I will hide them on you and no one will notice. Placement Bella, it's all about the placement."

"OK, then what about the big factor of what alcohol does to Bella's filter. You want me to drink while being around, Edward, Jacob, Charlie, Emmett, and a bunch of hot men? Do you see a possible slip up happening? Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm still peeing tequila from last night." Ha, beat that argument Rose!

"Filter smilter. We will just stick by each other's side all night and if you start to slip I will be there to stop you. I will protect from yourself. No sweat. I got it." Rose did her best jersey accent and we both started laughing.

"Well I could use a drink or four." IrresponsiBella cheers! _Smart decision, see Rose got's this. Nothing is going to go wrong. Meanwhile, ResponsiBella is just shaking her head. _What can I say, I'm a sucker when it comes to peer pressure. I'd probably jump off a cliff for fun, just 'cause everyone was doing it.

"That's my girl!"

**Rose POV**

Shit, shit, fuck! I cursed myself. I turn my back for one goddamn minute…she's like a little drunk ninja that one. Damn Emmett and that sweet, sweet ass of his.

"E there you are my vagina has been looking all over for you!" I hear Bella yell.

Edward and Jasper both turn toward Bella, with the, _did she just say what I think she said face._

"MB, did you just say…" Before Edward could finish, Emmett rounds the corner. Fuck.

"There you two assholes are, I've been looking everywhere for you. Will you please tell Paul and Embry that I did in fact go into a woman's boutique, strip down to my skivys, buy a dress, put it on and walk out like it was no big thing." He said it so boastful like it was something to be proud of. God, I'm in love with an idiot. At this moment though, I couldn't be happier about that because right now everyone's attention is focused on this big lug and not on his baby sister who is looking at his best friend like he is a piece of meat. Now it's my turn to swoop in and distract them even more because I am pretty sure at least a few of boys heard her vagina comment.

"Bella there you are! I have been looking everywhere for you." I said loudly. I sauntered over making sure all eyes were on me.

"I can't find my lip gloss and need some, can I have some of yours?"

"For you Rose, anything." Bella purred. This is gonna be easy. Before she had a chance to reach into her pocket and grab the lip gloss that I had just seen her put on I grabbed her face and kissed her. I could instantly feel all male eyes on us. Mission accomplished. Bella of course was stunned at first but I think it quickly clicked into place why I did what I did. The kiss didn't last long but long enough to have the effect that it needed. I pulled away and winked at her.

"Thanks."

"No prob. Always here to help a sista out." On that note we both turned and walked away leaving five _very_ stunned guys in our wake.

**BPOV**

Thank God for Rosalie. That could have been bad. _See I told you drinking was a bad idea. _Oh shut up ResponsiBella, one slip up does not account for the end of the world. Besides, Rose stepped in and fulfilled her bodyguard duties like she said she would. Everything is fine. It is not my fault that Edward was looking all fine, flexing his muscles and did I mention looking all fine and shit? I don't know what came over me, it was like my vagina hijacked my body and then my voice box. I was Vagjacked, google it. Stupid Edward Cullen and his magically delicious penis. That is it, I need to get him out of my head STAT!

I look around; there are plenty of hot boys I can have my way with. Rose is off in the corner having a heated discussion with Emmett. If I was a betting man, it has to do with her kissing his sister and in front of other dudes no less! I giggle; I can totally hear him now.

As I scan the room I make eye contact with Embry, a _shirtless _Embry. Well _hello Embry. _He winks at me and I give him my gangster nod which invokes a laugh. Just the response I was looking for. Reel em' in with humor.

**RPOV**

Jesus fucking Christ! I lost her AGAIN! What part of, stay where I can see you, does she not understand? She is like a child! Please don't be with Edward and if you are, please let me find them before anyone else does. I can hear the familiar sound of giggling off in the woods. Ha, proves what kind of ninja she is. I pull out me phone and hit my flashlight app. I've seen enough scary movies to know what happens in the woods. I should be safe, the people having sex usually get sliced and diced first.

I don't have to go far, about five steps in front of me is a shirtless Embry who has Bella pinned up against a tree. One hand is up her shirt and his tongue is down her throat. Jesus, he looks good. What do they put in the water out here?

"So, how do his tonsils taste?" I smirk as I shine the light on them…_busted._

**BPOV**

"I'm sorry Rose. One minute I was fine, the next I was thinking about Edward and his magic penis and how I _will not_ have him ruin me for other men, and then I saw Embry. He winked Rose! A shirtless wink! How could I say no? I had a theory to test out, you know; a point to prove." I huffed as we hiked backed to the bonfire.

"And what point is that exactly?"

"That his penis didn't ruin me for other men!" I said a bit too loudly.

"Who's penis is ruining what? You know what, never mind, I don't need to know, none of my business. I was actually just heading out anyway" Jake said as he started to turn and walk away.

"Jacob wait." I grab his arm hoping that he will stop and we can talk.

"Bella…" Rose warned

"Rose. Where are you headed?" I turn and look at him with a sweet smile.

His face lit up with that smile I used to love. "Actually back to your house to grab my stuff, didn't figure you'd want me there." He shrugged.

"Where are you going to stay?"

"I figured I'd try to crash on one of the guys' couch or if worse comes to worst, camp outside."

"Why don't you just stay at the house - I can stay here and bunk with Leah tonight, give us some sisterly bonding time." With that statement we all stated laughing. My soon to be stepsister Leah was, a little jaded, to put it mildly. "I have to be here early to get ready anyway."

"Really, you would endure Leah overnight for me after everything?" Jacob looked at me a little warily, wondering if it was really Bella he was talking to or if an alien life form had slithered into my ear and hijacked my body and mind. Little did he know, the biggest hijack threat I was fighting was my own vagina.

"Yeah, if Charlie is willing to let you in the house without shooting you, then I figure you probably have turned over a new leaf and maybe even are the Jake I used to know and love" I looked at Rose who was nodding and actually agreeing with me.

I thought I'd seen him smile big before but after that statement Jake's face lit up like one of those houses that blink along to the music at Christmas time. Perhaps it was the five little bottles of alcohol I had consumed, but I could at least hear what he had to say, no harm in that right?

"Why don't you call me when you get to the house and we can talk?" I suggested. That would make everyone happy. I could let Jacob explain why he became a giant asshole who broke my heart, the boys' feathers wouldn't get ruffled by seeing me talk to him in person, and Rose could retire as my bodyguard for the night, for I will be safely tucked away at Sue's.

**Rose POV**

"Where in the hell is she? We have a short timeline and should not be wasting time trying to find her!" Alice screeched at everyone, as we pulled into the Swan's drive way.

"I'll go in and ask Jake if she stopped by the house to grab something this morning. Maybe we are just missing each other. Alice you need to calm down, Jesus Christ it is 7:00a.m., the wedding is not until two! Calm the fuck down!" I get out of the car and jog up to the door. The door isn't locked, because, frankly if you are stupid enough to break into the police chief's house then you are a fucking idiot and belong in jail.

I wonder if Jake sleeps in the nude? Before I make it up two stairs I hear moans and bed squeaking coming from upstairs.

"Yeah baby….ugghhhhh….fuckkk…" Jacob moans

Holy shit! Good ole' Jakey boy is either playing mattress tag or choking his chicken. For a brief perverted moment I contemplated still following through with my plan to go up and ask if he'd seen Bella, but that thought was fleeting and brief. I could possibly be scared for life at what I might walk in on. What if he was banging another dude? That might explain why he did what he did to Bella. None the less I wasn't willing to gamble with my psyche so I decided to get the fuck out.

"So, has he seen her?" Alice asked anxiously.

"Didn't ask. When I walked in I heard the familiar sounds of sex and wasn't willing to Nancy Drew it. Have you tried calling her phone again?"

"What the fuck is the asshole think he is doing FUCKING SOMEONE in my house!" Emmett yelled and was half way unbuckled with the door open when I stepped in his way.

"Emmett Swan, you keep your ass in the car. You remember what Charlie said. If Jacob wants to get his freak on, let the man get his freak on. He isn't harming you or anyone else, except maybe the other person, if they're into that sort of thing."

"I'll try calling her again." Edward said as he grabbed his phone. He had it on speaker, I'm assuming so Alice could yell at her when, if she answered.

"Hello" Bella answered quietly

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!" Alice yelled.

"Umm…hang on just a second." You could tell that Bella had cover the speaker with her hand and there was the faint muffled sound of voices, footsteps, and then the sound of a door opening and closing. At the same time I was hearing this over the phone I also heard the front door of Charlie's house open and close quietly. Out of the corner I saw movement on the front porch. No way…

Since I was the only one outside of the vehicle and all eyes and ears were pointed at Edward's phone no one else had realized that Bella was standing out on the front porch with her back to the yard, wrapped in a purple bed sheet and had sex hair. Her phone was to her to her ear. This moment was brief and fleeting.

"OK, sorry." Bella said, which not only came through the phone but from a short distance away, on the porch. This fact did not go unnoticed by the others in the vehicle. As the heads sprang up Bella turned and was now looking straight at us.

Minus myself, a chorus of, "WHAT THE FUCK?" rang out into the morning sky. Bella closed her eyes and muttered something that looked like fuck. Fuck is right, you my dear, just dropped a bomb. If I wasn't going to have to deal with the repercussions we all know is coming and could be an innocent bystander, I would have started laughing my ass off, went over and high-fived her skanky, sheet clad ass.

"Found me…" Bella said while half-heartedly laughing knowing that at any moment a shit storm was about to erupt.

**A/N - What just happened? Bella, Bella, Bella, what did you do? How did she get to her house when she suppose to be having a sleep over with Leah? She really needs to start thinking with her other head, the one on her shoulders, before her vagina gets her into more trouble. How do you think everyone is going to react? Better question, how do you think Edward is going to react? **

**So some of this chapter is happened in real life- can you guess what it is? I am interested to know what you think is real. Lay it on me. Please review I love reading them- they make me giddy with joy!**

**xozo- HB**


	8. Chapter 8

**We meet again. Alas I was not off fighting zombies this time, I was just really goddamn busy. If you follow me on the twitter, you will have seen some of the art work I was working on. Anywho, I am back and I do apoligize for leaving you hanging. Thank you for all of you who alerted me and my story, it makes me soooo happy! **

**As always I wanna thank my BFF Kimmie for making look better than I actually am (you can probably tell by my A/N that she doesn't proof read that I fail at grammar, lol). I aslo want to send MAJOR hugs and love to my Wonder Twin JRDurham for being my ultimate cheerleader. **

**BTW I you haven't figured it out all ready I don't own Twilight. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 8**

"Found me…" I say while half- heartedly laughing. I knew the moment I saw I had 10 missed calls that I was in for some trouble, especially since I was supposed to be at Sue's with Leah and I am so clearly not. I already had a lie prepared- I couldn't sleep, so I got up early grabbed my stuff then headed to the meadow for some quiet Bella time before the entire wedding hullabaloo started. What I didn't see coming was _this_. Fuck Bella, _this_ is not good. You wrapped in a sheet on the front porch looking guilty, not _good_ at all.

Ok, as I see it, I have three options here; walk to the car and act like I am not wrapped in a sheet, stand where I am and wait for them to come to me - which wouldn't be too much longer, or turn around and go back in the house. I take a step back and retreat into the house. What? I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. As I lean against the closed front door, trying to figure out my next move I can hear the muted voices from outside.

"I am going to fucking kill him!" Emmett bellowed.

"Not if I get to him first." That sounded like Edward. Shit.

"The hell you will, keep your asses in the car. We will handle this." That was Alice.

That would be my cue. I stepped aside and opened the door, hiding behind it. In walks Alice and Rose, closing the door behind them.

"Spill." They said in unison.

"Ummm…well funny story really. You're gonna laugh." I say chewing on my bottom lip.

Before I could explain a shirtless Jake came bounding down the stairs.

"Morning ladies." Jacob had this huge smile on his face as he walked passed us to the kitchen. _Not helping Jake, not helping._

Both Alice and Rose looked at me with raised eyebrows. All I could do was shrug. "You were saying." Rose said.

"Right - so after you guys left I went to Sue's like I said to hang with Leah." I run my hands through my messy hair. I open my mouth to continue, when I was interrupted by a shirtless Embry walking sluggishly down the stairs. As he passed us on his way to the kitchen he smirked at me, " _Bella_. Ladies." He then grabbed the orange carton that Jake was currently chugging from. There are now two half-naked men sitting at my father's kitchen table. Rose and Alice's mouths dropped open as they looked at them then back at me. _Fuck, this is not good. _

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN you dirty little whore, what the fuck did you do last night?" Alice said squealed.

"I…it's not what it looks like." I stammer.

"Really, cause where I'm standing it looks like you had a threesome with the two tall and tan studlies in there." Rose quipped.

"Do you have to be so noisy in the morning Alice? Jesus, tone that shit down!" Leah says as she makes her way down the stairs. She is wearing a black wife beater and her underwear, her hair is all over the damn place. She doesn't stop to get an answer, just heads into the kitchen with the boys.

"Geez, these stairs are getting a lot of action this morning." I muttered.

"Scratch that, you were having a goddamn orgy. I know you were all about making sure Eddie boy didn't ruin you for all other penises but I thought for sure you'd space that experiment out some and only with dicks not bitchy ass chicks about to be your sister." Rose said pointing at the kitchen.

"An _**OR-**__gy_?" I start to yell then drop to a whisper. "What the fuck are you… get your mind out of the gutter, both of you. Let's go upstairs so I can put some actual clothes on and I will explain everything. Shall we?" I hoist up my sheet and make my way up to my old bedroom.

As soon as we get to the safety of my bedroom, behind a closed door, I change into some sweats and a tank much to Alice's dismay. "Don't look at me like that, I'm gonna be in a damn dress and all dolled up soon. Lay off Tink."

"So, _Bella Jameson_, let's hear about how you ended up in an orgy with your step-sister, ex-boyfriend, and shirtless wink boy." Rose said, laughing.

"It's like 'As Bella Turns' up in here." Alice quipped. Her and Rose fell over on my bed laughing.

"Oh Sweet Jesus! I did not have a fucking orgy! Do you two not know me at all? Do really think I would have sex with three people at the same time!"

"OK, you're right, we are sorry. No, we really don't think you would have sex with three people at once." Rose said.

"Two maybe, but not three." Alice said and then they started laughing again.

Beep. I look down at my phone. Four new text messages:

**Have you LOST ur mind! - E**

**WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!- Emmett**

**I am NOT big enough to stop Em and E for too much longer. U don't want me mark my pretty face do u?- txt me- Jaz**

**I SWEAR TO GOD BELLA, IF I DON"T HEAR BACK FROM U in 2 MIN, I AM COMING IN THERE & CRACK'N SKULLS- Emmett**

Shit, I text back.

**There will be NO crack'n skulls. Don't get ur man thong in a bunch. We will be out in a few min. STAY IN THE CAR! -** **Bella**

"Do you two, wanna know what happen or are you just gonna keep up the whore jokes?"

"Sorry Whoradonna, proceed." Rose said, sweeping her arm across her chest. I shot her a dirty look.

"So after you guys left, Leah and I had a few more drinks. Once you get some liquor in her she is actually not too bad to hang out with. Anyway, we got on the subject of boys and I may have mentioned that a certain lady part of mine was mad at me because she missed a certain someone's amazing boy part, but I am determined to prove that he did not ruin me for other men. Then she blurts out that she is in love with Jake and they have been seeing each other but no one knows yet."

"What?" They said in shocked unison

"Yeah, I was a little shocked to say the least. They used to hate each other but sometimes that hatred can emit sparks I guess. She went on to tell me how much he's changed and how he regrets everything that happened between us and would give anything to explain and maybe someday be able to be friends with me. I say ok, I give him a call. He explains, and before you ask, I will tell you later. He then convinces Leah to find Embry and drive us. As soon as we get here, Jake and Leah go off together and leave me and Embry alone. He may have made it to 2nd base, almost 3rd. The entire time I was sucking face with Embry, fucking Edward kept popping into my head. Before it got too far I started to feel sick. I threw up, some in my hair, so I took a shower and then just fell into bed and passed out. The End."

"So you didn't have sex with Jake?" Alice asked.

"God no. Why the hell would you think that?"

"When I came in to see if Jake had seen you, I heard sex noises. Now I'm guessing it was Jake and Leah?"

"Probably. Those two have been humping like rabbits. It's a bit disturbing, my "sister" and my ex. It's a little bit on the uncomfortable side for me but they are happy, I'm not gonna spoil that."

Then Edward and Emmett's comments suddenly popped back into my head. "Ohhh… oohhh my God. That's why the boys are so pissed; they think I slept with Jake! Well shit. Do you guys have that little faith in me? After the last/first time, he won't be riding this pony again."

"Well I am sorry but what do you expect us to think. You're off on your drunken mission last night, I walk in and hear Jake having sex, then you pop up on the door step in nothing but a sheet with what looked like fuck me hair."

"Even if I did sleep with Jacob, it is really none of their business and for them to get their panties in a bunch kinda pisses me off."

"They just want to protect you. Don't want to see you get hurt like last time." Rose pointed out.

"Well maybe Emmett and Jasper do, Edward I think has a different reason." Alice said.

"For the last time Alice, Edward doesn't like me like that."

"Oh contraire my little Bella Boo, you were not in the car with him and did not see his initial reaction before he covered it up with best friend slash big brother mask. He was jealous." Alice said, looking very smug.

"I think you are seeing things and if you keep it up, I'm going to ban romantic comedies and stage an intervention. Now, don't we have a wedding to get ready for?" I jump up from my rocking chair and say with extra enthusiasm.

"Yes, we do so let's get a move on! Since you have decided to make yourself a hot mess I'm gonna have to work extra hard to make you look beautiful." Alice shooed us out of my bedroom and down the stairs.

When we get down stairs we find Leah on the kitchen counter with Jake in between her legs practically dry humping and Embry at the kitchen table eating a giant bowl of cereal ignoring them.

"Good God you two, people eat in the kitchen! Jake quit humping Leah's leg like a dog. All of you, get dressed - I expect you to be 10 minutes behind us. We have a wedding to get ready for people, MOVE IT!" Alice yelled snapping her fingers. The three of them stood at attention, saluted and headed up the stairs.

When we got in the car I was met with icy glares and cold shoulders. "Morning." I said quietly. Silence. Really, not even a good morning. I could be the bigger person and just tell them truth about what happened but now they are just pissing me off acting like petulant children. Fine, I can play that game too. I can't believe they think I slept with Jake! I mean, yeah I get what Rose was saying but to give me the cold shoulder and not even yell or let me explain! That just pisses me the fuck off.

So there we sat in silence until Alice couldn't take it anymore. "So, Bella is there anything you wanna say…"

"Yeah, it's a bit _chilly _in here." I said.

"Whose fault is that?" Edward snapped.

"Certainly not mine." I shot him a dirty look.

"Well it certainly wasn't Alice or Rose lying on their backs…"

"EDWARD!" Rose yelled cutting him off before he could finish whatever degrading comment he was about to make.

"That is rich coming from you. You're the biggest manwhore I know. It's a bit of a double standard don't you think?" I was getting so angry I could feel the tears start to sting my eyes.

"Oh look we're here. Boys to Billy's, Girls to Sue's" Alice said cutting off the rapidly escalating conversation. Before I could hear anything else I was out of the car and into Sue's house.

**EPOV**

I don't know what this feeling is but I'm so angry right now I could just fucking punch something; preferably Jacob's face. I can't believe after everything he did to her, she would just jump right back into bed with him! What the fuck was she thinking? I felt a smack upside my head.

"What the fuck?" I turn around and see Rosalie and Alice staring daggers at me, Emmett, and Jasper.

"You know what assholes, I would start practicing your groveling now if I were you. Especially you, Dickward." Rose said as she turned around and walked away.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Emmett asked.

"No clue." We started walking down to Billy's to get ready.

"I might have an idea." Jasper said pointing at the car parked in front of Billy's. Leaning against it was Jake making out with some….chick?

"Is that Leah?" I ask all sorta confused.

"Holy shit, I thought for sure after the whole Sam thing, she turned into a angry, man hating lesbo." Emmett chimed in. "Get a room, preferably one that's not my dad's this time asshat."

"You know what Emmett, just because your dad is gonna marry my mom just mean I'm opposed to kicking your ass." Leah hissed, getting in Emmett's face.

"Real classy, letting your woman fight your battles for ya, Black." Emmett chuckled.

"Fuck you, Swan. I apologized to Bella so why don't you just let it go?" Jake said pulling Leah back. Just then, Charlie stepped out of the house.

"There a problem here?" He asked, in his chief voice.

"No Chief Dad, just telling my soon to be sister here how excited I am that she isn't a lesbian and that she finally found true love with my man Jake." Emmett said with a big grin on his face and waved goodbye to Leah and patted Jake on the back.

Leah went to lunge after Emmett but Jacob held her back and whispered something in her ear then gave her a quick kiss. She huffed then stomped off towards her house.

"All right then; we better start getting to it. Alice left specific instructions and I sure as hell do not want to piss that girl off." Charlie huffed as he went back in the house.

As we were walking inside I turned to Jasper, "so if Bella didn't sleep with Jake, who the hell did she sleep with?"

He shook his head, "Don't know, what's it matter to you?"

"That's a good question." I mutter.

"Perhaps, jealous?" Jasper said smirking at me.

"No, why the fuck would _I_ be jealous? I'm just curious. You can't tell me you don't want to know how she ended up on the front porch in only a sheet?" I pointed out. Jealous, ha! Edward Cullen does not get jealous; we agreed that it never happened and that we would remain friends.

"Riggghhhht. When is the last time you hooked up?" Jasper asked

"I don't know. What is your point? I've been busy. I fully intended on hooking up tonight though. I mean, come on, a wedding is always prime hunting for desperate single ladies looking to hookup." I wagged my eyebrows up and down.

Jasper laughed, "Whatever man, good luck." Besides, I need to make sure Bella didn't ruin me for other women.

**BOV**

The wedding was a success. It was simple, yet elegant. As crazy as Alice gets no one could ever doubt her ability. I have never seen my dad happier than he was saying his vows to Sue. I may have even gotten a little misty.

"I am so happy for you, dad. If anyone deserves a happily ever after it's you." I said giving him a big hug.

"Thanks Bells, that means a lot to me. I have to say I'm pretty damned happy." He smiled, giving Sue a kiss.

"I also couldn't ask for a better stepmom." I said, hugging Sue.

"Thank you, Bella." She said smiling.

At that moment Emmett swooped in, grabbed Sue, lifted her off her feet and twirled her around giving her a big bear hug.

"Welcome to the family Mom!"

"Dammit boy put her down." Charlie said letting out a low chuckle. He was trying to be stern but he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Thank you, son." Sue said laughing as Emmett put her back on the ground.

"You'll have to excuse my brother, as you know he is an acquired taste. You may have known him his whole life but now that you're family you are on a whole other level. I said laughing."

"He responds to violence." Rose chimed in. "A smack upside the head should get your point across, if it don't, threaten him with me." She said with a wink. God bless Sue, she just started laughing, "Got it."

"You guys and violence. Aren't you gonna do something about that Dad? I would like to file an abuse claim or something." Emmett said, pouting.

"Why? It works. If it ain't broke don't fix it." Charlie said laughing. "Now if you'll excuse, I'm gonna dance with my bride." With that, he took Sue off to the dance floor.

"Aww look how cute they look." Rose said. "And Charlie be looking _gooood_ in that suit." She and Alice both licked their lips.

"God you two!" I said smacking both of them.

"Rosie! Stop drooling over my pops and come dance with your man: after all I do get my dashing good looks from him." Emmett grabbed Rosalie and dragged her to the dance floor.

"I may not have to gotten my good looks from Charlie but I'm still good lookin, Darlin." Japer's said as he winked at Alice. "Now stop your drooling woman, it's disturbing and dance with me." Off they went, leaving me alone. I grabbed a water, yeah I figured I had enough alcohol to last me for at least a week or two and sat down at a table. I wasn't alone for long though. I look around for an empty table. I don't really feel up like conversing with anyone.

"So Jake and Leah…" Edward said as he sat down next to me.

"Yep."

"Look, MB I'm sorry…" Edward huffed. He stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose. He tends to do that when he gets frustrated. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Whatever, it's fine. Apology accepted ok? I really don't feel like getting into this here." I really didn't - I wanted to stay in a somewhat happy mood for my dad. This was his day and I didn't want my drama ruining it.

"Fine. How 'bout a dance, then?" Edward said holding out his hand.

"You want _me_, to dance, _sober_?"

"Come on MB, everybody's doing it." He flashed me his panty dropping smile. I swear to god I heard my naughty bits shout, do it woman do it! Damn him and that smile.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine but don't blame me if you get injured." I grab his hand and as soon as I do, electric current like flows between us. What the fuck. This is not happening. For a brief second we both stop and look at each other wondering if the other just felt it. I could feel myself start to blush so I look away. God dammit, this cannot be happening.

He leads me to the dance floor and as soon as we do the song changes to something slow. REALLY! That is not cliché _at all_. He places his left hand on my hip but even though I am trying to keep a safe distance our bodies seem to pull towards each other. My whole body is all tingly and it's begging me to get closer. It literally takes everything thing I have not to press my body up against his. This is pure torture.

"May I cut in?" Before I could object, Emmett grabs me and hoists me up onto his feet like he used to do when I was little. Well compared to him, I am still little.

"I owe you an apology lil sis. It is none of my business who you…do laundry with. Whether, it's with some guy who broke your heart in a million pieces or some other skadouche bag. You are a grown woman and you can make your own choices, good or bad." Emmett said with his puppy dog eyes and apology smile. "Forgiven?"

I laugh, how can I say no to that face? "Forgiven. You know I can't stay mad at my big brother and thank Rose for her excellent speech."

"I am hurt" he clutched his heart, "that speech came from the heart."

"Sure it did."

"Ok, maybe Rosie helped a bit and added a few things too. She used some rather vulgar words I would prefer not to think of my baby sister ever doing so I had to do a little revising"

"I figured as much."

"Ok, Bella hog, it's my turn." Jasper swooped in and twirled me around as the next song started to play.

"Bells."

"Jaz."

"I am sorry Darlin, from the bottom of my heart."

"What, no speech from Alice?"

"I got one, but I decided short, sweet and my pretty face would suffice." He grinned.

I could help but laugh. "I accept from the bottom of my heart. I don't know how much the pretty face helped though, I'm rather immune." I smiled and gave him a big hug. Even though, they are pains in my ass, they mean well and I love them.

"Well, now all you have apologized so we can move on." I sighed.

"Me and Emmett maybe, but I think you and Edward still have so issues to resolve."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh I think you do. You should have seen you two dancing. You both were stiff as a board, looking everywhere but at each other. It was almost like when they forced us into ballroom dancing classes in high school, the only difference is the sexual tension between you two you could cut with a knife." He stated, looking at me pointedly.

"There is no sexual tension. You are spending too much time with Alice." I said shaking my head.

"May I cut in?" I look up and see Embry looking hopeful. For someone who is as uncoordinated as myself and who doesn't like to dance, I sure as hell have been doing a lot of it tonight.

"You're a popular girl. Go get em' tiger." Jasper whispered and kissed me on my cheek. "She's all yours. I'll warn you though, she has two left feet."

"I think I can manage." He smiled as he twirled me around. I started laughing. "Light as a feather and pretty as dove."

"Awww do you say that to all the girls?" I said, still laughing.

"Naw, only the ones, who will find it funny and charming."

"I see. Funny I get, I don't know if I go as far as charming." I winked

"So, I don't know how much fun you had yesterday but I had fun hanging out with you. I forgot how funny and down to earth you are."

"The alcohol probably helped. My inner standup comic comes out. She's a hoot. I had fun too. Who knew you were such a good kisser?"

"Oh I did." He smirked. "We should do it again some time."

"Makeout in the woods or in my old childhood bedroom?" I say sarcastically.

He laughs, "No, hang out. Not that I wouldn't be opposed to kissing you again." Huh, did Embry just asked me out on a date? It's been awhile since I've been on an actual date, date. Why the hell not.

"I'd like that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Sweet, Friday sound good to you?"

"Friday sounds great."

"I don't want to alarm you but we are being watched. If looks could kill I would be good and dead right now." He whispers in my ear.

When he turns me around I can see Emmett, Jasper, are giving Embry the stink eye and Edward is staring daggers. What is wrong with those three?

"Ignore them, I usually do." I roll my eyes.

When the song was over he walked me back to my table, leaving his hand on the small of my back.

"Well, thank you for the dance Pretty Bella and I will see you Friday." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"See you Friday." I grinned.

"What's Friday?" Alice asked even though I pretty sure she already guessed the answer.

"My date with Embry." I said nonchalantly.

"Anybody need a drink? I need I drink." Edward said gruffly. Without waiting for an answer, he got up from the table abruptly and went straight for the bar. I watched him walk away with a confused look on my face. What the hell is that all about? I look at Jasper who just rolls his eyes and shrugs while Alice is mouthing the word jealous over and over. I shoot her a dirty look.

"Looks like Eddie boy needs to get laid. He's getting a tad crabby." Emmett chuckled.

"Let him go off and brood. Back to the topic at hand, Bella scored a date with hot shirtless winker. Although I must say he looks _pretty good_ with clothes on too." Rose says, wagging her eyebrows. Emmett elbows her.

"Oh please, like you don't comment on hot pieces of ass all the time. As long as there is no touching there shouldn't be a problem." Rose rolled her eyes at him.

"We have to start planning what you're gonna wear. How you're gonna do your hair." Alice was bouncing up and down in her chair.

"How 'bout you save the girlie date talk for the ride back?" Jasper suggested.

**EPOV**

Seriously, it's bad enough that I have to listen to the Bobbsy Twins go on about her making out with the guy; I'm not sticking around to hear about their upcoming date. What does she see in that guy anyway? He's too tall for her, he practically towers over her. Plus he's Jacob's friend, total violation of the bro code, you just don't go out with your friends ex's. It's just wrong. I need a fucking drink.

"Anybody need a drink? I need I drink." I said gruffly. I don't stick around for anyone's answer. There only thing I will be bringing back to the table is a piece of ass, after I get a drink.

God dammit! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the fuck do I care who she kisses or goes on date with? Get you shit together Cullen. You've been off your game and tonight's the night you hit a home run.

"Jack on the rocks." I say as I scan for my target. About two people to the left of me is none other than Miss Amber Anderson. I give her a quick once over. She hasn't changed a bit, always trying to look younger than she really is. Jesus, her black dress looks like she painted it on and she is wearing a bit too much make up for my liking, and her blonde needs a bit of touching up. The look screams desperate. Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner! Easy picking, especially for me. I slam down the rest of my drink and stalk over to my prey.

"Why Miss Anderson aren't you looking lovely as ever." I purr giving her, as Bella calls it, my panty dropping smile.

"Ohh..a.. Edward, thank you. Aren't you sweet." She stutters and blushes. Hook line and sinker. She looks a little rough up close, nothing a few more drinks won't fix. Now I just have to reel her in so I can erase Bella from my mind.

**BOV**

"Look at my boy over there, he moves quick." Emmett said looking all proud.

I glance over at the bar and see Edward, giving his best panty dropping smile to some bleach blond who looks as though she was painted in her dress. I can't see her face but I can only imagine. Rose and Alice look over at me gauging my reaction. I just look at them and roll my eyes.

"20 bucks says he closes the closes the deal in 15." Emmett said slapping a 20 on the table.

"I will take that bet Compadre' and say he closes in 10, because if I am not mistaken that backside belongs to Ms. Anderson and she has been after our boys junk since before he was legal." Jasper smirks slapping his 20 next to Em's.

"Are you talking about Ms. Anderson, the clerk who works at the police station with Charlie?" Rose said in disgust.

"The one and only." Emmett grinned

"First, how do you know by looking at her ass and second, isn't she like 50! She could be is mother!" Alice shrieked.

"I only know because I saw her from the front early when she came and said hello. It's hard not to forget a 55 year old woman in a skin tight black dress."

"55, that's just gross. What the hell is the boy thinking? Scratch that, clearly his other brain has taken over. What a dipshit." Rose said shaking her head.

"Hey, now Rosie, cougars need love too."

Really Ms. Anderson! My stomach feels all twisted up in knots. After all these years dodging her attempts and going on about there being an age limit… Why am I so mad? Who cares if he wants to stick his dick in some old hag's vagina? Certainly not me. We are just friends, besides I made out with Embry and we have a date Friday. I'm fine, let him have his Desperately Seeking Cougar. I take a giant swig of water. I am so glad this weekend is almost over.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Well what did you think? *hides under a blanket* Who thought Bella had sex with Jacob at the end of the last chapter? Fooled ya! Why on earth would she do that? For those of you who are not porn savy, the name Bella Jameson is a play off of Jenna Jameson the famous porn star. I think both these kids are floating down the river denial, i don't know about you. **

**Up next is Bella's date- any request on what they should do? Better question, how did E do wih his cougar? Please review, I love hearing your thoughts. Thank you again for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my pretties! Did ya miss me? I missed you! I just want to take a moment and say how much I LOVE the fanfiction community. I love getting to read amazing works that people are brave enough to share with the world. I love the readers who take the time to read what my crazy brain spits out on paper and those who take the time to review, even if their opion differs from mine- that's what makes us unique and special! I love that I get to meet new people from all over and bond over our love of books, t.v. shows and movies. The written word is such a POWERFUL tool. It can build you up, in some cases tear yopu down. It can comfort you when you are alone, scared, and sad. It can make you feel good about yourself and make you feel proud to be you. It reminds you that, no you are not alone, there are people out there just like you. It can be a friend. It should never stiffled or banned. It should be celebrated! So THANK YOU to all you writters and readers, you make the world an AMAZING place to live. **

**I wanna say thank you to my awesome and amazing Wonder Twin, JRDurham (whom I met through FANFICTION!) for prereading and helping me iron it all out! Also a HUGE thanks to bff Kimmie for making me sound better and somewhat edumacated, lol. **

**P.S. I don't own Twilight, just the voices in my head (let me tell ya, there's a lot)**

**ENJOY!**

**Ch 9**

**EPOV**

"I'll be right back. Mamma's gonna change into something more comfortable." She purrs as she heads into what I assume is her bedroom. Did she call herself mamma? I groan as I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. The couch feels like it is moving… Fuck I am drunk. I probably could have done without that last shot of tequila. I'm pretty sure Ms. Anderson plan was to get me drink…I mean drunk. Perhaps to distract from the fact that up close she is starting to look a bit like worn leather with makeup on. What was I thinking…? Ms. Anderson… Bella…off my game…

"Ughhh… god that feels…." In my mind I see Bella big brown eyes looking up at me while my cock goes in and out her sweet mouth. "Fuck" I grit through my teeth.

"Does Baby boy like it when Mamma puts his big delicious cock in her mouth?"

What the fuck…Bella did not just say Baby Boy… I can see her lips moving but that voice sounds nothing like her.

"Mamma likes sucking off her baby boy." She coos, talking to me like I was a baby. She bats her eyelashes and goes back to blowing me.

Mamma? Sucking off her Baby boy? This is all sorts of wrong. What kinda of fucked up dream is this? I start to lift my heavy eyelids. The room starts to come into focus… some. I look down and see a bleach blond head of hair bobbing up and down sucking my cock. Holy shit! I start freaking out because I've woken up in some strange place with some woman giving me a bj! Before I can push myself up off the couch, blue eyes look up at me…fuck, Ms. Anderson.

The evening's events start coming back to me. Bella dancing with Embry and then announcing her date. Drinking heavily at the wedding. Needing to get Bella out of my head. Spotting Ms. "call me Amber" Anderson and picking her up. Well that worked out well… FUCK… ok Cullen focus, Amber not Bella. Amber… fuck whatever she is doing with her tongue feels sooo good

"Uh, that feels good…" She looks up at me again and I can see her face better. Wow, even with Alco Goggles she looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet. That's fine, not like we haven't taken one for the team and done a couple Two-Baggers before. The best defense is to hit it from behind, push her face in pillow. Okay, I can't push her into a pillow since she's hoovering my cock…think, think. Yes…just need to pretend she is someone else, like… Heidi Klum. YES, okay Cullen, you can do this! I close my eyes again and pretend its Heidi.

"Oh God, that feels so…" She takes me so deep that I'm hitting the back of her throat... "Fuck, yes…" I feel her push me on my back and her weight shifts on top of me. She is still sucking away but then…I open my eyes in time to see, an orange ass and a ton of pink leopard and fur coming straight at my face! The smell of sweaty vagina starts to permeate my senses. OH FUCK NO! I put my hands up and grab her thighs and push her forward to stop her attack on my face.

"What are you doing?" I pretty sure my voice conveyed the panic and slight disgust I was feeling.

She turned her head and looked around her ass. "Awww be a good Baby Boy and lick Mamma's pussy." She said in that damn baby voice again.

"Uh, I feel a cold sore coming on. Don't want to give you herpes. True life fact." Seriously, is she pouting? Keep pouting honey, not gonna happen. Not that I have or ever get cold sores cause I do not, but Emmett did date a girl who would get them and he kept that mouth far on the opposite end. Emmett's over share is my gain.

"How bout we just skip the foreplay and get right to it." I managed to choke out. She got me all good and worked up plus I still have some much needed aggression to work out.

I reach in my pants pocket and grabbed the condom that I had brought "Never leave home without it!"

"You ready for the ride you will never forget? " She purred in my ear.

"How bout you turn around." I say trying to turn her around.

"Oh no Baby Boy, Mamma wants to hop on top of the big dick and ride you like a pony' Before I could protest she straddled and lowered herself on me.

"That's right, Mamma likes that." Her rhythm quickened: up down, up down.

"Baby Boy like that?"

"Uggh." I muter in my drunken haze.

"I said, does Baby Boy like that?" She yelled aggressively yanking on my hair.

"Uggh yes."

"Say YES MAMMA! Say it!" She barked as she is rapidly bouncing up and down on my cock. The look on her face says, fucking say it or I'll rip your balls off.

"Yes, Mamma." I that was good enough cause she doesn't look like she wants to castrate me anymore. She resumes her jerky bouncing. If she keeps going like that she's gonna break him. I close my eyes and send words of encouragement to Rico, 'hang in there boy'!

"Good…boy…Oooooo…OOOOOO… AAAAAAAWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO"! She howls and then bites down hard on my neck.

"WHAT THE FUCK! Did you just bite me?" I yell. This bitch is crazy.

"Oh, don't be like that, Come on; Mamma's Baby Boy liked that." Fuck, and we're back to the baby voice again. She reaches up and pinched my cheeks, "Come one… you know Mamma's Baby boy liked that. Mamma's gonna go get some toys to play with…." She climbed off me and tried to saunter away. She looked back at me over her shoulder and winked… "I'll be _right _back."

TOYS! OH HELL NO! I don't even want to know and I swear to God I just sobered up. I grab my phone and shot a fast as lightning txt to Emmett.

**Code 5- crazy cougar. Mayday, danger Will Robinson. COME GET ME!- E**

I throw on my boxers, scoop up the rest of my shit and bolt out the door. I can only imagine what people would say if they saw Edward Cullen running down the street in his skivvies. Fuck, I dropped a shoe. Screw it, I don't need it. As soon as I'm at least 2 blocks away, my phone beeps.

**Location Cougar Meat? - Em **

I am never gonna hear the end of this.

**Meet me at the park- E **

**OMG…this is gonna be good Cougar Chow- EM**

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I can just hear him now.

**PARK! Hurry! - E**

Good thing the park isn't far from here, two maybe three blocks. I just pray that no one has seen me and called the cops because there's a half-naked man running around the neighborhood. That is all I need. I would have a hard time trying to explain this to The Chief. Yeah, I was fucking your clerk and she turned out to be a FREAK.

As I'm crossing the street to the park I hear someone cat calling. I turn around and see Jasper hanging out the passenger window of Emmett's SUV.

"Hay ba-by. Hay there, looking good. How much for one night?" Jasper hollers as they pull up beside me. I can't see Emmett but I can hear him laughing.

"Don't bother, you couldn't afford me." I stop and try to get in the car. Before I could get in, Emmett steps on the gas.

"Goddammit" I mutter under my breath. I run to catch up. I get up to the car and glare at Jasper. Not that he was paying attention because both he and Emmett are doubled over laughing. This time, the car stays still.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up fuckers." Personally I don't find this funny. Now in the safety of the car I get dressed.

"Dude! You know if the roles were reversed you would be doing the same thing." Jasper said with a raised eyebrow.

Ok, he does have a point, I would. In fact Emmett has been the source of many jokes due to his crazy antics. Ms. Cope comes to mind…

"First off, I just wanna say, this is AWESOME! I thought watching Chief Dad get hitched was the highlight of the weekend. This is soooo much better" Emmett said laughing, again. I flipped him off

"No thanks, as pretty as you are, I don't swing that way. Second, how in the _hell_ did you end up running down the street in your BVDs?"

"It's… a long story. I'm still drunk and tired as hell. Can we not talk about it right now?" I sigh, I doubt that's gonna happen but a guy can hope.

"No can do Cub. We didn't come rescue you from the claws of a crazy cougar just to be nice. We need deets."

I run my hands through my hair. "There is just so much where do I start…"

"How bout why you picked her up in the first place. If memory serves, you had once stated and I quote, "If over the age of 40, you must be an 8 or higher in order to ride this ride." Emmett said doing his best impression of me.

"Yeah and I had the pleasure of talking to Ms. Anderson at the reception. She might have been attractive when we were teenagers but she is looking a tad…_rough." _Jasper said. He is always the nicer of us three.

"If by rough you mean, starting to resemble leather, then yes, more than a tad rough I'm afraid. Up close is not pretty."

"Dude, why the hell did you go with a 2 a. when you had plenty of time to hook up one of the rez chicks?" Emmett asked confused. Normally he's right, I usually scout out the territory, spot 2-3 girls that are hot and begin to make my moves. If you don't catch one then you move on to the other until you reel one in. 2 a. 's are a last ditch effort. What I can't tell him is that ever since I had sex with _his sister, _I can't get her out of my head and I have completely lost my mojo. Yeah, can't say that. Nor can I say, the thought of your sister with another man makes me want to beat down the first guy I see. Nope, can't say that either.

"I was in a funk and needed a quick mojo boost. She was an easy target and I was drunk." I shrugged. I can only see the back of Jasper's head but I know what he is thinking…so I punched the back of his seat.

He started laughing. "Was it worth it? Did it work?"

"No and no. I think I actually might be scared for life. Pretty sure my mojo has retreated and is now cowering in a corner afraid to ever come out again."

"OK, enough with the why, move on to the action." Emmett, always impatient.

"So, we get to her house and she says she's going to slip into something more comfortable and to have a seat on the couch."

"Did she pull a Varsity Blues?"

"No, thank god."

"Honestly I couldn't tell you what she was wearing really. All I remember is pink leopard, fur, and orange ass coming at my face." I shiver at the memory.

"Playing a little tickle the kitty with your tongue, _nice." _Emmett said smiling.

"OH GOD NO! She was sucking me off and the next moment she's trying to pull a quick 69'r. I stopped that shit quick."

"What! Why did you do that, 69 is like the best foreplay ever! Sometimes when me and Rosie do it I pick her up by the waist so she's hanging upside down, my dick in her mouth, her hands on my thighs and my face buried labia first lapping up the sweet, sweet.."

"JESUS CHRIST EM!" Jasper yelled cutting him off.

"What? Stop being a little pussy prude."

"Being a prude and not wanting to know how Rose tastes are two TOTALLY different things. TMI dude, TMI." Jasper said shaking his head. I would have to agree with that statement, I mean, she is pretty much our sister. I could see Emmett roll his eyes in the mirror while I sat there shuddering.

"Sorry Eddie, you left off at her orange ass trying to sit on your face."

"It smelled like 55 year old sweaty, desperate vagina. There was no way in hell I was sticking my face anywhere near that shit."

Both of them started chuckling. "Who knew Ms. Anderson had a gritty kitty?"

"Was she pissed? A lot of ladies do not appreciate one way foreplay."

"She started pouting and said something about being a good boy for Mamma. I told her I felt a cold sore coming on and didn't want to give her herpes."

The chuckles have upgraded to flat out laughing. "Mamma?" Jasper asked between breaths.

"Aha! See, you guys totally undervalue me. I am a wealth of sexual knowledge and that proves it. You would NEVER have known that if it wasn't for me." Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"She kept talking in this baby voice and would call me 'baby boy'. She fucking wanted me to call her Mamma. When I didn't I swear to god she was gonna reach down and rip the boys off. Fucking crazy man."

"Does she have some pedo fetish?" Jasper looked a little shocked.

"Probably. I tried to turn her around so I didn't have to look at her face but she insisted on riding me. She was bouncing up and down so hard I thought she was gonna break my dick!" I place my hand over Rico. Poor guy.

"Then she went all Ms. Honeywell."

"Who?" Jasper asked.

"Seriously dude, Ms. Honeywell from Porky's." Emmett looks at Jasper like he just forgot his own mother. Jasper shakes his head still confused by the reference.

"The HOWLER! Ms. Honeywell played by the vivacious Ms. Kim Catrell from the classic 80's film Porky's? Any of this ring a bell?" Emmett is flabbergasted.

"No."

"That's it, when we get back we are having a serious movie night. Jazzy pants needs to brush up on his raunchy 80's comedies." One of Emmett's favorite things is movies from the 80's. I swear he can quote just about any movie. He is a wealth of knowledge… most of it though, is random.

"He means, she howls, loudly, like a dog when she cums." I shudder, _again_.

"_Seriously_." I shake my head and Jasper and Emmett start laughing once more.

Then they both start howling, "AAAAWHOOOOOOOO!"

"Yeah, then she bit me."

They both stop laughing, "she fucking bit you?" they said in unison.

"Yep" I say popping the p." Then she got off and said she was going for toys, FUCKING TOYS!"

By now they are both laughing so hard that I think they are crying. "Did she come out with a unicorn butt plug and big purple dildo?" Emmett asked in between breaths.

"The fuck if I know, that's when I grabbed my shit and bolted as fast as I could. She is one crazy ass cougar. Baby talk, howling, and then fucking biting me. There was no way in _hell_ I was gonna sit and wait to find out what "toys" she had in mind."

"Don't knock toys, Rosie would have loved the unicorn…"

"TMI Em!" Jasper yelled.

"So sorry, Jasper. It's not like your virgin ears haven't heard me talk about sex before."

"I so wish that were true, but there is a difference between some random girl at the bar and Rosalie." Damn, Jasper must really be trying to make a point if he's calling her Rosalie.

"Alright, alright, I'll try to keep it PG. But seriously dude, how does Alice deal your virginal ways?"

"She is plenty satisfied, thank you very much. Just to warn you, the girls are still awake." Jasper said as we pulled into the driveway.

"Great, just what I need." I mumbled. Tonight already sucked without having to deal with the Annoying Twosome.

"Well look what that cat dragged in." Rosalie said sarcastically as we walked in the door. Emmett and Jasper just lost it and started laughing, again.

"Laugh it up." I huffed. I need some water.

"Edward, where are your shoes?" Alice asked. I didn't answer. I just turned around and walked into the kitchen to get myself some water.

"What's wrong Eddie, cougar got your tongue?" Emmett said. I turned around and flipped him off which only made him and Jasper laugh more.

"So Edward, Ms. Anderson, huh? Did you two have fun?" Rosalie sneered. What is her fucking problem?

"They had a _howling_ good time." Emmett answered. Those two are laughing so hard they aren't even making noise. I pinch the bridge of my nose; I am never gonna live this one down.

"I don't know about you but I think we are missing something" Alice said to Rose. "Is that a bite mark on your neck? Did she bite you!" Alice yelled as she grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me down to her level.

"Oh my god she did! What was she trying to do suck your blood? Were you role playing? Let me guess, she was a vampire and you were her helpless victim? But I'm still confused as to how you lost your shoes? I'm sensing that this is one hell of a story so somebody better start talking." Alice said in one breath. Her and Rosalie are both looking at me with this confused, amused, irritated look on their faces.

"No, to the first question and one shoe is in the car and the other one is probably in someone's yard. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed and you can all fuck off." I turned and headed straight up stairs.

"BUT WE WANNA KNOW!" Alice yelled after me.

"Don't worry Tiny Tink; I will fill you in on the deets. Jasper earmuffs; I don't want to scar you more than you already are." I heard Emmett say. Sweet Jesus, I can only imagine what he's gonna tell them.

"_will you Edward Anthony Cullen, take Isabella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold…_

"AWWWHOOOOOOOOOO! AWWWWHOOOOOO! Give it to me baby boy. Mamma likes that, yes she does."

My bed starts moving up and down. What the fuck! I uncover my head and on either side of me are Rose and Alice jumping up and down.

"OH GOD MAMMA"S CUMMING… OOOO…OOOOO…AAAWWHOOOOO!" They yell at the same time.

I groan and cover my head back up. "Go away!" I yell from underneath the pillow.

"No can do my lil baby boy. It's time to wakey, wakey." Alice said in a baby voice.

"Get the fuck out!"

"So touchy in the morning. Good thing you didn't sleep over with Ms. Anderson. She probably would have spanked you with an attitude like that. Unless you're in to that sorta thing. I mean, I love when Emmett spanks me while he's hitting it from the back. It's even…"

"God Rose, TMI!" I cut her off. "You and Em have a serious oversharing problem." I uncover my head to see her glaring down at me.

"You're just jealous you don't have a hot piece of ass like me."

"Yep… _super_ jealous."

"We're on a schedule Edward; we need to get back home. Now get your ass out of bed or I'll start telling you the role playing games Jazzy and I play." I cringe. Not an image I want to have in my head first thing in the morning.

"Please don't. I sleep naked, so I suggest if don't wanna see the goods, you both need to get the fuck out." I grumble sitting up.

"Eww. That would be like seeing my brother…all sorts of wrong." Alice cringed as she skipped out the door.

"What about you Rosalie? You staying for the show?"

"Yeah, no. I already have a pretty good idea from the description Bella gave us." She smirked and walked out.

What the fuck does that mean? Bella told them? Of course she did, they're her best friends. I told Jasper. Now I wanna know what she said. Was it bad? Did she not enjoy herself? No, if there is one thing I know how to do, its have sex. Did she like it? Is she thinking about it like I am? Jesus, now I'm gonna think about _that_ for the rest of the day; along with the dream I just had and her going on that goddamn date. I swear this woman is gonna be the death of me. I really hope that Rose and Alice keep my unfortunate encounter to themselves, right, that's not gonna happen. If they don't say something Emmett will.

After, a quick breakfast and goodbye's to my parents. We hit the road. I don't think I have ever been so happy to leave Forks. This has been probably the longest, craziest, shit-filled weekend of my life. As soon as I get home I'm going to throw myself into work. We have a few projects coming up I can really sink my teeth into. If Jasper is ready with the mock up, we can show Omnicron the beta site. I can't wait to show them all the work we've done. They're major players and could potentially bring in other clients. I'm going to schedule a follow up meeting with Smith & Doone, their law firm needs a web presence and I know we can give them one.

"Should we stop by Amber's so you can kiss her goodbye?" Jasper said laughing.

"Let's not and say we did. I just want to get the fuck home."

"Aww come on Eddie, you're no fun." Emmett pouted.

"Just shut up and drive."

I was going over the how I want to present our mock up to Omnicron, when my phone beeped.

**I hear baby boy had one howling good time last night- MB**

Fuck, I could feel my stomach get all twisted in knots. I knew they would probably tell her. Why do I care so much that she knows? It's not like we are seeing each other. We had sex once; I've had sex with plenty of girls only once and never thought of them again. Why the _fuck_ is bothering me so much?

***head shake* Not u too- E**

I tried not to look at her when we left the wedding. I wonder what her reaction was? Was she jealous? Did I want her to be jealous?

**LMAO, did u really think I wasn't gonna comment? U shld know me better than that- MB**

I did know her better than that, better than anyone really. A part of me hopes I have her all twisted in knots. I shouldn't be the only one suffering.

**A guy can hope- E**

**Jealous? –E **

**Yes- MB **

She was jealous?

**Of the fact I didn't get 2 witness the shame in person ;)- MB**

Way to give a guy hope and then knock him downFor a minute there she had me thinking she might feel the same way as me. Nope, she's just fucking with me. God Dammit!

**That's right u hv Embry now- E**

**Jealous?- MB**

Me jealous? Edward Cullen does not get jealous. Ok, so I might have seen red when she appeared on the porch in a sheet looking thoroughly fucked. Maybe I wanted to go in there and beat the shit out of Jake. Because of everything he put her through of course… right? I run my fingers through my hair. Does she want me to be jealous? This woman has got me so…

"Aarrrgh" I groan out loud.

"What's the matter, thinking about Mamma?"

"No, your sister" I mumbled. Shit, I didn't just say that out loud.

"I take it, the girls told her and she's razzing you." Jasper said saving my ass.

"Of course she is, she's my sister after all." Emmett beamed proudly.

"Yeah, in fine MB fashion." That and the fact that she so has me so turned around and backwards. Not to mention, she disabled my mojo.

"That's my girl!"

**Yes- E**

**Of u. That Embry is one hot poa- E**

**U switching sides on me Cullen?- MB**

**After last nite, I'm leaning towards Monk/Priest- E**

**LMAO…wait sorry I was trying 2 pic that- MB**

**What, I wld totally rock the collar- E**

**And women & gay men everywhere weep- MB**

Should I push a little further?

**Awww, that's sweet but there is only 1 person that I care about being sad- E**

**Really? Who?- MB**

**;)- E**

There, leave her twisting in the wind. Payback is a bitch for Rose's comment.

…**- MB**

"Hahaha" A big smile spread across my face.

"Baby B still giving you the shiznit?"

"Not any more, she's witty but not as witty as I."

"I call bullshit! She's a Swan, our first words were sarcastic. What did you say to her?"

"Tsk, tsk. I will not spill my secrets to the enemy. Enough about your sister, let's talk about the Smith & Doone meeting this week."

****A/N: Soooo whadda did you think? Did you have as much fun reading it as I did writting it? I, like Emmett, LOVE me some 80's movies, well really I love for ALL movies. I think I have seen Porky's like, 8 times. What is your favorite 80's movie? I enjoy Say Anything or anything with John Cusak really. Any body remember Howard the Duck? **

**So it seems to me like these to kids need to pull their heads out their asses and realize that they are in fact jealous and have more than friendly feelings for eachother. But that's just me. You? So up next is B's date with Embry. Where do you think they should go? I am open to ideas? **

**Please review, I love reading what you think and your ideas. Totally makes me day!**

**Recs: Antique Roadshow by aerobee82; Seven Years by headbandfreak- LOVE THEM!**

**XOZO- HB**


	10. Chapter 10

**Good newds, I didn't die a horrbile death and you will get another chapter! I hate it when I'm totally into a story and then it suddenly stops. My mind starts going, I hope the author is ok, no serrious illness, no tragic death. That would just be sad panda all around. If that has happened, YOU ARE MISSED! Thank you for sharing your words with the world. Then I chastise myself for automatically thinking the worst- I swear I can't help it! So then I'm like, maybe they lost inspiration, ok, what can I do to help inspire them so I know what happens! If that happens, hit me up, we will figure a way to get the wheels spinning again!**

**I am happy to report that no horrible deaths, no injuries, or illnesses (no injures for me if a BONUS, because just like Bella- I AM A CLUTZ!) There was no zombie attacks either. The real reason is good actually, we sold our house of 10 years and bought a new one and we had a month to fix stuff and move out into storage (new house isn't ready yet). We are currently squatting at my inlaws. We will be moved in this weekend though! HAPPY DANCE! **

**We also took a small family vacation and just got back. OMG, on my way to the ocean Saturday I was a hop, skip, and a jump away from FORKS! I have a picture of the exit sign. As we passed I sighed and my hubs said, " No we are not going to Forks." I was this (- -) close ya'll. Whew, what a month! I do have excellent news, during my 8 hour drive home yesturday, I pretty much have chapter 11 down! Thank you WT. I'm hoping that I will get it up by next week, no promises though as I will be moving in to our new house.**

**As always, a HUGEMUNGUS THANKS to my bff Kimmie for fix'n it up and to my awesome and amazing Wonder Twin, thank you love for prereading and helping fuel my creativity!**

***Sadly enough, I do not own TWILIGHT, just the people in my head.**

**I hope you enjoy and please review. I love hearing what you have to say and think! **

**CH 10**

BPOV

God it's been a long week, between work and not sleeping…I'm starting to look a bit night of the living dead. If Alice could see me now, she would flip her shit. Thank Sweet Baby Jesus that I got Jazz to preoccupy her tonight. She has been bugging me all week to come over and "girl me up" for my date. I am _so _not in the mood to be primped, poked, prodded, and waxed. He's seen me drunk and puking on myself and yet he still asked me out. I really don't think Plain Jane Bella is going to be an issue. Hey, at least I will be fleshly showered and sober this time

Ahhhh, the scolding hot water from the shower feels amazing, helping me unwind and get my head back in the game. Although I wouldn't _need_ to get my head back in the game if I didn't have Edward fucking with it, unintentional or not. That man has got me twisted! It's really starting to piss me off. I promised myself after the whole Jake debacle that I wasn't gonna let another guy get into my head. Dammit Edward Cullen for being so…_you_. Dammit Bella for sleeping with him in the _first _place. If you would have just kept it in your pants, none of this would be happening right now. And yes, I realize I'm talking to myself in the third person.

When Rose and Alice told me what happened, part of me felt like I got punched in the gut. Another part thought it was funny as hell and I would give him shit about it for the rest of our lives. But another part, the jealous part, had the urge to grab a handful of Miss Anderson's bleach blond hair and yank it out of her head. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I had to act like it didn't bother me and in good ole' MB fashion texted him and gave him shit about it. I mean, that's what we would have normally done. I do have a rep to protect. Then he had to text- "there is only one person I would want to be sad". Who the fuck does he want sad? Me? Amber? What's up with the goddamn winkey face answer?

Why did he have to go and sleep with the crazy cougar? He usually has better taste than that. I usually don't care. But the little voice inside of my head is saying_, "because you have him all twisted up in knots and it's his way of rebelling."_ I can't help but laugh at myself, me getting Edward all twisted inside like he has me, ha, _in my dreams._ I mean, he is Edward Cullen and I am… well Bella Swan, one of the boys, MB. Definitely not the type he lusts after. Yeah, the sex was AMAZING, or at least _I _thought it was but that could be the drugs talking. Must be the drugs, explains the jealousy part.

"Awwwww!" I yell in the shower. Ok Bella, get it together. You have been thinking about this all week and it's keeping you up at night. You have a date to get ready for. No more thinking about Edward. Your focus is on Embry. No more Edward…that is going to be my motto for the evening. I repeat it to myself a couple more times after getting out of the shower and drying my hair.

Once my hair is done l look in the mirror and decide that a little makeup won't kill me. Hopefully I can make me look less like a flesh eating zombie.

_Knock, knock. _

He's here already? Shit I haven't even gotten dressed yet. I'm still in my underwear. I grab my robe and answer the door.

"Hey, you're early. Hope you don't…" I stop. Standing in front of me is a very tired, worn out looking Edward.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" He doesn't answer me right away. I hope nothing happened. Instead he just looks at me, he starts to open his mouth to say something and then closes it.

"Ok, you're starting to freak me out. You look like shit by the way. When is the last time you slept?" He looks a little bit like me under all the makeup, I'm one to talk.

"I haven't." he frowned. "Bella, I… ok…so here's the thing…" he is running his hands through his hair and if he keeps it up he's gonna go bald.

"Dude, come on….spit it out." I've never seen him so tongue tied before and it's starting to freak me out. "Wait, did you knock one of your floosies up?" I cringe and I suddenly have a giant pit in my stomach.

He looked at me like I had lost my damn mind. "Fuck it." He muttered and then he grabbed my face and kissed me. I stood there for a moment not knowing what the hell was happening, until I realized, holy shit Edward was kissing me!

I started kissing him back with all the intensity and frustration I've felt in the last couple months. That coil started to build up in my stomach and my lady bits were starting to tingle. Before I could get too excited he broke the kiss. Both of us were breathing heavily and we just stared at each other for a long moment.

I don't even think my brain was able to form actual words.

It was all- .

He opened his mouth to say something, closed it, looked at me and then turned around and _walked, or rather RAN away._ That's right, Edward Cullen just drive-by kissed me! Kissed and ditched! Who does that? Who kisses you like you've never been kissed before and _FUCKING_ runs away!

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I yell at no one.

I go back in my apartment and slam my door. I swear to god this man and his mood swings are starting to give me a little whiplash. So much for today's motto.

I look at the clock and realize that Embry will be here in about a half hour. Should I call and cancel? I am having a serious mindfuck situation right now, I don't know how much fun I will be. I start pacing back and forth in my apartment. To cancel or not to cancel, that is the question. He's probably almost here by now and it would be kind of a dick move to cancel after he's driven from La Push. On the other hand, I have got Edward on the brain and is that really fair to Embry? No, it's not. Fucking Edward!

I am seriously so pissed and confused right now. Jackass, who fucking kisses someone and runs away! No, you know what, I am going. Fuck Edward. Fuck the kiss. If he can go and screw a desperate middle-aged woman without giving me a thought then why the hell should I not go out with a hot, abs you can wash clothes on, man who likes me? Damn, I need to stop letting whatever is going with Assward sidetrack me and have some fun. Ok, now that's all settled I should probably get dressed.

I just slip my shoes on when I hear a knock at my door.

"Just a second!" I yell. I check myself out in the mirror, take a deep breath and repeat, 'Assward out Embry in. Clear your mind and just have fun.' Fuck him. One more deep breath, you can do this Bella.

I open the door and a very sinful looking Embry is standing there with a huge smile on his face. His smile is so infectious I can't help but smile back. Ok, this will be easy peasy and my eyes rake over him. He is wearing dark washed jeans, a black button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons undone. Jesus, he looks good. Yeah, this will not be hard at all.

"Wow, you look good Bells." He says giving me the once over. I have on a pair of dark washed skinny jeans, a white scoop neck t-shirt, and my chucks. My usual uniform. I mentally give Alice an 'I told you so' look, he likes me the way I am.

"You ready to go?"

"As ready as I was the day I was born. Assuming I was actually ready to be pushed out… scratch that, I'm ready." I blush. Jesus Bella, being pushed out your mom's vagina isn't really first date conversation.

Embry just starts laughing," and that is one reason why I like you, you crack me up. Let's go. I have a fun filled night planned."

And just like that, we're standing in front of my door. The date was actually pretty fun. He took me to this place where you learn to cook a seafood cacciatore dish, then you sit down with everyone and enjoy. Our instructor was a lady who had more energy than Alice, I totally didn't think that was even possible! She would sing, "Chop, chop, slice, slice, stir, stir, yum yum" while making hand gestures for each word. It was hilarious!

Then he took me bowling, which I must admit is not my favorite thing, mostly because I am horrible but also because there is a high chance of me getting hurt. Me attempting to throw an 8 lb ball and not injure myself or anyone around me is a task. Tonight, I am proud to say, I only dropped the ball once and thankfully moved my foot before it crushed my toe. It was decided, after I had attempted to throw my first ball, that it would be safer for all involved if we granny bowled. You are now looking at the granny bowl champ.

"I had a really great time tonight Bells." Embry said staring down at me still holding my hand.

"Me too." I said smiling back at him. His eyes were starting to darken and I knew what was coming next. He cupped my cheeks with his warm hands, bent down and kissed me. This kiss was nice and soft, nothing like the kiss I had shared with Edward on these very steps a mere 4 hours ago. Dammit! I was doing so well. Up until now, I had managed to put Edward out of my mind the entire night. I broke away from the kiss. It wasn't fair to Embry that I was thinking about someone else while he kissed me.

I bit my bottom lip. "I ummm..I had a great time Embry. Thank you. I…should…ummm get inside." Ok, now it's turning a bit awkward.

"Ummm, yeah, I should probably get going, long drive ahead of me. So…can I call you?" He suddenly looked very nervous.

"Yeah. Oh and text me when you get home so I won't worry."

"Sure thing…well goodnight Bella. Talk to you soon."

"Ya, See ya when I see ya."

I sank down into my couch and put my head in my hands. I was doing so well. Not once did I think about Edward , then when it gets to the good stuff, WHAMMO! Him and his toe curling, lady parts tingling kiss.

"AGGHHHH!"

My phone started to vibrate.

**Good move get'n Jazzy to distract me btw. But I have not forgotten. STATUS!- Alice**

**Fun, just got home.- B**

**What no night cap? Is he a bad sober kisser?- A**

Yeah, totally not telling Pixie Trigger about Edward's drive-by kissing. She would be over here before I could say slow your roll. I can hear her now, "I told you he loved you! It's like in that one stupid ass romantic comedy that I love!" Yeah, no. Keeping this shit to myself

**LOL, no he's fine but he had to work early and was being a gentleman- B**

**A GENTLEMAN? What's that like? LOL- The one and only Alice**

**What Jazzy boy isn't a gentleman?-B**

**Plz hunny that boy cld not keep his hands off of this *hand rakes over body*- Alice too hottie**

**EWW, not an image I need right before bed- B **

**U know u want this! Anywho, I expect a full report in DETAIL tomorrow- U know u want my body & u think I'm sexy A**

I have no doubt in my mind she will be knocking on my door bright and early. She better have coffee. I have a feeling no sleep will be had tonight. Damn you Edward. You know what I need…I need a drink, or four. Time for me to head across the street to Tipsy's. Maybe if I drink myself into oblivion I could at least get a couple hours. I grab my purse and walk across the street.

We frequented Tipsy's a lot, being that is right across the street from my humble abode. Riley, the bartender, knew us all by name and what drinks we liked. Personally, I go back and forth between chocolate cake shots (when I want to get drunk) and a Midori Sour (when I just need a good buzz).

When I walk in the door Riley flashes me a big smile, waves and starts making me a chocolate cake shot. See, he totally knows what I need. Ladies and Gentlemen, Riley the psychic bartender!

"Here you go Bella Boo." He says placing the drink at the end of the bar. I immediately slam it back, suck on the lemon and slam the glass on the bar.

"How did you know what I needed?"

"Please darling, just call me Miss Cleo…and Edward told me he kissed you and walked off. I had a feeling you'd be wandering my way girl"

"He told you that huh?" Of course he did. Riley is part shrink. I think that's in the job description for a bartender- must have a degree in psychology and mixology.

He slides me another one, "Plus the pent up sexual vibes you guys have been omitting lately makes anyone in a 5 foot radius want to jump the person next to them. "

"I didn't think it was that obvious." I slam back the shot and nod my head asking for another.

"Girl, even a blind man could see it. If it makes you feel better, you have that fine specimen of man twisted like a pretzel. He don't know his penis from his pinky anymore."

"His pinky from his penis? I highly doubt he's that confused, it's a pretty big difference" I said shaking my head. Dammit, now I'm thinking about his penis.

"Speaking from personal experience?" He wagged his eyebrows and I just rolled my eyes. "He's still here you know, down at the other end. Don't believe me ask him yourself." He nods his head to the right and sure enough at the other end of the bar is Edward. All I can see tis the back of his head. He's talking to someone.

I slam back another shot. "You're right, I need to pull up my big girl panties and figure this shit out 'cause it's driving me fucking insane."

As I get closer to where Edward is seated I can hear him arguing with someone, with Lauren to be exact. I mentally cringe.

"I'm only gonna tell you this one more time, leave me the fuck alone Lauren." He seethed.

She started to slid her hand up his thigh, "Or what, are you gonna punish me? I like to be punished." She purred.

"Yeah I remember… unfortunately. Look I- AM –NOT- INTERESTED. Now get your slutty hands off of me. I don't want to catch something." He grabbed her hands and removed it from his leg.

"Oh, come on Eddie, you know you want this." She placed her hands on his chest.

In that moment all I saw was red. I closed the gap between them and me. Before I could really think about it I punched the bitch.

"OH MY GOD MY NOSE!" She screamed grabbing her nose that was now squirting blood.

"What, I thought you liked it rough?" I said my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I think you broke my nose you Bitch!"

"No, means no; not my fault you don't listen." I turned to look at Edward.

"And you!" I pointed my finger in his chest. I opened my mouth to say all the things I wanted to say but instead I grabbed his face and kissed him. Then I broke away, turned around and walked away.

**** A/N **

**Sooooo...whatcha think? Did you like the Brady Bunch reference? I really enjoyed writting this chapter, epecially the very end. I know some of you wanted more of the date- I will probably make that an outtake at the end. Any guesses on what comes next? ILOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU THOUGHT SO SHOW ME THE LOVE! Or a slight dislike as the case may be. I still want to know, the good the bad, and the slutty Lauren ugly. **

**Recs: The Ex Factor: Edward and Bella by AngelAtTwilight. Antiques Roadshow, by aerobee8, and Divide, by forthelongestday. GOOD READS GUYS!**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello my beautiful and amazing readers! Let me just say that movig is STRESSFUL! I am never doing it again unless I hire an assistant to do everything for me. By that time my book will have been published and my art is selling like crazy! DREAM BIG! Book you say, why yes I did in fact write a book. All original characters thought of out of my crazy, twisted brain. Well one of them if pretty much like me, which you would be able to tell if you know, which most of you don't, lol. **

**I just want to add a lil note, my opinion if you will- take it or leave it. I love Twilight. I fell in love with the books and the characters in them. I am assuming, since you are reading fanfiction, that you have also read and fell in love with the book characters. Don't let whatever is going on in people's personal lives ruin and tarnish the love you have for the character's Stephanie Meyers created. I know I'm not.- End of opinion.**

**Thank you again to all who read my story. It defrosts my cold dead heart each time. I love hearing your reviews and comments. Keep them coming! Flood me with them, I don't care. THANK YOU TO THE HEAVENS AND BACK my beautiful and amazing WONDER TWIN for prereading and sharing my brain and also to the talented bff KIMMIE was polishing me up, lord knows I need it.**

**P.S. If you haven't already guessed, I don't own Twilight. (I always thought it would be awesome if Stephanie Meyers or one of the actors were actually on FF and wrote their own story but we would never know because they are all super secret squirel (did I spell that right? I have no beta for this part) about it. Makes you wonder right?**

**P.P.S This chapter contains...yummy stuff. I suggest not reading it in front of your mother, like Kimmie did. **

**Ch 11**

"_And you!" I pointed my finger in his chest. I opened my mouth to say all the things I wanted to say but instead I grabbed his face and kissed him. Then I broke away, turned around, and walked away. I ran across the street to my apartment. _

Ok that was kind of a rush! Score one for Bella. And I have been dying to punch that slut-cracker in the face. I hope I did break her nose. Might improve her look some, like in the episode of Sponge Bob where he hits Squidward with a door or something and makes him the most beautiful man in Bikini Bottom but he is too pretty and people start going crazy so Sponge Bob gets to beat him back to ugly again… I hope I get to do that, beat her ass back to ugly. I said to myself. I can hear someone coming up the stairs. Before I can start to guess who it might be my door bursts open.

"What the _fuck_ Edward! Have you ever heard of knocking!? You can't just barge into people's apartments." I yell. I can't believe he actually chased after me.

"When someone kisses me and runs away I can!" He yells back

"_Really!? _So, it's ok for _YOU_ to do it to _ME_ right before _my_ _date_, but not ok for me?! You're logic is super flawed my friend." I was yelling and I know my face was red.

"Did you kiss him?" He asked.

"_What_? Umm, _you _have no right to ask me that and it's none of _your_ damn business." Yeah I did and all I could think about was your stupid ass, happy!? I thought to myself. Of course I will never admit that out loud.

"You don't have to answer, it's written all over your face." He smirked

Damn my open book face!

"Poor guy."

"Poor guy? Gee thanks." I sneered. He is digging himself a pretty deep grave here.

"I meant I feel bad that the kiss was just ok and it ranks at like 4th-5th place on your scale."

I looked at him with irritated confusion.

"We all know the top 3 are mine."

He's such a cocky asshole.

"For your information it was _the_ best, soft and sweet. He also didn't kiss me then run away like a little bitch. like some people I know "

"I call BS, you are _the_ _wors_t liar. Why do you even try?"

I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I am not lying"

He cocked his head sideways. "Then we'll have to fix that."

In one quick step he closed the space between us, grabbed my face and kissed me.

My first initial thought was, DON"T KISS HIM BACK, but it that thought was gone quicker than it came. I wound my finger in his hair and tugged on it gently. That got a reaction. He grabbed my me by the hips and thrust them into his. He nipped at my bottom lip which made me moan then slipped his tongue back into my mouth. After a few minutes our kissing started to slow. He was the first to break away. He rested his forehead against mine. Both of us breathing heavily.

He pulled back and looked at me with that cocky grin. "Now all four belong to me."

Really, he just had to ruin it. I punched him in the arm.

"Ow, what the fuck MB?" He said rubbing his arm.

"None of them belong to you because you are an arrogant asshole! Why do you keep doing that to me? What have I ever done to you that you feel the need to keep kissing me, _like that_ and then only to turn around and be an asshole?" My mind cannot handle this. He is going to drive me insane.

"Because…" He ran his hands over his face.

"Because!? That's all I get? What do you want from me Edward?" I am getting so frustrated with him.

" I..I need a drink." He turned around and walked into the kitchen, grabbed the Captain Morgan's out of the freezer, and two glasses out of the cupboard.

"A drink, _really_. You're getting really good at this walking away shit. Am I really that hard to talk to nowadays?" I plopped down on the couch and put my head in my hands.

I could feel the couch dip next to me. I looked up and he was sitting next to me holding out a cup of rum. I gladly take it and chug it down. He sighed, "This is all your fault you know."

"All _my_ fault?".

"Yeah, _your_ fault. Taking your crazy horny sleeping pill. I didn't rip off my own clothes. That was all you. You _seducing_ me. If the sex wasn't so fuckmazing then maybe I'd still be able to keep that fucking line drawn. But nooo. So yeah, _your_ fault."

"_Seriously?_. Ok, I admit to taking the horny sleeping pill but you are just as much to blame as I am. You stuck it in remember. You could have said no and pushed me off. And I did not rip your clothes off. Plus I have no clue how to seduce anyone, let alone you"

"Well that wasn't gonna happen."

"And why is that? Wait what line?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose then took another drink. "No normal warm blooded man turns down an invitation to have sex with an attractive sexy woman."

"Always thinking with your other brain aren't you. At least I have an excuse, I was hopped up on some pretty strong pills, you just have your anatomy. Again, what line?" I said shaking my head

"Yes, I mean no." He gulped down another drink.

"You're Bella, My Bella… Jesus woman, I've been attracted to you since you grew boobs. I remember the summer right before you turned sixteen and you came to meet us after we got home from football camp. You were wearing these little tiny cutoff shorts and this very tiny black tank top. All the guys on the bus were staring at you and I wanted to punch them in the face, not because you were like a little sister to me, like I had thought but because you were _My_ Bella and I didn't want anyone else to look at you."

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open. What…seriously my brain isn't processing

He started to laugh, "Emmett was pissed and threatened to chop off anyone's balls who looked at you wrong."

Dammit Emmett, so that's why half of Forks' male population stayed away from me like the plague…..I'm so going to get that fucker.

"Clearly I was never going to act on those feelings. I brushed them off and chalked them up as typical horny teenage boy feelings, drew that line between horny teenage hormones and Bella my friend and best friend's sister, and continued on as usual. I mean, besides Em and Jaz, who are like brothers to me, you're my best friend. I didn't want to ruin that. But _now_ I can't get you out of my fucking head. I close my eyes, _there you are_. Not to mention I completely lost my game with the ladies and let's not get started on the whole Jake/Embry situation. You're driving me insane woman"

"The Jake and Embry situation? There was no _situation_ with Jake, you guys just assumed the worst and as far as Embry is concerned, well…" I took another drink. If I'm going to start admitting some truths of my own, I sure the hell ain't gonna do it sober.

"I'm glad you can't get me out your head…cuz I can't get you out of mine, so we're even. I was only trying to have sex with Embry because… well just _because_. All I could think about was you and every time you were in the same damn room, I would get all tingly… So I had to prove a point and Embry is sweet and hot as hell, why not. But I kept getting beaver blocked, by everyone under the sun!" I took another drink.

"Well I didn't need to hear about it!"

"Really, because I _loved_ hearing all about your ride on the crazy cougar train!" I shuddered. I didn't want to think about that. Edward grabbed my glass and poured us another shot.

"That was a HUGE mistake. I saw you with Embry… which made me irrationally jealous. So I picked up the first woman I saw. You heard the stories, clearly it didn't go well. And the shit part of it was, I knew it would get back to you and that made me feel even worse. Then you texted me…I had to do something; I thought maybe if I kissed you I would get it out of my system and move on, so I did."

"And?"

"And clearly I didn't work. My brain was - is stuck on the goddam Bella channel. I didn't know what to say, I was so frustrated, so I just walked away. I went to the bar, talked to Riley and then well, you know the rest." He was resting his head in his hands.

"Maybe it was a fluke." He looked up at me confused. Hell, I was confused. This is probably drunk Bella brain talking but I don't care. I'm going for it.

"You know, the sex. We should do it again, awake this time. Then let's see how we feel after. Perhaps it won't be any good, we get it out of our system and move on, go back to normal." I said with a shrug. I swear I just heard Ms. Vajay holler, _yes_!

"Sex with me is always good."

I rolled my eyes. "Always so cocky. If you don't want to then fine, no skin off my vagina. I'll just call Embry up, make another date and _bang_ you out of my head." I smirked.

"Fuck that."

In an instant he was on top of me. His lips came crashing down on mine as he thrust onto me. I could feel him getting hard against my leg. He started kissing his way down my neck, nibbling as he went. God that feels good.

"This," he grabs onto the hem of my shirt. " Has got to go." He practically rips my shirt off and tosses it, along with my bra that he removed remarkably fast with one hand, onto the floor.

"So beautiful." He whispered in my ear. He began to lick, suck and nibble on my nipples. I let out a moan, God what he's doing feels good.

I needed to feel him and he had entirely too much clothes on. I grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, then I began working on his belt. I reached down through his boxers grabbed his cock and started stroking.

"Fuck" he hissed. He began to rock his hips into my hand.

"Pants, off." He said as he undid my jeans and slid them down my legs. "Mmmm, so wet." He said as his hand slid down my lace panties.

"I need to be inside you." He groaned as his finger made small circles over my clit.

"Then what are you waiting for." I smirked. He had this gleam in his eye, like he just won a prize. After discarding the remaining items of clothing, he pushed my legs apart and lined up with my entrance. He looked me in the eye, once again waiting for permission.

"Fuck me, please." I begged. One more second and I felt like I would internally combust. He thrust into me, then pulled back out only to thrust into me harder.

"Oh, God!" I yelled.

"Fuck baby you feel so good." His forehead is rest resting on mine as he thrust slowly into me.

"Harder." I whisper as I wrap my legs around him. His movements become faster and harder…hitting just the right spot. I could feel my insides start to tighten and I knew I was close.

"Ohhh, ohh, God, Yes! Fuck!" I yell as my walls start to tighten and my orgasm ripples throughout my body.

"Fuck, I love that sound." He says in between thrusts. He flips us over so I'm on top. God, that makes him fill me more. He grabs onto my hip and guides me as I bounce up and down.

"Fuck, so beautiful."

I felt another orgasm building. I bent down and whispered, "Come with me baby."

Our momentum was building faster and faster until we both fell over the edge. "Fuck!"

I collapsed on top of him, we were both covered in sweat, and breathing heavily. It was glorious.

"WOW" I said into his shoulder. I think it was better than the first time.

"Yeah" He said a little breathless. We sat there still connected till our breathing went back to normal.

"I don't think we can call it yet."

"Why? That was pretty fucking awesome. Even better than the first time."

"While I agree, the first time I was all doped up on sleeping pills and you were still half asleep. But this time we're both drunk. I think in order to call this for sure we need to have sex completely sober and awake. Maybe it's only good when we're under the influence of something. Heightened senses and all"

"So, we'll have sex one more time in the morning after we've slept it off?"

"Exactly. Then we will know for sure""

"Let's get some sleep." I slowly get off him and walk towards my bed. He crawled in next to me, still naked, pulled me to him, and we fell asleep.

The next morning I wake to someone kissing my shoulder and something _very _hard pressed into my back.

Hmmmm. I hummed.

"Rise and shine." He whispered, kissing his way lightly up my neck.

"I have morning breath." I say

"So do I. Don't care." He kisses me softly.

I open my eyes and looking down on me is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. His hair is tousled and all over the place, he has a day old beard forming, and his piercing green eyes are looking down at me, smoldering and heavy. I reach up and run my hand along his check feeling the stubble underneath my finger tips. He closes his eyes and leans into my hand. The corner of his mouth perks up into a little smile. God he is beautiful. How the hell did _this_ happen, I thought to myself. I decided that I didn't care, I want this, need this, even if it's the last time.

"So wet." He whispered as his fingers slide in between my folds.

"God, that feels good." I moan. He kept kissing neck and continued to rub small circles over my clit until my thighs began to quiver and my orgasm ripped through my body.

"Oh GOD YES!"

"You coming with just my fingers is the hottest thing I have ever seen."

"I need you …inside me… now…" I said between breaths.

He let out a deep throaty laugh. He spread my legs apart then pushed into me excruciatingly slow. "Hmmmm," he hummed "So good…"

Our pace was slow but steady. I closed my eyes and arched my back.

"God you feel amazing." I moaned

"So do you baby." He started to thrust a little faster.

"Can you cum for me baby?" He whispered in my ear.

"Come on, that's it, cum for me."

I've never been one for talking during sex but when he does it, my whole body reacts like its on fire. I fucking love it. Only him. My body shook so hard and this immense wave of euphoria consumed my body.

"GOD EDWARD!"

"God that was hot. I'm not gonna last much longer…" he moaned

"Then cum for _me." I_ whispered in his ear. He looked down at me, his eyes full of lust.

"FUCK." He moaned, never breaking eye contact. His rhythm slowed to a stop and he collapsed on top of me.

"Holy…"

"Yeah, I think we can call it. Unless you want one more go to be sure, I know how you like things in fours." He smirked rolling off of me.

"I…" before I could finish I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Shit, I forgot Alice said something about coming over. You need to hide." I said jumping out of bed. I grabbed his clothes that were scattered all over the floor and threw them at him. I grabbed the closest thing on the floor and put it on.

"You want me to hide?" He whispered.

"_Yeah_, I do. Do you really want them to find you here, naked in my bed?" I whispered, raising my eyebrows. I didn't have to say the rest, he already knew what it would be like.

"Good point." He threw on his boxers and dived under the bed just as they were putting the key in the door. I ran into the bathroom to make it look like I was already there, and to fix my sex hair.

"Bella Boo wakey, wakey." Alice said in her sing song voice as they walked in the door.

"You better have coffee." I sang as I emerged from the bathroom.

"What are you doing up, so early? I figured for sure that we would have to wake you up." Alice said handing me my coffee.

"Thank you. Had to pee. If you were ten minutes later or earlier I would've been asleep. Just because I'm "awake" doesn't mean I'm chipper, keep that in mind." Actually if you were ten minutes earlier, you would have found me penis deep, I thought to myself.

"So Ali how's the hand?" Rose smirked sitting down on the bed.

"You heard about that?" How the hell, did that happen?

"Yeah, we ran into Riley at the coffee shop." Alice said going through my clothes, no doubt picking out my outfit for today. Please don't let them know about the kiss, I prayed to myself silently. I really don't want to have that conversation while Edward is hiding under my bed.

"Well good for you, that cunt-bag had it coming." Rose gave me a high five.

"Rose! Language! You cannot call people cunts." Alice said completely appalled.

"I can when they deserve it. Do I need to remind you that she has not only tried to get in Emmett's BVD's, but also tried to snake her hand down Jasper's wranglers, literally." Rose sneered

"Trust me, I am completely aware that Lauren in a nasty ho and I had to disinfect Jazzy after that but you still shouldn't use the "c" word."

"Fine Miss Sensitive, how about twat snot? Is that better?" Rose rolled her eyes at Alice.

"Yes, much. Thank you. So, back to the lecture at hand. We came here to hear about your date with tall, tan, and delicious." Alice asked bouncing on the bed a little.

"He took me to a place where we learned to make a dish and then ate it with everyone and then bowling. You are looking at the granny bowling champion." I said proudly.

"Wow, sounds _fun_. On to the good stuff. Did you at least kiss him?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Yes, I got a good night kiss at the end."

"Just one? At Charlie's wedding weekend you were practically dry humping each other against a tree and seeing if your tongues could touch the other's tonsils. What gives?" Rose asked. Did she really have to bring that up, now.

"We were drunk when that happened."

"And your point is what? You can do the same things and more sober."

"She said he was being a gentleman." Alice piped in.

"Why? You were going on and on about how Edward broke your vagina and you wanted someone to fix it that was a golden opportunity. You had a perfectly hot and doable hunk of man meat who would have thrown the gentleman act out the window if you would have given the go ahead." Dammit Rose, let's bring up more stuff I don't want him to know.

"Look, I like Embry, he is a nice guy. Would he have been up for mattress twister? Probably but he deserves better than me using him to get the one time I had sex with Edward months ago out of my head." I huffed. Well it was the truth, minus a few kiss and ditch episodes….and the hot sex last night….and then again this morning.

"So since you like him, does that mean future dates?" Alice asked.

"Maybe, I wouldn't be opposed. He does live two hours away so actually a date or dating would be difficult." I have a feeling that statement isn't going to go over well with the man under the bed. But my focus is on them and getting them out not stroking his already large ego.

"Alright nosey bitches, interrogation time is over. Get the fuck out so I can go back to sleep." I said moving my hands toward the door.

"You are so bitchy in the morning. You're lucky there is a sale at Coutre's that we need to be first in line for when the door opens." Alice said with a pout

"Don't think this conversation is over bitch. We have ways to make you talk and I'm not gonna wait forever and a day for the real details like we did with Edward." Rose said before walking out the door.

As soon as they left, Edward slides out from under the bed.

"I broke your vagina huh?" He smirked. I flipped him off.

"Yes, are you happy?" I sneered. I hate the feeling like I've given too much away and he knows he has some power over me.

"Very." He smiled and reclined back on the bed. Seriously! I just want to lick him, he looks so good.

"Well we're even then, 'cuz you broke my penis."

I smirked, damn right I did.

"So we should probably discuss what to do now." I said lying next to him.

"Go back to sleep cause I'm hung over and feel like ass now that the sex haze has worn off?"

"Well yes, but I mean about.. us…" I said quietly. I hate having these conversations, especially sober. Drunk Bella handles these much better.

"We are going to continue to have sex. Sorry but you broke me, it's your duty now."

"My duty?

"Yes, as it is my duty to sex you up because I broke your vagina. We simply cannot ignore what our sexual organs want. It would be a crime."

"Friends with benefits…" I mutter. Alice would have a field day with that. Which means _no one_ can find out.

"Since I fear for my physical safety, we should keep this between us." He said looking at me sideways waiting for my reaction.

"Fine by me."

"Really?"

Why was he so surprised? The less committing I have to do the better. He of all people should know I don't like feelings and talking about the stuff with other people.

"Umm yeah, not only would my brother probably castrate you, which would a crime in itself, there is no way in hell I want th terror twins knowing. Telling them about the first time was torture enough and I regretted it as soon as the sordid truth left my mouth."

"Alright then, now that that is settled can we go back to sleep?"

"If by sleep, you mean going home to your own bed so I can have mine back, then yes." I smiled sweetly.

"Are you kicking me out?" He said a little surprised.

"Yes, I'm breaking my number 2 rule _again_. You know how I hate to break the rules." I made a motion to the door.

"Fine." He said rolling his eyes. He put on the rest of his clothes and headed for the door.

"Thanks for the sex." He winked.

"No problem, anytime." He threw me his signature smirk before walking out the door.

Just as I lay back down to go to sleep my phone rang. I picked it up and looked at the caller id. 480 area code…

"Hello."

"Yes, can I speak to Isabella Swan please." Said the formal voice on the phone.

"Speaking."

"Miss Swan, my name is Detective Tanner from the Phoenix Police Department."

Shit.

*****A/N**

**Soooo whatcha think? Did anyone catch Alice's 90's rap lyric? Holy cow not one but two lemons! Did you blush and turn red like I did when I wrote it? No just me, lol. I have a feeling this isn't gonna work out like B wants it too. E on the other hand, has her right where he wants her. **

**I have a question for you: ****What do you think Alice's comments would be to "Friends with Benifits"?**

**Bella Boo has rules, wanna know what they are? You will have to review to get an answer.**

**A warning for the next chapter- bad shit is about to go down. The fun, happy, haha time is over- for now. It's about to get heavy. You can't have the good without the bad folks. Any guesses on what is about to happen? I would LOVE to hear them.**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW, please cause I FLOVE THEM! If you don't I might slip into a deep coma like Snow White, a dude named Stumpy will encase me in a cardboard box with a cut out where my face is, in the park where pigeons will use my make shift sleeping coffin as a spot to rest and poop on, and there I will wait for my Prince Carming's kiss to wake me. FYI- NOT a HUGE fan of pigeons. Plus, I have a feeling Stumpy in a lil hinky and might sell my kidney on the black market.**

**LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR READING!**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	12. Chapter 12

**Holy crap I am back! I know it's been awhile since I posted the last chapter and for that I truly ****apologize and thank all of my readers for hanging in there with me. I could give you a bunch of excuses, such as I was turned into a vampire an being a newborn, with newborn strength results in a lot of broken keyboards. How about I was making a space jump along with Felix. Or I broke my hand punching a werewolf in the face. Actually I did hurt my hand, no break but a bad sprain, by punching something. All I can say to you is, I am honestly a real life Bella. In the end, as my step dad used to say, " Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one."**

**If I am being truly honest, on top of everything else, I was a bit hesitant in writing this chapter. WARNING: It's a rough one folks. Kleenex may be required. Everything I write has some personal connection to me and the world around me, whether it be a character's ****personality or an actual event that has happened to me. I also you my writing as some therapy. Parts of this chapter is pulled straight from my real life. It was emotional to write and relive for me and I honestly have quite of anxiety just posting it. **

**Thank you soooooo much to JR Durham for being my AMAZING Wonder Twin and prereader and to BFF Kimmie for polishing my rough edges. Both of these lovelies supported and encouraged my and for that, among many other things, I FLOVE them. **

**p.s Sadly, I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 12**

**"_Hello."_**

"_Yes, can I speak to Isabella Swan please." Said the formal voice on the phone._

"_Speaking."_

"_Miss Swan, my name is Detective Tanner from the Phoenix Police Department."_

_Shit…_

As I step off of the plane, the Arizona heat is stifling. At one time in my life, I loved the heat. It was warm and inviting and the thought of having to go up to Washington where it was cold and wet wasn't quite as appealing. But now when I think of Arizona, I feel pain, hurt, anger, loss. It feels foreign and unnatural to be here, like it was never home at all. Just a place I visited in a nightmare. I want to be back in Washington, where it's green, luscious and leaves me with the feeling of love, comfort, security, safety…home.

Now that we have safely landed and the fear that my smartphone would take down a passenger airplane just by being on is gone, I should probably let people know where I am at before they send out a search party. I knew that if I told them where I was going, one or more of them would insist on coming. I didn't want that, this is something I have to do alone. I'm a big girl. Tough. Strong. I can take care of this on my own. Get in, do what I have to do, and get out, never to come back.

**In AZ. Mom dead. Will call later. – B**

In a matter of seconds I knew my phone would start blowing up. I don't have time to deal with all the questions, so I quickly turned my phone off. Right now I needed to switch to auto-pilot; get a rental, check into the hotel and call Detective Tanner.

After checking in and getting settled, I turned my phone back on. As expected I have 10 new text messages and 6 new voicemails.

**WHAT! Why didn't you tell me Bells. I would have come with you?-EM**

**Isabella Marie Swan, why didn't you tell me? If I don't hear from you within the next hour, I'm coming down.- DAD**

**Ignore my first text, I'm sorry lil sis. How are you doing?- EM **

**OMG! I am so sorry. What can I do for you? - ALICE**

**WHAT! Why didn't you tell me? I'd be there with you MB? - E**

**You should not be down there alone. Call me-E**

**Dammitt Bella, at least call Charlie. - E**

**I am deeply sorry to hear about ur mama darling. I'm here if u need me. - JAZ**

**GOD DAMMIT BELLA. Answer your phone!- EM**

**Bella, I luv u. I'm sorry about ur mom. Bitch u better call us. Plz - ROSE**

Well, I don't need the cavalry rushing down here.

**I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone. I have to call the detective and then I will call. Plz don't come down. -B**

"Hi, Detective Tanner. This Bella Swan. You called about my mother Renee Swan."

"Ahh, yes, Ms. Swan. First let me just say, I am sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. Can you tell me what happen."

"Yes, of course. Your mother's neighbor noticed that the mail had been piling up. There were also several reports of what was thought to be a gas leak. The police did a well-check on her. They had to break in because all the doors were locked. They found, what we believe to be your mother in the living room."

"What do you mean, you believe?"

"Well as far as the M.E. could tell, the body we found had been dead for about 12 days. Twelve days, in 120 degree weather, with no air conditioning. The body weighed only 11lbs and was so dried out, it was unidentifiable."

"So there is a possibility that 'the body' isn't her?"

"Well yes, but it is a very small, minute chance. We interviewed her neighbors. They said she was basically a shut-in. Only left the house once every two weeks. We also found I.D. by the bed. We are running dental records now. We should have the results soon. But in my professional opinion, yes, the body is your mother."

"Do you know how she died?"

"No, not at this time. The coroner will do the autopsy. You should receive the results in about two weeks."

"Can I go in the house?"

"Yes, we have no reason to suspect foul play. Before you go in I would suggest purchasing some sort of protective suit and respirator. There is body matter floating in the air and the smell of decomp is pretty bad. You could always call a hazardous waste removal company if you don't want to go in there yourself. You will however, have to have a company come out to remove the hazardous material before you sell the house."

"Thank you, very much Detective Tanner."

"Just doing my job. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to call. Again, I'm sorry for you loss."

"I will, thank you."

I hung up the phone and just stared at the wall.

Dead for 12 days.

A dried-up corpse.

Dead.

I should probably call Charlie now. He is after all the only one who knows the truth. I just don't want him to have to deal with the guilt all over again. I know that he blames himself for what Renee did to me, even though I try to convince him otherwise.

"_I'm your dad__,__ Bella. It's my responsibility to protect you, even if it's from your own mother." Not only that, I'm the Chief of Police for Christ sakes. I should of seen the signs! That's my job! What good am I if I can't even tell if my own daughter is being abused__?__"_

"_It's not your fault. It's not like I told you or acted any differently. I fall down and get hurt all the time. Danger Prone Daphne, remember. I have bruises all the time. Stop blaming yourself, please. If anyone is to blame it's me."_

I take a deep breath, shaking off another unwanted memory.

"Hey Dad."

"Bells. Why didn't you call? Are you ok? I'm coming down."

"Dad, calm down. I'm sorry I didn't call but I just felt like I needed to do this on my own. Please respect that."

"Hmmph. I don't like it. What happened to her.?"

"They don't know for sure. All they know is she's been dead for 12 days, and her body was so dried out that she's unidentifiable." My voice sounded so clinical.

I heard a gasp on the other end of the line.

"Dad, Are _you_ ok? I know she was your wife and you loved her once. This can't be easy for you."

"I did love her, once upon a time, but she stopped being that girl a long time ago. Not to speak ill of the dead and this may sound harsh but to me, she died the day you showed up on my doorstep. What she did to you…unforgivable."

I just sat there on the phone in silence.

"Enough about me, how are you doing?" his voice was so concerned. It broke my heart. I hate when people worry about me.

"I'm fine."

"Bells."

"I'll be fine dad. Please stop worrying about me. I'll take care of what I need to take care of then I will be home."

"At least tell me where you're you staying?"

"Best Western Dobson Ranch Inn and Resort, room 114. Before you say anything, it's a good hotel, good part of town."

"Ok, call me later.'

I will dad."

"Love you Bells."

"Love you too."

_The rain was pelting against my face. At least it was summer and it wasn't cold. I felt…numb; I couldn't really feel the pain anymore, let alone the rain. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the door and waited._

_It was starting to get dark when I heard the cruiser pull into to the driveway. I forced my eyes to open as much as they could go, took a deep breath, and sat up. _

"_Bells?" _

_As soon as I was under the porch light I heard him gasp._

"_Daddy…" I managed to choke out. I flung myself at him. As soon as his arms wrapped around me, I broke. All the tears that I held back over the years, all the tears I held back while it was happening, all the tears I held back from the trip up here, all came pouring out at once. My body shook as loud heart wrenching sounds escaped. I wasn't numb anymore. All the pain rushed through my body and hit me like a ton of bricks. Even with the bone crushing pain, in my father's arms, I have never felt so safe and protected in all my life. I knew I would be ok._

I wiped a stray tear that managed to escape from my eye, ugh, I hate crying. I haven't thought about that day in a very long time. As I pulled onto my childhood street I could feel the anxiety start bubbling up in my chest. Down, anxiety monster. I do not have time for you right now. Pulling into the driveway I close my eyes take a deep cleansing breath, centering my chi. Who am I kidding, I don't do that shit. What I really did was grab the anxiety monster by the neck and shove him into my little, overstuffed box of horrors where I stuff anything and everything that I don't want to deal with. I have shit to do and just like when I was younger, there was no one else around to do it but me.

Stepping out of the confines of my safe air conditioned car, I was hit not only with the intense heat but the smell of putrid, rotten…death. I zip up the paint suit and put on the respirator I bought at an automotive supply store. The smell of death was getting stronger and thicker the closer I came to the house. I paused for a second, there was a new white truck parked under the carport. I wonder when she got that. The back door was closed but from talking to Detective Tanner I knew it would be open because they had to break in. When I opened the back door the smell was so strong it took every ounce of strength I had not to turn around and throw up in the street.

As soon as I settled my stomach, I was hit with another wave of memories and emotions. Everything was the same. Right in front of me was the extra fridge that would hold my mom's beer. To my right were the burnt yellow and rusted washer/ dryer where I used to do our laundry. An empty tipped over box as detergent sat on the top of the washer. To my left was a work bench that had automotive oil bottles, bleach, and a tipped over bucket of nails. I spent a lot of time sitting on that bench reading while I waited for the laundry to be done.

Looking around everything in here was the same except stacked in front of the washer/dryer, and bench where cases and cases of Budweiser. I walked over to one stack and noticed that each case had empty cans put back in them. I counted 40. I turned and walked up the few steps into the kitchen. I was instantly hit with a wall of thick death mixed with rotting food.

The sink was piled high with dirty dishes. Flies were crawling all over them. On the counter next to the sink was a plate with a half-eaten steak and dried up steak sauce. A fork and knife dirty with steak and steak sauce residue sat beside it. Open boxes of Triscuits, dried out molding pepper jack cheese, and a couple empty soup cans also littered the counter. The stove had a pan on it with crusted, dried out refried beans. I pushed the building emotions back down. I spent many hours in the kitchen cooking us dinner. I love to cook.

"_Mom, dinner is ready. You need to eat."_

"_I'm not hungry. I will eat when I want to eat." She slurred._

"_You can't live off beer alone. It's not healthy and you didn't eat dinner yesterday."_

"_I'm the FUCKING parent, not you, you stupid little bitch. I will eat when I FUCKING want to eat." She yelled, throwing an empty beer can at me. _

"_Could have fooled me." I mumbled under my breath._

I shook off the memory and made my way into the dining room. I couldn't see the table top. It was stacked about three feet high with mail and random papers. Just as in the other room, there are cases of beer stacked up around the table, along the wall, and in front of the hutch that used to hold Nana's china.

I made my way across the small dining room and into the living room. The T.V. was still on, Jurassic Park I stopped myself from turning it off, I needed noise. Need something to drown out the buzzing from the flies and the sound of my breath in this damn mask.

Fuck, it's hot. The sweat from my body is making the paint suit stick to me and there is a small pool of it gathering at the bottom of the respirator. I could go back outside, but I don't know if I could make myself come back in.

There were more cases of beer piled up in front of the couch and on either side of the T.V. The smell of death was thickest in this room. Across from the TV and couch in the corner up against the wall was a bed. Her deathbed. There were no sheets on the bed, just a plain mattress with two sweat stained pillows in each corner. Directly in the middle of the bed was a dark brownish green human shaped stain that bled into yellow around the edges. The stain had no hands or feet just a left leg and an arm that were bent. That stain was my mother.

I felt numb as I drove back to the hotel. I didn't want to think about the things I saw, the things I did, or the things I remembered. The radio was blaring loudly in the background but I couldn't tell you what song was on or what they were saying. I just stared straight ahead, white knuckling the steering wheel, and focusing on the road in front of me. I couldn't even tell you how I actually got back to the hotel or how I ended up in front of my hotel room door.

The only thought going through my head when I walked through the door was that I needed a shower. I need to scrub away the death that still lingered on my skin. All I could smell was that smell. It was like it was seeping out of my pores.

"Bella."

I stopped mid stride. Edward was sitting on my bed.

I stared at him blankly. "I need to take a shower." The voice that came out of my mouth sounded far away and programmed. Like a robot with no feelings.

I walked into the bathroom, stripped off the clothes and bandanna I bought from the dollar store and threw them in the garbage tying the bag up tight. I started the shower turning the knob all the way to the H. The water burned my skin. I squeezed the soap into the loofah and started scrubbing The smell was still there, so I scrubbed some more. It seems like it was getting stronger so I started manically scrubbing harder.

My chest started to hurt and my breathing picked up. I couldn't stop my body from shaking. I dropped to my knees and let the hot water pelt down on top of my head. The pain felt so strong in my chest like someone is trying to rip my heart out with their bare hands. I wrapped my arms around my body A strangled cry ripped from my throat. I can't hold back the tears any longer and once they start I can't stop them. I'm at my breaking point, I can't take this pain.

"Bella." I hear Edward's voice off in the distance.

"Bella! Baby look at me." Lean arms encircle me. I grab onto him and cling with all the strength I have left.

"Shhhh. Is ok baby, it's gonna be ok." He whispers into my ear. "I'm here."

**%&&)*)*)_*)*)*)*)**

"Why are you here?" I ask quietly while sitting next to him on the bed.

"Because you shouldn't be doing this alone."

"I'm fine. I'm a big girl. I can take care of things on my own. I've been doing it for awhile now." My tone was dry and laced with resentment that I couldn't really place.

"Bella you are not fine. Do you not remember what just happened in the shower? I've never seen you like this before. I know you've been taking care of yourself and the rest of us for a long time now and you don't need anybody, blah, blah, blah, but dammit stop being so goddamn stubborn. It's ok to need someone, especially when it comes to stuff like this. I'm here for you. I'm not leaving. Not when you're hurting."

His forehead is creased and he looks stressed and worried. I hate when people worry about me.

"Talk to me. Please." He said quietly.

"What is there to talk about? She's dead. My mother is dead. End of story. I had to come down here and take care of things. Simple." I said bitterly.

"Bella…"

"Look, it's been a long day and I'm tired. Can we just go to bed now?"

"Sure." He sounded defeated.

We crawled under the covers and he pulled me close.

"Goodnight MB." He said as he kissed the top of my head.

"_Where the fuck have you been!" She screamed as I walked into the door._

"_I was at the library. I told you before I left." I said as I walked past her into the kitchen._

"_Don't you dare walk away from me lil bitch." She said angrily as she grabbed my arm and yanked me to her._

"_Ouch. Let go. You're hurting me." I try and wiggle out of her grip but she's to__o__ strong. _

_She used her other hand to grab me by my chin. "You were fucking around with the neighbor boy weren't you!"_

"_No, mom. I was at the library."_

"_Don't lie to me. I know. You think I don't know but I do." She yelled in my face. Her breath smelt like beer. _

"_Mom, I swear. I was at the library." My voice started to tremble. Don't cry. Don't cry. It will only make it worse._

"_LIAR!" She screamed as she pushed me hard into the counter. A sharp pain ripped through my back._

"_Your nothing but a little slut! When you end up pregnant at 13, don't come crying to me for help. I didn't even want you. I sure as hell aren't helping take care of some bastard grandchild." _

"_If you didn't want me why didn't you just leave me with dad!" I cried._

"_Are you crying! All because I said I didn't want you? Can you blame me? I'll give you something to cry about."_

**EPOV**

A blood curtailing scream woke me from my sleep. Bella was thrashing around the bed screaming.

"No, please….Stop! Mommy please…"

"Bella wake up." I tried shaking her but it wasn't working.

"Wake up MB, It's just a dream." I said again a little louder this time.

She woke up with a start. Her big brown eyes were wide and scared as they darted around the room.

"Bella." I said reaching out for her. She jerked her arm away and scrambled to the top of the bed. She continued to look around the room until her breathing became normal again.

"Edward." She said so soft I could barely hear it.

"It was just a dream MB. I'm here. You're ok, nothing's going to happen to you."

"It wasn't just a dream." She said as she ran her fingers through her hair.

"What?"

"I said it wasn't a dream. I mean, I wasn't dreaming, I was reliving."

I was starting to get confused. What had happened to her while she was living here?

"Do you know why I came to live with Charlie and Em?"

"Yeah, your mom got remarried to some minor league baseball player and wanted to travel with around with him."

"That's not true. I made that up."

"What do you mean, you made it up?"

"I came to live with Charlie because…" She took a deep breath and scrubbed her hands across her face.

"I've never told anyone this. Em doesn't even know. Only Charlie."

"Tell anyone what?" I tried to keep my voice calm but I was starting to freak out.

"I came home late from the library one night. I didn't think it would be a problem because she was usually passed out by 7. That night she wasn't. She was really mad and started calling me a slut and accused me of sleeping with the neighbor boy. I denied it. It wasn't true. I was 12 for god sakes. She didn't believe me. When she was drunk she always made up stuff in her head. She pushed me. Even though it hurt, I managed not to cry. You cry, it only made it worse. Then she started saying how she never wanted me and do not that she should have just had an abortion. That she only kept me was so she could get money out of Charlie. I started to cry so she decided I needed something to actually cry about…" She stopped for a moment and took another deep breath.

"After she was done, she left me on the floor bleeding, and went and passed out. She broke my nose and three of my ribs that time. I managed to pull myself up and get to the neighbor's house. I finally had enough. I had stashed some money away for emergency so I bought a plane ticket. I showed up on Charlie's door step and I waited for him in the rain." She was looking down at her lap as she twisted the sheet in her hands.

I sat there stunned for I don't know how long. I couldn't believe what I just heard.

"Why…why didn't you tell us? At least tell me?" I was really at a loss. She was my best friend, we told each other everything.

"I didn't want you to worry or treat me differently."

I started to say I wouldn't but she interrupted me.

"Don't say you wouldn't have, because I know you would. I begged Charlie not to say anything to Emmett and made up the story about Phil." She still wouldn't look at me.

I tried to think back to that summer. Em, Jaz, and I were away at football camp. When we got home, we were surprised to see Bella there. She had already spent her allotted summer time with Charlie and had gone home right before we left for camp. I remember that she had some faint shadows of bruises but brushed it off because, well she's Bella. She's always hurting herself. I also remembered, Emmett saying something about her having nightmares but Charlie told him it was nothing to worry about.

"She beat you."

She just looked up at me with tears in her eyes and nodded slightly.

"How many times?"

"A lot. She was a mean drunk."

"And Charlie just let this happen!"

"Of course not!" She yelled before quieting back down. "He didn't know until that night. He had so much going on with being the chief of police and Emmett. I didn't want to burden him or worry him. It usually wasn't that bad most of the time. She certainly never broke anything before." She whispered.

"Why would you stay?" Why would she keep putting herself in that situation if she had an out? It made no sense.

"Because, she is my mother. She wasn't always bad. When she wasn't drinking she was sweet ditzy, Renee who would have Christmas in June. I felt a sense of responsibility for her. _I_ was the one who took care of her and the house. _I_ was the one who made her eat, cleaned, and made sure the bills were paid. Who was going to do that if I was gone?"

"She…_was_ my mother." Her voice barely audible.

"No one. _Fuck_ her. You should have let her rot away and die for what she did to you." I was so mad that she would keep herself in that situation because of some misplaced loyalty.

"Well wish granted because that's exactly what happened!" She yelled back.

"I…I'm sorry…I can't believe she would do those things to you and that you stayed. You're MB. It makes me sick thinking that she hurt you." Frankly I want to rip her throat out.

We sat in silence for a while. Bella just sat staring at the sheet she was still twisting between her fingers. I wanted to reach out and hold her. Tell her that everything was going to be ok but I didn't. I know her too well; those words wouldn't do any good.

"I had to crawl across her dead body matter." She finally said, breaking the silence.

"She has a will. It was on the table behind the bed she died on. The only way I could get to it was to crawl over her." Her voice was dry and very mechanical. I had so many questions but I just let her talk uninterrupted. This is why I'm here.

"You could tell where she died because there was this human shaped stain on the bed… it was so tiny, like a child. I could see what position she was lying in. She was there for twelve days in 120 degree heat. All her body matter leaked out into the bed as she withered away. I crawled over it. I had to." She swallowed hard. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged herself tightly.

"She was a hoarder. God Edward, you should have seen that house. Someone should have told A&E about her." She chuckled, even though it wasn't funny.

"I was in that house for three hours. _Three hours_ trying to find things. Just me, the flies, and my dead mom floating in the air." The thought that she went through that all alone made me sick to my stomach. She shouldn't have had to do that. I couldn't imagine having to do that if it was my parents.

She chuckled again, "We could probably make a small fortune recycling all the beer cans that are stacked up everywhere. I should collect them tomorrow when I go back."

"_You _are not going back there. We are gonna call a hazardous removal company. You can make a list of things you still need, but you are not going back in." I said firmly. Renee has already scarred Bella to her core and crawling across that mattress again, even seeing that mattress was gonna leave another mark. I was done letting Renee cause Bella pain.

"Edward." She started to protest.

"No, Bella. I'm not budging on this. Nothing good will come out of you going back in there." My voice was firm.

"Fine." She got up from the bed and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing.

"Go back to sleep Edward, I'm sorry I woke you up. You need your beauty sleep."

Her voice had gone back to being eerily calm and mechanical. I'd never seen this side of her before and it was starting to worry me. Generally she was an open book, but this…this is different. There is no telling how deep her scars go but I knew that after tonight I was never leaving her side. She needed to know that she was loved and wanted. I loved Bella. Friends with benefits was not an option anymore.

****A/N**

**Whew (wipes away tears and sweat coming from my brow) is it over? So some of you might be wondering what part happened to me in real life. Is she gonna tell us? I will tell if you want to know. All you have to do is ask. I will post a picture on my page that might give you a clue. **

**Thank you for reading this chapter. It truly means a lot to me. Please leave a review. I love hearing your thoughts, so please don't be shy. **

**XOZO **

**HB**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello my AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, & WONDERFUL readers! Have you missed me? I've missed you. Thank you for sticking with me, even though my updates aren't as regular as they should be. I know as a reader, you just want more and are dying to know how it ends. As a writer, life gets in the way sometimes. **

**I just want to thank, as always, my amazing, talented, and beautiful (inside and out) Wonder Twin JRDurham. Thank you for the brainstorming sessions and for being in my life. Did I mention she's talented? You should check out "A Road Trip to Remember. ", she had a hand in that. Also wanna thank bff Kimmie. She is always the greatest!**

**ps... I don't own Twilight**

Ch13

EPOV

"It's about time you showed up. I was beginning to worry that Lauren ran you down with her car and had you strapped to a bed in some remote cabin in the woods." Bella laughed as she started kissing my neck. The feel of her lips on my skin is a sensation that always lingers and stays with me long after I have left.

"Hmmm, you taste good…" she whispered in my ear as she nipped at my skin.

"Bella… I can't…" I stuttered. Come on Cullen, get it together, you have to do this.

"What do you mean can't? Can't get it up cause I'm pretty sure I can make you." She purred. She began running her finger down my chest. The spark of electricity I get when she touches me starts flowing through my body.

"Bella…"

"Shhhhh. Just relax and let me do all the work." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She was making it _really hard_ to focus. Man up, this is the right thing. Dammit.

Before she can get my pants undone I grab her hands, "Stop."

She instantly stiffens. "What is your problem Cullen?" I open my eyes and she is glaring me.

"I can't do this anymore…"

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore? I thought you were enjoying yourself. It seemed that way last night." She cocked her eyebrow and gave me her, you know I am right look.

"I am…I did….I was.." I stuttered again. Why is this so hard?

"But not anymore…Ok, well it was fun while it lasted. Thanks. You know how to let yourself out." Her tone was flat, void of emotion. Just like in Arizona. She turned to leave but I still had a hold of her hands. She tried to break my grip but I held on tight and pulled her to me.

"So just like that you're walking away?"

"It's not like we are together. Friends with benefits remember. You want to go back to being just friends then, fine. What more do you want me to say Edward? You're the one who doesn't want me, now let me go." She said, her voice still not changing.

"No." I said, shaking my head.

"It's ok. If your worried about me being upset, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Her voice raised an octave or two. She does that when she lies.

"I never said I didn't want you."

"Really, cause it seemed like that to me. _I can't do this_, seems pretty cut and dry. "

"If you weren't so stubborn and actually listen… and by the way, you are not fine."

"Yes _I am_."

"No, no you're not."

"Wow, your arrogance astounds me. _Really?_ Trust me when I say, I will be fine without Edward Cullen's almighty magic penis." She laughed as she yanked her hands away.

"Will you just _stop_. Just fucking stop! You are not _fine_. You haven't been _fine_ since you got that phone call that your mom was dead."

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around slowly.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are, telling me how I feel. If I say I'm fine, I AM FUCKING FINE!" Her voice was dripping with venom.

"You are not _fucking_ fine Bella. Let's see, things you've done since we stepped off that plane." I start counting on my fingers. "You've gone shopping with Alice three times! You hate shopping and it was _your idea_. How many chick flix marathons have you had? You hate those with a passion. Then there's your now twice weekly history days where you let Jasper go on and on about the Civil War, which I know you have zero interest in. Don't get me started about going to the gym with Emmett and letting Rose teach you about engines, really? It's like you're a completely different person."

"I'm turning over a new leaf, people do it all the time!"

"How about you just admit you don't want to be alone."

"That is ridiculous. If I didn't want to be alone I would have let you stay after we have sex. I know I don't have the best memory but I'm pretty positive I tell you to leave every night. So that argument is null and void. Anything else or can I get on with the rest of my night?"

"Funny how you didn't say go to sleep."

"What?"

"You said, so I can get on with my night. Not so you can go to bed, considering it is 11 o'clock at night and you have to work in the morning."

"Your point?"

"My point is, you don't sleep. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Good try with the makeup but you can still see you dark circles."

"So I don't sleep. Doesn't mean I'm not fine."

"Walking around like some happy, cheery, warped out version of your self is not fine."

"So now it's wrong to be happy? It's wrong to want to hang out with your friends? To have great sex?"

"It is when all you're doing is using us so you don't have to deal with your feelings."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"Yes it is and everyone is going to continue to let you. Alice will shop because she's loves playing Bella Barbie. Rose loves cars, that's her passion and she will talk to anyone about them. Emmett loves working out and Jasper loves history. Most of all they love you and just want to be there for you and if this is the only way you will let them. So that's what they will do no questions asked. But I can't do that."

"And why is that? You don't love me like they do?"

"No I don't." For a brief moment I saw her heart break but she quickly recovered.

"Well, this was a very enlightening conversation. Goodnight and goodbye." Before I could say anything more she walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Bella, open up." I pounded on the door.

"Go home Edward."

I know her and I know she thought I meant that I didn't love her. Which is not the case. I also know that what I am about to say could ruin our friendship forever.

"It's true, I don't love you like they do…" I ran my fingers through my hair tugging at it. Fuck this is hard.

"Because… Dammit, I love you more. Emmett, Alice, Rose, and Jazz, they all love you like a sister. But I'm…in love with you…" I said quietly. I waited for her to respond but the only sound that was coming from the other side of the door was silence. I told her I loved her and there was nothing but silence.

After about 10 minutes of nothing I couldn't take it anymore.

"MB I love you but I can't stand by and let you use me as a distraction. It hurts too much. When we have sex, it's great and wild and at times rough but when I look into your eyes all I see is hurt and pain staring back at me. I can't do it. I can't fuck the pain away. Are you forgetting, I was there _with _you? I held you in the shower as you cried harder than I ever thought possible. It broke my heart. And it breaks my heart now when you use me and then kick me out. I love you and I want to be there for you and help you but not like that and not at the expense of my own heart. Not when you make me feel like I could be easily replaced."

The door flew open and Bella looked up at me with a tear soaked face. She looked hurt, angry, and broken. So small and fragile.

"Get out." She said through gritted teeth.

"Bella." I reached for her to pull her into my arms but she jerked away.

"I said, GET OUT!" She screamed. She started to shove me towards the door.

"GET OUT!" Shove

"GET OUT!" Shove right into the wall. She opened the front door and with one last shove with all the strength she had, "Get. Out." She said in a strangled sob, slamming the door in my face.

*****A/N**

**It's a short one, but I think it made it's point. Dealing with death and the demons it can carry along with it can my hard. Everyone deals with it in a different way. Some stuff their feelings down and refuse to deal with them. They are _fine. _Some turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. Others, recognize the feelings and deal with them head on. Whatever the method, it is important to know that you are never alone. There is always someone out there who can help, who can listen. It might be a family member, a friend, a doctor, a co-worker, or a sometimes a complete stranger. It's ok to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak or pathetic. It makes you human.**

**Thank you soooo much for taking time out of your life to read my words. It means more to me than you will ever know. Please leave a review or a PM. I enjoy hearing what you have to say. Even if it to just chat.**

**Recs: _An Angry Man_, by katinki. This is an amazing story. **

**XOZO**

**HB**


	14. Chapter 14

***crawls out from under rock* OK, before I start really, I wrote this out once while waiting at the airport and the free wifi apparently has a time limit and shut off when I went to save it. Such bullshitness. Mini rant over. I know I am horrible about updating and I thank you to those still hanging in. How was everyone's holiday season? i hope it was enjoyable. I had a demon ovary yanked out of my body that has been reeking havoc for awhile now. I HAVE BEEN SAVED! (in southern preacher voice). I was hoping that because I was in so much pain that I would wake up a vampire. Sadly, no such luck. Have to say I am a lil dissapointed by this.**

**Now the thank you portion of this note: Many thanks to BFF Kimmie for all you do. She is the greatest. Just as many thanks to my Wonder Twin JRDurham, who I was waiting at the airport. She is the best prereader and for being a vehicle to bounce ideas off of. Shout out to Day_Zee, thank you for reading and for the review.**

**On with the show...I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 14

BPOV

_He told me he was in love with me._

_Not gonna open myself up_

_Not good enough_

_Can't _

_Won't feel that pain again_

_You will hurt me…._

I shook my head to get rid of the bad thoughts. Today is not the day and now is not the time. Today is Rose's birthday and it's time celebrate. Not only is she another year older and still drop dead gorgeous, Em put the icing on the cake by proposing to her last night. Em showed up early yesterday on his way home. He was sweaty like a whore in church and pacing back and forth rambling on about flowers and a ring and vanilla scented candles. I was about to ask him if this was him coming out and batting for the other team but before I could, he dragged me outside to see the classic car he had restored for her. There was an incredible ring dangling on a chain from the rear view and the back seat was full of roses. It was strange yet comforting to see this side of my brother. I told him he had nothing to worry about because they both loved each other. Besides, who else was gonna put up with him? Wham bam happily ever after. Besides Charlie, no one else deserves that more than Emmett. I mean, one of the Swan spawns should be happy and we all know that it just isn't in the cards for me.

Pulling up in front of the house, I get out and scan the block for Edward's car. Not a Volvo in sight. Although, he could have rode with Jasper. Deep breath Bella. You can do this. The closer I get to the door, the more my anxiety grows. I swear it feels like a giant block that has implanted itself into my chest. It's heavy and it makes my knees weak. I haven't seen Edward since I screamed at him and told him to get out. The night he told me he loved me. That was two months ago. They have been two of the longest months of my life. The saying, _"you don't know what you've got till it's gone"_ has a whole new meaning to me. I miss him. I miss my best friend. The hole in my heart has become twice as big. Sometimes the pain is crippling but I won't back down. I can't. He deserves so much better than me. How can I possibly be good enough for him? When your own mother deems you not worthy, it's easy to deduce that you never will be. Just ask Jake. Edward needs to see past the sex haze and realize it sooner rather than later. Until then, I will be strong enough to carry this burden for the both of us. A sort of penance, if you will.

"I'm getting married bitch!" Rose hollered at me as I walked through the door.

"What? Who's the lucky guy?" I snickered.

"You're awesome, brilliant, loyal, and sexy brother that's who!" Emmett bellowed

"I have another brother?" I said looking shocked.

"I knew I should have traded you for the BMX bike when I had the chance." He said.

I smiled and gave him a big hug. "I'm happy for you Emmy Bear."

"Thanks BB.

"So have we set a date?"

"Yes, a damn near impossible one!" Alice yelled from across the room.

"Fine then Pixie bitch, I will take my business elsewhere." Rose yelled back. With a devilish smirk on her face, she playfully grabbed Emmett's arm. "Come on Snuggle Bear, all I want for my birthday is to be your wife. OFF TO THE HITCHING POST WE GO!" Alice glared at her and pranced over.

"That," Emmett glanced at Alice, "is my cue to leave." He quickly made his way through the crowd.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale you will do no such thing. I said _damn near_ impossible, not impossible. I just so happen to be the best wedding planner in the state. No one else can do what I do and there is no way in hell that I will let you get married at the courthouse or some god awful hitching post. I am a _dream weaver_. I _make magic happen_. On May 11th you will be a vision in white walking down the aisle in your dream wedding." Alice huffed wagging her finger wildly at Rose.

"That is like a month from now." I said not really shocked. Once Rose knows what she wants she really doesn't waste time getting it or making it happen.

"Are you sure that's enough time?" I have all the confidence in the world in Alice but a full-fledged wedding in a month is a lot. She is gonna be hell on little tiny wheels from now until then. God help us all.

"I am a little offended that you two have so little faith in me. You are looking at the Helen Keller of wedding planning. I am a miracle worker. You have a list, a schedule, contacts, and you execute. Simple. Besides, I already have a wedding dossier on the both of you." Alice smile.

"A what?!" Rose and I said at the same time.

"A dossier, a file containing detailed records on a particular person or subject." Alice looked at us like we were stupid.

"Thank you, Webster. I know what the definition is. I want to know why and how." Rose said and I nodded my head in agreement.

"So I would be prepared when you two decided to finally get married, sillies. Clearly you know that I have been dreaming of my wedding since I was 5. I have a detailed binder and it is already planned, all I need is a groom. Once I got to know you both, I realized that you weren't going to have that so I started coming up with ideas based on my exceptional observation skills and my all-knowing, all-seeingness, and put them in a binder. Prepared, that is why I am the best. So at tomorrow's appointment Rose, I will show you what I came up with and then we go from there. I'm sooo excited." Alice said bouncing up and down.

"Creepy yet efficient." I said shaking my head.

"Wait till you see yours Bella, you're gonna love it.

"Riiiiggghht. Hate to break it to you Alice but you wasted your time. You can go ahead and toss mine, I'm not gonna need it."

"What don't you need?" Edward's voice came from behind me. Just the sound of his voice makes my heart beat a little faster and my vagina make grabby hands. I was really hoping to have at least one drink in me before I saw him. Damn Alice and her wedding talk.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Your future is not _nothing_ Bella. Would you please tell her to quit being a Debbie Downer and that her prince charming _will _come along, she _will_ have the wedding she secretly dreamed of, thanks to me, and have cute little Swan spawns. She_ will_ live happily ever after."

Kill me now.

"Will you please tell her that I am not being a Debbie Downer, simply a Realistic Ramona."

"Don't you know Alice that Bella doesn't believe in love? It is a mere fairytale told to young girls to give them a purpose, something to seek and obsess about when they get older. Something for Hollywood to profit from. Personally I think Bella is on to something. This idea of true love or love in general is a farce. You are setting these poor young girls up for heartache and disappointment. Love can be fickle and fleeting, and cruel. You can love someone and put your heart out there only to have it stomped on and thrown back at you all dirty and damaged. Why would anyone want to take that chance? I say cheers to MB for protecting herself." Edward raises his glass to me, smiles, winks, and takes a drink.

"Ok Cynical Sal…..well I can't wait to hear you best man speech. It should be riveting." Rose said confused.

"Add changing best man duties to the list of things to discuss tomorrow Rose." Alice said giving Edward a disappointed look.

"Clearly you two have spent too much time together over the years and Bella's twisted point of view is rubbing off on you."

"I wish she was rubbing me…" Edward muttered under his breath. Good thing those two weren't close enough to hear. I shot him a dirty look as I elbowed him in the side.

While this was going on Alice was still talking. "I mean, really you two. I am a bit surprised that you don't believe in love with three shining examples surrounding you. Charlie and Sue, Me and Jazzy and Em and Rose. They are getting MARRIED because they LOVE each other. Something is seriously wrong with you two. Bella I kind of understand with the whole Jake thing, but you Edward, I don't quite get. I know you were loved as a child so that's not it. Is there an actual ex-girlfriend in your closet that I don't know about?"

"He doesn't do girlfriends Alice, you should know that." I said a little too nicely. That is my other problem. Edward Cullen does not do girlfriends.

"He would prefer to hit it and quit it. Girls come with too much baggage and drama. He prefers to live a life as a professional bachelor." I smiled cocking my head to the side.

Before he could retort Jasper walked up giving Rose a big hug.

"Happy Birthday slash congrats Darlin'. I have no doubt in my mind that you two were meant for each other."

"Thanks Jaz." Rose smiled.

"See even Jasper believes."

"In fairies?"

"No in love."

"Of course. I found you, didn't I?" He smiled kissing Alice on the forehead.

Edward and I both made gagging noises.

"That. That right there." Alice said pointing at both of us.

"Just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean I can't see it with you guys. I am sooo happy for all of you. I admit that there are cases where it's real and it's forever. Just not for me." I gave her a pointed look that says please drop it now.

"All right bitches and gents, enough of this talk. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY and I wanna have fun. I for one, love this song. Let's dance!" Rose grabbed mine and Alice's hand and dragged us into the living room which has morphed into a makeshift dance floor.

"This _is_ my jam." I said laughing.

**EPOV**

"You know, you can just go talk to her." Jasper said coming up behind me.

"I would but she's avoiding me." I huffed. Ever since the initial run in, Bella has been making quite the effort to ignore or avoid. I had every intention of pretending like nothing has changed and we are still the same old Edward and MB but then they started talking about love…

"What is going on between you two?" I know that if I were to tell Jasper everything he could help me get perspective but it just seems wrong. I don't want what's going on affecting the group and confiding in Jasper would put him in an awkward position.

"We are currently, not seeing eye to eye." Not a lie but not entirely the truth.

"Does this have anything to do with how crazy town she's been acting lately? Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with her but I know for a fact she is not that interested in the Civil War. Not to mention, Bella Barbie, double work outs, and popular mechanics on top of work and painting." Jasper said looking worried.

"Don't forget that she's not sleeping." I pointed out.

"I figured as much. She should really talk to someone. The death of a parent is a huge deal and takes an emotional toll. Keeping it bottled up and pretending like nothing is wrong is not good on many levels."

"You have no idea Jazz. Her mom dying opened up some pretty deep wounds. Wounds she's been hiding for a really long time." I pinch the bridge of my nose. Just thinking about what Renee did to Bella makes me see red.

"How bad?" Jasper asks.

"Pretty bad." All I can do is shake my head. I wish I could tell him this too but it's not my story to tell. Good thing Jasper doesn't press.

"I called her out and tried to get her to talk. She is so fucking stubborn. Hence, the not seeing eye to eye." Again, not the entire truth but truth nonetheless.

"Well if she's gonna open up to anyone, it will be you. Give her time, she'll come around." He patted me on the back and headed off to find Alice.

I hope he's right.

**BPOV**

"You know what….I hates?" I slurred pointing at Rose.

"Guys with small dicks?" Rose said laughing.

"No. I mean yes that can be a hinder…ance to a happy vagina but that's not what I was gonna say. What was I gonna say?" Shit, I think I might be drunk.

"How bout' not getting the unimacorn butt plug you asked for, for your birthday?" Rose slurred.

"TMI Rosie."

"Did you hear that Emmett, I WANT MY UNIMACORN BUTT PLUG!" Rose yelled to my brother.

"Christmas, babe, Christmas!" Emmett yelled back. Gross, those two are seriously trying to scar me.

"My mother! I _hate_ my fucking mother. And guess what, she's dead! Dead I tell ya!" I started laughing. Probably the wrong expression because now she is looking at me all concerned.

"Hun." She said holding my hand.

"Don't." I yanked my hand away. "Don't look at me like you feel sorry for me. That right there is why I never told you guys." I poured myself another shot of tequila.

"Told us what?"

"What she did. Why I came to live here."

"What…." Rose started to say but Edward cut her off.

"Hey MB, why don't you let me take you home." Edward said holding out his hand.

Dammit he looks good. I just want to lick him. Maybe we can push aside this whole "love me" thing and he will let me lick him.

"My knight in shiiiiining armor. Suuuurrree Eddie. Take me home. But I have one condition."

"What is that?"

"You let me licks you." I try to say seductively. Rose choked on her drink.

Edward chuckled. "How about we discuss that on the way."

"Deal." I held out my hand to shake his. It's customary to shake when you make a deal. Right?

"Goodnight Rose. Happy Birthday and congrats again." Edward said giving Rose a hug.

"Yessss! Goodnight my sweet, sweet Rosie! GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!" I yelled.

"Ok drunky, let's get you home." Edward picked me up and carried me to the car.

**A/N******

**Soooo? Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Concerns?**

**Will Bella give in and have a heart to heart with Edward? Will Edward give in and let Bella lick him? I guess you'll have to tune in next time. **

**Recs: Frontline- ty Day_Zee, Episode, so good.**

**Thank you again for reading and please review, I love to hear your thoughts. **

**XOZO**

**HB**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello my brave, wonderful, amazing readers! Have I shocked your socks off by posting the next chapter so quickly? Well quickly for me anyway. I promise there hasn't been an invasion of the body snatchers situation happening. Inspiration, thanks to Wonder Twin and bff Kimmie, struck and I've been on a roll! **

**Shout out time! Shouts and much FLOVE to all my readers and reviewers. I love hearing from you. Make me giddy with joy. You have no idea how much it means to me that you take the time to read what my crazy brain puts out. AS always, my thanks, praise and FLOVE to bff Kimmie and JrDurham. I do not know what I would do without these two ladies in my life. **

**Sadly, I do not own Twilight. I do however to claim on the many voices in my head.**

**Enjoy!**

**CH 15**

**EPOV**

As soon as I put Bella in the car she passed out. Which is a good thing. Drunk Bella has little to no filter and I don't know if I am prepared for whatever she might say. I turn the radio down low, not too loud so that I can hear and make sure she is breathing. I glance over at her, her cheek is pressed up against the glass and a small amount of drool is dripping down her chin. Only MB could manage to look beautiful in full on zombie mode. If I told her that she would probably punch me and roll her eyes. I chuckle to myself, not probably, she would. Then she would say something smartass to cover up how uncomfortable compliments make her. She has never seen herself clearly. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I don't think she could ever be ugly to me.

"Edward…." She mumbles.

Awww, the sleep talking begins. My heart is pounding yes, she's dreaming about you. My brain, however, says, slow down Cullen this could be bad.

"love…" Does she love me?

She made a small whimper, "leave like Jake…"

She's breaking my heart. She thinks I am gonna leave her like Jake? The past two months of me keeping my distance has been torture.

"I could never leave you Bella." I said quietly.

"…miss you…" She mumbled.

"I miss you too MB. If you would quit being so stubborn and talk to me, we could solve that problem."

As I pull up in front of her building I nudge her a bit to get her to wake up. She lets out a grunt.

"Come on MB. Wake up. I gotta get you out of the car." Her eyes flutter open and she looks over at me with glossy eyes.

"I don't wanna."

"Bella."

"Shhh Edwardo, I am sleeping. Go… away." She slurred and tried to shoo me away with her hands. Instead, she ended up smacking herself in the face. I pressed my lips together to try and stifle a laugh.

"You can't sleep in my car." I said as stern I as could manage.

"Sure I can, homeless people do it all the time."

"Touche' but you are not homeless. You have a nice comfy bed calling your name."

She closed her eyes. "Mmmmmmm. Fine." Before I could get out of the car to help her she had already opened the door and was hanging upside down, caught

on her seatbelt.

"Help me! Your car is possessed! It won't let me go." The sight of her flailing around with a beet red face was just too much. As I help her upright I couldn't help but laugh. She's lucky I'm not Emmett. He would have videoed this and posted it to You Tube.

"It's not funny. I think we should take this as a sign. Betty wants me to sleep in her."

"Betty?"

"Yes, Betty. Cars need names too you know. Or else they are just wandering around without an identity. Sad." She shakes her head and whips a way a fake tear.

"No, I don't think that was Betty's intention. I think it means you're drunk and you forgot about a little thing called a seat belt." I reached over her and unbuckled her belt and scooped her up in my arms.

"Put me down! I am a big girl, I can walk." She started squirming in my arms.

"Bella."

"Edward." She said giving me her best angry kitty face.

"Quit being stubborn. Your coordination level is pretty low on a good sober day. Now shut your pretty little mouth and let me carry you up the fucking stairs."

"Fine."

Good thing she is light as a damn feather or walking up these stairs and unlocking the door might have been difficult.

"Guess what Edwards?" She whispered in my ear.

"What?" I asked as we walk through the door. I kick it closed with my foot.

"I love…." I stop in front of her bed. You, say you. I prayed silently.

"to lick you. I am bringing that discussion back to the table." Dammit. I drop her lightly on the bed. She lays there, hair splayed across the bed, looking up at me with a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Really, you remember that?"

"No amount of tekillyavodkajack will ever erase the need to lick you." She sat up and lifted up my shirt. As much as I wanted her to touch me, I know that I wouldn't be able to stop.

"Bella…"

She looked up at me with those big brown eyes and started to run her fingers lightly up and down my stomach. Fuck, my dick started to twitch. This girl will be the death of me I swear.

"I know Eddie, I do. But just give me one lick. One lick of those glorious abs for good ole' times sake." Fuck, now she's batting her eyelashes and pouting.

"You're killing me smalls. Killing me." I manage to get out roughly

"That's the point."

"I'll make you a deal. I will let you lick me once if you answer one question."

"One question for one lick?"

"Yep." With her hand still on my bare stomach she closes her eyes and thinks for what seemed like forever.

"My alcohol soaked brain says don't do it . My vagina however is shouting, DO IT! DO IT!" She starts fist pumping the air. God this woman is adorable. She stops talking for another minute. Judging by the look on her face, she's arguing with herself

"Vagina wins! Ask away."

"Are you ever gonna let your wall down and let me love you." I said quietly looking into her eyes. Trying to show her that I am serious and how much I love her in one look.

She stares back at me a long while. She started chewing on her bottom lip.

"Yes." She said whispered.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. I knew we wouldn't be having a conversation tonight and I know that she isn't gonna be ready anytime soon but there is hope. Hope is all I need. I am not a patient man but I will try to wait for her.

I looked down at her and smile letting go of her hand and lifting up my shirt more. "You only get one lick, so make it good."

A big smile spread across her face. She placed her hands on my hips, closed her eyes, and licked me slowly from the top of my jeans, across my abs, over to each nipple swirling her tongue around each one.

I let out a small moan. Blood was rushing down to my second brain who was screaming GIVE IN! Blue balls hurt! My other brain which was losing blood quickly was shouting, WILL POWER CULLEN. WILL POWER!

Without lifting her tongue and breaking momentum she began licked her way back down to the top of my pants. She flung herself back on the bed with a huge smile on her face.

"Well…you made that count," I managed to squeak out.

"Mmmm. The only thing that tastes better than that is your magic penis." She throws her hands over her face and starts to giggle. Her blush, even visible with her face covered.

Fuck, she is trying to kill me. Saying shit like that is NOT helping my will power.

"Alright giggle princess. Let's get you ready for bed." I start pulling off her shoes. Without thinking I pulled down her pants exposing her purple lace panties. So not helping.

"Expecting to get lucky?" I snarled. My, not so little Cullen, clearly trying to take over.

"Alice had this outfit picked out for me last week. Underwear included." I pinched the bridge of my nose and silently cursed Alice.

"Alright under the covers."

"Yes sir," She saluted.

I walked into the bathroom to grab a bottle of aspirin and then into the kitchen for a glass of water. By the time I got back to her bed she was asleep. I sat the aspirin and water on her bedside table. I leaned down brushed a stray hair off her face and touched my lips to her forehead.

"Sweet dreams MB."

*****A/N**

**Well whattcha think? Some of you wanted them to talk, others voted for the lick. I tried to do the best of both worlds. Edwardo got one answer. MB got one lick. My favorite part of this chapter, besides the lick of course, is the arguing with ones self. Brain against reproductive organ, who will win? What was your favorite part?**

**Please review, I love to hear from you.**

**Recs: An Introduction to Swirl and Daisy by m81170. This story bad me laugh so hard and Edward reminds me of my son. **

**Also, Emotional Warfare by completerandomness12- So good!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I am back in black, well my pants, sweater, and boots are black, my short is teal. Are you ready for the morning after? What will Bella remember? Is there secretly a video on You Tube with her flailing about upside down? I would to see that. BD2 is coming out this week, anyone gonna make the midnight trip? I am not ashamed to admit that I am, its tradition. You can't break tradition. I met my friend's daughter for the first time while waiting for New Moon to come out. She was 5 then and she put her hand on my face and she whispered, "Your cold and you are very pale...are you a vampire?" OMG, so cute! I told her I was half way there. Her mom always calls me the Real Life Bella, lol. **

**SHOUT OUT TIME! Shout out to ilithyae, I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS!. That you for taking time to read and review each one. It means so much to me. As per the usual, shout outs and mad mad FLOVE to JRDurham (Wonder Twin extraodinaire) and bff Kimmie. Cannot live with out these ladies. **

**Kimmie said this chapter is too short and she wanted more...I have a feeling I will make up for it in the chapters to come. **

**P.S. I don't own Twilight**

**Enjoy!**

**CH 16**

BPOV

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

The sound roused me from my alcohol induced coma. I can't remember the last time I actually slept and didn't wake up in a cold sweat screaming. Although as I start to sit up it feels as though evil sugar plum fairies are river dancing on my brain, with spiked heels.

"Fuck" I groan. I lie back down and cover my head with a pillow.

BEEP.

Forgot about that. Without uncovering my head I search around my night stand for my phone. I lifted the side of the pillow so I could see my screen.

**Water & aspirin on nightstand. Take/drink. - E**

**Txt me when you wake up, I will bring u something greasy- E**

**Edward said I can't come over & wake u up but we hv important things to discuss. CALL ME! - Alice in Wonder Land**

**U alive?- E**

**Beeellllllaaaa- A-mazing **

**If u don't txt in 15, I'm coming over- E**

I sit up slightly to grab the aspirin and water. Bottoms up. I look at the clock, 1:15. Holy shit I was out a long time. Before I could text anyone back, my front door opened and in walked Edward with a McDonald's bag.

"Afternoon sunshine." He said quietly. He held out the bag of McDonald's.

"Bella's hangover food, quarter pounder with cheese and fries." My stomach starts to grumble.

"Thanks." I said taking the bag.

"I just woke up, sorry." I say before taking a bite of my burger.

"Mmmm." I moan. Nothing like hangover food to make me feel a little better.

I look up and he shifts slightly looking anywhere but at me.

"Thanks for the water and aspirin too." I take another bite

"…always know what I need…" Wait did I just say that out loud? I look up and he has a little smirk on his face. He tossed his keys on the counter and walked over to the bed and plopped down next to me.

Both of us just sat there for a moment, not moving, not sure what to do. I hate this awkward shit. It's just Edward I chastised myself. _Yeah Edward who loves you,_ I thought. _Edward with the magic peen,_ chimed my vagina.

"So, Alice is jonesing to talk to you. I have held her off, but you know her, she won't wait much longer."

"I saw that she texted me, _twice_. Care to give a girl a heads up. Any idea what she wants?" I love her but I am too hung over to deal with all that is Alice right now.

"I believe it has to do with Rose and an epic bachelorette party." He said laughing. He knows how much I loathe party planning. That is what Alice is for. Tell me what to wear, what time, and where. I don't need to plan it.

**Just woke up. Feel like death. Call u when I come back to life- B**

**Bout' damn time. U've practically slept the day away lazy bones. Unthaw fast, we need to go over plans for Ro's BACHELORETTE PARTY! *jumping up & down.- The great & powerful Alice **

"Fuck me." I groan.

"I would but you kinda stink." He chuckled next to me. I bent down and sniffed. Ick, I smell like the homeless guy who sleeps on the park bench. My stomach started to churn. Wait, did he just say…

"Besides _not reeking_ like Homeless Joe, a nice hot shower would make you feel better too. Plus you know she's gonna be on her way over soon now that you're awake."

"You're probably right."

"Aren't I always?" He smirked. Cocky bastard.

I threw back the covers and slid out of bed. I was too distracted by my head feelimg like it was going to explode to realize I was only in last night's shirt and my underwear. I heard him cough. I turned just in time to see him check me out. I immediately started to blush.

_Nothing he hasn't seen before. Quit being a pussy,_ I thought to myself. As I walked over to my dresser to get some clean clothes, I started to remember bits from last night.

"You staying?" I said not turning around.

"Only if you want me." He said quietly. I didn't answer him, I just nodded my head yes and walked into the bathroom. I will always want him, the question is can I let myself believe that he actually wants me back?

As much as I hate to admit it, he was right. The shower did make me feel better. It also gave me a little bit of time to sort through the events of last night.

"_One question for one lick?"_

"_Are you ever gonna let your wall down and let me love you." _

"_Yes." _

I told him yes… but I don't know if I truly can. My wall's been up for a very long time; the thought of letting anyone all the way in scares the shit out of me. Rule #3- Don't let your wall all the way down. Danger. Remember what happened before. The fear alone is paralyzing. I know, that he wouldn't hurt me intentionally but if I were to do this and he hurt me, I don't think I could survive that. I could let him in halfway but that's not fair to him. For Edward to tell anyone, let alone _me,_ he loves them, is huge. If it wasn't me he said it to and the girl treated him the way I have, I probably would have ripped the bitch apart. I would've made her see that if Edward Cullen tells you he loves you, he means it. Pulling this bullshit is hurting him. Open your damn eyes.

The only problem is, the girl is me and I come with a shit ton of issues that keeps me from doing so. Seeing the hurt in his eyes and knowing that I am the one who is causing it tears me apart. I would never do it on purpose but the fear is just too overwhelming for me to stop. I don't know if I can get past it.

"Better?" He said looking up from his phone. He was still lying on my bed, propped up against the headboard.

"Much." I sat down next to him with my legs crossed. I grabbed a strand of my hair and started playing with it.

"So…" Edward said hesitantly running his fingers through his hair.

"So…" Fuck this is awkward.

"Last night was…"

"Enlightening?" Edward said.

I rolled my eyes. "I was leaning more towards embarrassing."

"Why on earth would it be embarrassing? It's not like you drooled all over my car window or attempted to get out of the car without unhooking your seat belt causing you to hang upside down flailing about screaming that my car is possessed." He said laughing.

"And you never threw yourself at me either." He stopped laughing and smirked.

"I didn't…" What is he talking about? I didn't throw myself at him. He looked at me, eyebrow cocked.

_Ummm, hello McFly, the lick! How could you forget the lick? _

"Oh God." I covered my face with my hands. My hair fell forward acting as a veil covering the rest.

"Betty sends her thanks, by the way. She now has an identity; a sense of being and purpose." He tried to say this as serious and passionate as possible but by his tone, he was failing.

"Christ." All I could do for shake my head. You would think after all the clumsy and ridiculous things I have done, I wouldn't get embarrassed anymore. Yep, no such luck.

"No need to be embarrassed, I thought it was cute." He said quietly. He reached up slowly and tucked my hair behind me ear. I immediately froze. He must have sensed this because he pulled his hand back quickly.

"You might want to Google the definition of cute. " I mumbled, my face turning red again.

"Bella." Edward said sighing.

"Ummm…so…yeah…. Thanks for not letting me have the, I came to Forks because my mom beat the shit out of me, talk." I said going back to twisting my hair.

"And for getting me home safe and sound."

"I figured it really wasn't the time or the place."

I nodded my head in agreement. "I know I need to tell them."

"There are _a lot_ of things you_ need_ to do."

"Besides, that's what friends are for."

I turned to look at him then, "Is that what we are…friends?" I asked nervously biting my bottom lip.

"Bella, you will always be my friend. My best one. That fact is _never_ gonna change." He just stared at me with those beautiful green eyes, letting that sink in. I gave him a little smile.

"Did you mean it?" He asked hesitantly. He looked like he was bracing himself. That face, breaks my heart.

_See what you are doing to him. Fix this_! My inner voice yells.

Before, I could answer, Alice comes bounding through my door.

"Belly Boo, do you having your party planning shoes on?"

"Oh, hi Edward. I didn't expect you here." She kept looking between us trying to figure out what was going on.

"I was just leaving. Stopped by to make sure MB was ok and deliver some hangover food." He got off the bed and grabbed his keys off the counter.

"Ick." Alice's nose crinkled. "That shit is bad for you. It's gonna clog your arteries and then you'll end up having a heart attack."

"Alice." I sighed shaking my head. I looked at Edward. He looked disappointed and annoyed.

"Thank you, Edward, for taking such good care of our Bella, but you need to shoo," she made shooing gestures with her hands. "We have important bachelorette party planning to do and I can't have you reporting back to Emmett. No boys allowed, unless of course you are Channing Tatum coming to show us your Magic Mike, which you are not so bye bye for now."

Edward signed and shook his head. "You girls have fun."

"Oh yeah, a blast." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes. He just chuckled and walked out the door.

"I thought he would never leave. Everything all right with you two?" Alice asked

"Yeah, all good in the hood."

"I have to tinkle before we get started. Don't go try sneaking out. It would be no use, I will always find you." Alice giggled as she skipped to the bathroom. She knew me too well.

I picked up my phone and fired off a quick text.

**Yes- MB**

"Ok, here's what I have so far. Dinner at Wave, an appearance at Tipsy's because we have to flaunt the bride to be, get her some free drinks, head to the house, play the drinking game we came up with in college, and towards the end of the night have a sexy cop come and "arrest" her for being too hot!"

"Sounds like you have it all planned out. Why do you need me?"

"Bella, you are the co-maid of honor. It's our duty."

"Duty, right."

"Now, our outfits…" Alice started pulling out pictures from magazines

BEEP

I looked down at my phone.

**:) – E patiently waiting**

I couldn't help but smile a little.

"What are you smiling about?" Alice asked.

Shit, I was hoping she wouldn't catch that. Who am I kidding it's Alice, she notices everything.

"Edward just texted to see if I had attempted to shoot myself yet."

"Jesus, I am not that bad!" Alice said throwing a pillow at me.

"Yes, yes you are. But I love you anyway."

"Of course you do." Alice smiled. "Tell him, I said you're not allowed to shoot yourself till after the wedding. Plus, you know how much I hate blood."

"Good thing you're not a vampire." I giggled.

"Oh! You're brilliant! We could be sexy vampires!"

I probably would have vetoed that right away but all I could think about was that he said he would wait…

****A/N**

**So whattcha think? She said yes and she meant it! He will wait. Although, I don't see him doing the patiently put very well. He might surprise me. What's with all the awkwardness? You would've thought they play mattress twister. Nope, just feelings. DAMMIT, feelings are the worst. Lol. **

**REC: As previously shouted out above, read anything and everything from ilithyae. I suggest starting with You Drive ME Wild. She is awesome!**

**Don't forget to review. Tell what you thought and what you'd like to see happen next. You never know, it just might end up in here.**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello my wonderful, beautiful, and down right amazing readers! Did you miss me? I tried to get this to sooner but I was unfortunately plague with some bad luck. In the last three weeks I was hit with one of my oh so fun episodes, an infection, and my beautiful car Megan got rear-ended giving me a bit of whiplash. If you haven't noticed already, I am not only a danger magnet (my lil bro calls me danger prone Daphne) I also do not have the healthiest immune system. Both of those things adding to my- Reasons I Wish There were Real Life Vampires So I Could Become One list. **

**So we left off with B and A planning an EPIC B'let party and E patiently waiting. Let's see how that all turned out shall we. In this chapter there are references to Eminem's group D12 & Dawson's Creek (a show I am not ashamed to say I never missed an episode of) can you spot them?**

**Shout out time! The every so lovely, amazing, talented, beautiful JRDurham deserves tons of love for being the BEST prereader and Wonder Twin on the planet. BFF Kimmie for being FUCKAWESOME and making me look smarter than I actually am. Last but not least ALL OF YOU for making some of my dreams come true!**

**p.s I don't own Twilight. Enjoy!**

**CH 17**

**RPOV**

1, 2, 3, 4…14… mother fuck'n Peter S. Bizarre! 1, 2, 3, 4…14… Fuck my life! I need my bitches, like now.

**Change of plans. My house ASAP- Rose**

I sat down at the table and stared at the wall waiting for their reply.

**WHAT!? No changing plans. Finish getting ready- A-ww Hell no**

**911? ps. She's pulling my hair!-B**

**Alice, put B's hair down & get here NOW! This is a CODE NO FLO!- R**

**B, CODE NO FLO. Use excessive force.-R**

I knew code no Flo would get them here quick. Good thing Bella doesn't live to far away. Time felt as if it were dragging by like a zombie with no legs. Fuck you father time, fuck you.

While I waited I started pulling curlers out of my hair. Where the mother fuck are those bitches?

"The cavalry has arrived!" Alice shouted as they barrel through the door.

"About fucking time! Where the _hell_ have you…" I stopped and started laughing at the sight of those two. Alice, her hair in curlers, vampire fangs, wearing a red corset/tutu combo with black fuck me pumps. Bella looked even crazier. Half her hair was in curlers, only one eye had makeup done. She was wearing a flannel, a black tutu, and her chucks.

"Stop laughing." Bella said shaking her head.

"Sorry, but the two of you look ridic. I'm surprised you went out of the house like that."

"Zip it Rosalie. You called a Code No Flo; I would never leave the house like this otherwise, unlike Bella, no offense dear. So you're welcome." Alice says handing her a grocery bag.

"I feel like Brittney walking barefoot into a gas station bathroom." Alice muttered.

"What is this?"

"The reason why it took so long and double the proof that we love you."

I opened up the bag to find six pregnancy tests. I hate to admit it but I started to get choked up as I stared down out the pee sticks that would tell me, my future. Test**s **that my two crazy ass best friends went out to get looking like hot messes.

"Rosie are you crying?" Bella asked sounding shocked

"No, it's just shit timing in my eye." I said, quickly wiping away a traitor tear.

"Aww Rosie Posie." Alice said giving me a quick squeeze.

"Ok, no time to waste, get your ass in there and take a test. I want to know if I'm gonna be an Auntie" Bella says grabbing a test out of the bag and handing it to me.

With a deep breath, I started toward the bathroom. Ok, sit on toilet, pee on the stick that holds your future. Deep breaths Hale. You're not prego. It's just stress. Stress from planning a wedding with Alice the wedding planner Nazi. Anyway, the doctor said the chances of ever getting knocked up were slim to none.

I quickly washed my hands and set a timer on my phone for three minutes. I paced back and forth in front of the counter. Should I watch it? No, a watched pot never boils. I keep pacing.

"Rose is everything ok?" Bella says quietly outside the door.

As I walk past for the gazillionth time I see two pink lines starting to form. No, no, no, no…. This is…it has to be wrong. The timer on my phone goes off and two very distinct lines are standing out like two whores in church.

"Fuck!"

"Rose? Should we come in?" Alice calls out to me trying to keep her voice light.

"I'm taking another one." I call back as I rip open the box to another test, and pee on another stick.

This time I just sit on the toilet with my head in my hands. I can hear the muffled voices of Bella and Alice outside the door.

"If she is pregnant, it's going to throw a wrench in all our plans tonight."

"_Really_ Alice. Rose is in a crisis. Worrying about that should be the _last _thing on your list." Bella scolded.

"Of course it is. I am a multi-tasker Bella. I can worry about multiple things at once. I was just thinking that if she is and we cancel, the girls are gonna wanna know why. Clearly we can't tell them she is prego. Emmett should be the first, well the third but definitely the most important person to know. Then they have to decide what they want to do."

"_Alice_!"

"What? _I am_ pro-choice. Back to what I was saying. If we tell them she is sick, her mom and no doubt Esme will come over to mother her. One look at her….a mother knows B, a mother knows."

"I hate it when you're right."

"Of course I'm right, why you ever doubt me is beyond me. B, that is why I'm here. To think of things like this."

Shit, Alice makes a good point. What am I going to do? You know what, I'm not pregnant, the test was wrong. I have nothing to worry about. The timer went off. I took another deep breath. A plus sign.

"A mother fucking plus sign!" I yell. There has to be a malfunction. Clearly I peed on two defective sticks.

"Ok, ladies grab a test. You are peeing on sticks." I said as I opened the door.

"Ummm excuse me what?" Bella says to me dumbfounded.

"I don't care what these things say, I am not lego my prego. So you two are going to pee on two, while I drink more water and pee on two more. Clearly you bought a one percent batch." I huffed, getting me a bottle of water.

"Or you could really be…"

"Alice, shut your mouth and go pee on a stick. Bella, you too. Go use the other bathroom." I demanded.

They just stared at me. "Move it bitches, we ain't got all night. Alice I'm coming in with you."

**BPOV**

I can't believe Rose is making me pee on a stick. The things I do for my friends. I tear open the test and take a squat. I hope it's not like peeing in a cup for the doctor; I always end up peeing on my hand. So gross.

I do what I need to do, put the cap on, wash my hands and wait. Shit! I can't believe Rose is pregnant. Emmett is going to flip, in a good way. He's always wanted kids. Hell, he is a big kid himself. He will be such a great father. And I will be the best Aunt.

I decided a long time ago that I never wanted kids. I don't know the first thing about being a mom. _Clearly_ I had such a shining example. Besides, being responsible for another human being; knowing your every action is helping to shape who they will become. That is a lot responsibility not to mention a huge weight to bear. What if I do something to screw them up? What if they're like me and incapable of opening up to someone. It's too much. I will be perfectly happy being an Aunt.

"Oh my god! Oh my god Rose!" I hear Alice yell from the other bathroom.

Well, clearly Rose is pregnant. I smile. I can't wait to see Em. I flip open the cap debating on whether or not to look, I know I'm not pregnant. Just as I was about to throw it away.

"Holy shit balls…"

**APOV**

"Oh my god! Oh my god Rose!" I yell as I look down at my stick. Two pink lines the color of my favorite Jimmy Choos are staring right back at me. I look over at Rose who is staring down at two _more _positive tests. She looks up at me then down at mine.

"Holy fuck Alice!"

"I know!"

"Clearly the Rite Aid down the street has a bunch of one percenters." Rose said shaking her head.

"Or maybe we are both just pregnant. We are pregnant Rose! We are going to have the cutest little babies who will grow up, and be very best friends. Oh my god this is so EXCITING! I have so much to do. Clearly Jasper and I are going to have to get married ASAP. I will not have a child out of wedlock and I most certainly will not be a fat bride. Let's see, I could plan one for next month, I have everything basically all planned out." Alice pretty much got out in one breath.

"Maybe we should call the 1-800 number on the box and complain. Demand our money back." Rose stammered.

"I just have to make some calls. Wait, no that's not gonna do. I want to get married on September 12 because it's the date we met. I will just have to suck it up and go to the courthouse. Yes, the courthouse will work. Gives me plenty of time to get things together and our little ones will be big enough to walk down the aisle, with help of course! OMG this is so exciting Rose. Jasper is gonna flip. He always wanted kids."

"Alice, breathe. I am freaking the fuck out here. I'm not ready to be a mom. In fact, I was told a long time ago that I couldn't have kids. I already resigned myself to being barren. What if Emmett doesn't want a kid? Rose said actually looking scared.

I put my hands on the sides of her arms. "Rosie Posie, _everything_ will be ok. Take a deep breath. Everything happens for a reason. You have been granted a miracle hunney. A miracle! Don't worry about Emmett. He will be sooo excited. He is going to be a great dad and you will make an amazing mom. Ok." I said smiling.

She took a deep breath. "Ok."

"Now let's go tell Bella."

"I still can't believe you're this excited." Rose said flatly as we walked down the hall.

**BPOV**

I don't know how long I stood there with that test in my hand. How the hell am I _pregnant_? This is sooo not happening. I could feel the panic starting to set in.

_You are going to be a terrible mother._

_He'll leave as soon as he finds out._

_You're too messed up to be anyone's mother. _

_The kid is going to end up hating you. _

_You're not good enough…_

"Bella, are you done yet. We have some amazing news!" Alice said knocking on the door, snapping me out of my self-deprecating monologue.

"Yeah, give me a sec." I take a couple deep breaths to try and calm down.

There is no way in hell I am going to tell them I am pregnant. There would be the question of who the dad is and then I would have to tell them about the friends with benefits. Alice would flip. Then there is the, I'm in love with you. Yeah, I'm not ready for that. Besides, I want to go to the doctor to confirm before I tell anyone. Tell Edward. I wrapped the test with a ton of toilet paper and threw it in the garbage.

"So, what's the amazing news?" I said when I open the door. Rose is sitting at the table with her head in her hands and Alice has a huge smile on her face looking like she was about to shoot through the roof.

"WE'RE PREGNANT!" She squealed jumping up and down clapping.

"Congrat…wait, we?"

"Yes, _we_. Turns out I'm pregnant too! Can you believe this? Rose and I are going to be pregnant at the same time and our kids are going to grow up the best of friends."

I am so shocked right now; I don't know what to say.

"Well, you know how my body is and Aunt Flo tends to come when she wants. Sometimes she skips a month. I have been feeling rather off but I just figured it was stress dealing with Rose's wedding and then you know worrying about you. I never put much thought into it."

Fuck, I have been so stressed and fucked up with the whole mom thing I guess I never thought about it either.

"Wow. This is…"

"Crazy as fuck. " Rose said lifting her head up.

"You could say that." Little did they know…. God, Alice will flip her shit when she finds out. First thing Monday morning, I'm gonna make an appointment with Dr. Cope.

"OK, ladies. Now that Rose and I are both PREGNANT!" She squealed again bouncing up and down. "Here is Plan B for the night."

"Plan B? When did you have time to formulate a Plan B?" Rose asked

"What is with you two and the doubting my mad skills? I always have at least two backup plans. Granted, I didn't expect this particular situation but I am Alice the Incredible, I think on my feet. Ok, here's how it's going to go. First and most importantly we need finish getting ready. I can only be a hot mess for so long. Then we will head to the restaurant early and order the table a round of shots except, ours will be water, including you Bella. I'm sorry to ruin your fun but we are gonna need all sober hands on deck. Ladies come, eat drink, be merry, and all that jazz. When we get to Tipsy' s, you two will take the girls to the VIP area, I will go talk to Riley and tell him to make sure, all drinks that are for Rose and us are non-alcoholic. This is going to take a lot of tricks to keep people from noticing anything so we need to be on our game. I know for a fact the mothers are only staying for dinner so we won't have to worry about them." She kept talking as she made her way over to were all the alcohol we bought for tonight was. She grabbed the vodka and started pouring it down the drain.

Rose and I both bowed our head in silence for the loss of the good vodka. We were both looking forward drinking that.

"This will be our bottle for the drinking game. The more liquored up we get these ladies, the less they notice. The tricky part, well at least for B, will be pretending to be drunk. We can't be downing shots like water," she giggled, "and not appear somewhat drunk. Night ends, we send the girls back in the limo home and WHALLA, no one is the wiser."

"Why would that be tricky for me and not you two?" I asked a little hurt.

"Cause you're a terrible liar." The both said in unison.

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it. They were right, I am a terrible liar. Well fuck. I'm screwed.

"Alice and I used to go out to different clubs and pretend to be someone else all the time. Never broke character." Rose said smugly.

"My favorite was Lola the soon to be high school English teacher from London." Alice giggled.

"Every boy has a hot teacher fantasy. I got so much ass out of that." Rose laughed.

"You two are terrible. Genius, but terrible." I shook my head.

"Whatever, Miss Hit it and Quit it." Rose stuck her tongue out at me.

"Ok, so everyone good on the plan? You know what needs to be done?"

We both salute, "Yes, drill Sargent!"

"At ease soldiers. Off to the bathroom with you, I need to finish my masterpieces. And Bella, for god sakes, take off the ugly flannel." Alice shooed us along.

We have arrived back at Alice and Rose's with Leah, Emily, Angela, Kate, Irina, and Jessica in tow. The girls are drunk. So far the night and Plan B has been pretty good and gone off without a hitch, well mostly.

At the restaurant I spied the mothers giving Rose and Alice strange looks while whispering to themselves. I'm pretty sure they know, mother's intuition and all but they never called them on it so that's good. Everyone ate, drank, mingled, and Rose opened presents. Tipsy' s was where we ran into a little snag. Somehow a free drink got past us and Rose took a sip, but spit it back out. I tried my best to act like "drunk Bella" but Angela made a note that I didn't seem drunk enough. I promptly provided her with two more shots and dragged her to the dance floor. And now, the home stretch, hopefully all will go well.

"Ok, bitches, who's ready to play Dare to Drink the Truth!" Rose shouted acting all drunk and crazy.

"We are!" Everyone shouted. Alice and I got up and grabbed the drinks.

"Everyone knows the rules. Roll the dice, do whatever the square says. It could be a question you have to answer, a dare you have to do, how many shots you have to take, or a combination."

"I'll go first." Rose rolled the dice.

"Where is the craziest place you have ever had sex? God there is so many…Emmett can be insatiable sometimes. Ok, I'll list a couple and you guys can decide which is crazier." She starts counting on her fingers. " Taco Bell bathroom, ball pit at a pizza place, Zip Trip bathroom, a walk in freezer at the same Zip Trip, maintenance closet at an amusement park, broad daylight in the park, a gondola…"

"Jesus Christ, Rose! You're such a whore." Alice laughed.

"Whatever Miss behind the speaker at a concert." Rose quipped back.

"What? Who, me? I don't know what you are referring to Rosalie Hale." Alice said grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Hand me the dice nympho." I said laughing while I took my turn.

"Do an impersonation of the person sitting to your right." I groan. I hate this one. Ok, channel drunk Bella. I stood up and stumbled a bit causing everyone to laugh.

"Someone's drunk." Leah shouted. Yep, inner high five to me.

I stood up put on my best bitch face and said, "I swear to fuck Emmett Cullen, if you do not behave I WILL staple your nuts to your leg!" Everyone broke out into hysterical laughter.

"Oh my god that was perfect!" Alice said whipping a tear from her eye.

"Would you really staple his junk to his leg?" Angela asked shocked.

"Yes." Rose, Alice and I said at the same time.

"I've actually seen her do it. Not Emmett but some guy in college." I said shaking my head.

"Rose, you didn't?" Kate said.

"Hell yeah I did. Motherfucker tried to finger me at a party when I clearly told him to back the fuck off." Rose said full a pride.

"Ok, it's my turn now." Jessica said grabbing the dice out of my hands. That girl annoys the piss out of me. Why did we invite her again?

"Take one shot and tell everyone who your celebrity crush is, your real life crush, and what you want to do with them." She downed another shot of tequila and then sat for a minute thinking.

"For my celebrity crush, Justin Bieber…"

"WHAT!?" We all yell.

"He's legal now." Jessica smiled "Plus have you seen the way he dances?"

"He looks like he is 13! Don't you want a guy who looks like a man? Who can pound the shit out of your pussy. I guarantee that scrawny lil boy isn't capable of give'n it to you good." Rose said as she pretend she was "pounding" into Alice, who was bent over making sex noises. The room bust with laughter again.

"No, I want him to pretend like it's his first time so I can teach him things." She wagged her eyebrows up and down. "Besides, the pounding would come from my real life crush, Edward." Her face turned red and she had a huge smile on her face. A smile I want to rip off slowly and painfully with my bare hands.

"EDWARD!" Alice yelled. I shot both of them a don't you dare tell them anything or I will murder you right here in front of witnesses look.

"Good choice Jessica." Irina said giving her a high five.

"He is one _fine_ piece of ass that man." Kate chimed in.

Seriously! I don't consider myself a jealous person but right now I am seriously seeing red and so close to kicking some ass.

"The things I bet that man could do to you." Angela said licking her lips. I had to laugh because, they have no idea.

"_Right!_ I want him to grab me, throw me on a table and fuck me every which way from Sunday." Jessica said staring off into space, no doubt replaying her fantasy out in her head. Again, I find myself wanting to rip her face off. Although props for the table, he did that once and it was probably some of the best sex we've had.

"I heard he has a magic penis, a very big magic penis." Rose said smiling at me.

"Rose!" I yelled. All the other girls started talking all at once about Edward's magic peen and all I could do was groan internally and think of a way to make them stop without looking obvious.

"Kate, it's your turn." I said handing her the dice. She grabbed the dice but just as she was about to roll the doorbell rang.

Leah jumped up to get it.

"We received several complaints about this residence. May we come in?" Said a man with a deep voice.

"Umm sure officers." Officers? Crap, I totally forgot about the stripper we hired. Except I thought we ordered one not three. When all three of them came into sight, the room went quiet and our mouth all collectively fell open. Standing in front of us was Edward, Emmett, and Jasper in full on cop uniforms.

"Oh…My…God." Jessica managed to say.

"No fricking way." Angela said.

"What the…" Alice, Rose, and I said at the same time.

"We got a report saying there was too much hotness in one location." Emmett said in his deep cop voice.

"Really? What are you gonna do arrest us?" Rose smirked.

"Put us in handcuffs!" Alice chirped wagging her eyebrows.

"Oh no little ladies, something much better." Jasper drawls.

"Maestro." Edward said pointing to Emmett. Emmett pushed the button on the stereo and Ginuwine's Pony came blasting through. The boys grabbed their hats and tossed them at us ladies who were now hooting and whistling. Then they launch into their best Magic Mike impression. They were gyrating, ass shaking, grinding, swiveling hips… The whole time Edward's gaze never left mine. Fuck My Life. Good thing I'm not drunk cause I probably would have jumped him right here. Sweet Jesus he took off his shirt. I may or may not have moaned.

"OMG THE IS THE BEST BACHELORETTE PARTY EVER!" Jessica yelled as she was licking her lips at Edward. That bitch better back the fuck up, he is mine. Wait…what? Before I could process that thought Jessica stumbled over to Edward started rubbing on his chest and humping his leg. Oh, HELL NO. I started to get up when Rose stepped in.

"Jessica quit humping Edward's leg and go sit down. I do believe these boys are supposed to be giving the bride and her maids of bitches a lap dance." She smirked and pulled out three dining room chairs and told Alice and myself to sit. Just as the boys approached us the song changed to Pour Some Sugar on me. The ultimate stripper song and I did an internal fist pump as Edward straddled me.

I grabbed onto the side of the chair for dear life. Do not touch the strippers. That's a rule, right? All I could do was look up at him and bite my lip. I can feel myself turning red. He places both his hands on the back of the chair on either side of my head and starts grinding on my lap.

"Fuck me." I muttered through clenched teeth.

He leaned in closer and whispered, "You can plan on it." I moaned slightly closing my eyes. He is trying to kill me. I am going to internally combust in front of everyone.

"You got the peaches I got the cream." Edward mouthed the words with a smirk.

"I swear to Jesus…you are really trying to kill me." I said quietly

"MB, I think you're supposed to pray to Jesus not curse him out." He chuckled as he was grinding on my lap. Then he stopped suddenly, leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "I'm not trying to kill you. I'm trying to get you soaking wet and horny. This is me patiently waiting."

"If this is you patiently waiting, God help me…" I muttered.

Before he could torture me any further the song came to an end. The boys removed themselves from our laps and all the girls were hooting and hollering. Jessica came over and tried to push me out of my chair. "My turn." She yelled.

"Back the fuck up Jess. You reek of tequila and desperation." Rose glared at a stunned Jessica.

"All right bitches it's been fun, but my panties are soaked and I need some dick. Hugs, loves, and get the fuck out!" Rose yelled as she grabbed Emmett by his junk and dragged him into her room slamming the door behind her.

"I second that. Come on Jazzy, I've been a bad, bad girl. Bring the cuffs." Alice squealed as she skipped you her room was Jasper not far behind.

"You heard the lady, get the fuck out. Trust me when I say, you _do not_ want to be here. Limo is waiting out front to take you ladies home." I said laughing.

Everyone said their goodbyes and stumbled out to the limo. I turned to see Edward sitting in the chair taking a shot of tequila.

"Sooo…" He started.

"OH GOD BABY! RIDE THAT DICK!" Emmett yelled.

"_Really_, now I have to bleach my ears out. OK, officer let's get you home. I grabbed his hand and dragged him to my car.

"So how did you guys know we had a stripper coming?"

"Jasper. Alice was in the shower and her cell rang, it was the agency confirming her umm order. He told them never mind there was a change of plans. It was Emmett's idea to play Magic Mike." He said as he reached over and stroked my thigh. I tried my best not to moan out loud.

"That sounds like something my brother would come up with." I laughed trying not to think about his hand rubbing up and down my thigh.

"Yeah, we watched the movie including the bonus dance scenes. You should have seen Emmett. He was taking notes and everything. Hilarious!" Edward said laughing. I could totally picture Edward and Jasper sitting on the couch looking uncomfortable while Emmett's all up close to the screen taking notes. I had to laugh. I _sooo_ wish I was there to see that!

"What did you think of it?" I asked.

"The storyline sucked, The Kid was a douche, the two main chicks were hot, the Channing dude can move I'll give him that, I will never watch True Blood the same way again, Kevin Nash _really_, and Mathew… I have no words."

I had to laugh. "Yeah, that movie was not made with the storyline in mind or for straight men for that matter."

"Oh, and the only person's face I want near my junk is yours."

"Aww, you sweet talker you." I said sarcastically. I looked over at him. His head was back against the seat rest. His eyes were closed and he was smiling.

"True Life fact MB, true life fact."

"How much did you have to drink in order to pull it off?"

"Enough. What about you? I noticed you were playing the, I have alcohol poisoning cause I drank too much game. Oddly you don't seem drunk at all." He opened his eyes and was looking at my intently.

Well that's because I might have a fetus growing inside of me that is yours. Yep, can't say that. Not until I know for sure.

"Funny story, well maybe not funny haha but…Rose and Alice are pregnant."

"Holy shit balls!"

"I know right. Can you imagine what a pregnant Rose and Alice will be like? At the same time!"

"The _horror_!" He said looking scared.

"Don't let on that you know, I'm sure you will hear all about it tomorrow so act surprised."

"No prob Bob."

"Thanks."

"Wanna know a secret?" He asked not turning to look at me.

"Sure."

"I'm kinda jealous of them." He said quietly. I just sat there speechless. I just kept thinking, I might be pregnant and debating on whether or not I should just tell him now. He hand stopped rubbing my thigh. Say something idiot.

"Well for now you can just be the best Uncle on the planet until you find a girl to procreate with." As soon as I said that my heart started to ache and my finger start to hurt. The thought of him having babies with someone else was not something I wanted to think about.

"I've already found her." He said quietly. He reached up and touched my hand where I was absent-mindedly rubbing the pain out of my finger.

_He only told you that so you would sleep with him. _Thank sweet baby Jesus that we pulled up to his house when we did.

"All right officer, home sweet home." I said getting out of the car quickly.

As soon as we got in the door he grabbed me, spun me around and pinned me up against the wall with his body. He began peppering small kisses down my that felt good.

"Stay with me tonight." He whispered in my ear. I let out a small moan.

"Edward…" If I stayed, there is no doubt that we would have sex. Which, as good as that sounds might not be the best idea. We have a lot me need to talk about first. He grabbed my face and kissed me before I could obsess about it anymore.

"Stop that brain of yours. If it feels good, do it." He said as he pulled away from me.

"Did I mention you look really hot right now?" He moved his hands down the side of my body slowly making his way under my tutu. He grabbed my ass and hoisted me up. I instinctually wrapped my legs around his waist.

"You suck at patiently waiting."

He just smirked at me. Good God.

"I'm gonna count to ten and then I'm gonna take you into my bed and fuck you. If you don't want me, all you have to say is stop." He said as he made his way to his bedroom. He returned to kissing my neck.

"One.." Kiss.

"Two…" Kiss.

"Three…" Kiss. In my head I picture my brain waving the white flag. Between the lap dance and this…yeah I give. My whole body is on fire and holding out is torture. We can talk later.

"4,5,6,7,8,9,10." I said, my voice a little husky.

"Hmmmm I win." He said as we landed on his bed. I knew what he was doing. He's exploiting my weakness. I might be a little mad if this didn't feel so fucking good.

It continued to feel fucking good, _all _three times.

*****A/N**

***Hides behind dainty hands* So who saw that coming? Rose, Alice, and possibly Bella are lego my prego! I feel REALLY bad for Em and Jasper, Rose and Alice pregnant is gonna be...interesting to say the least. Poor B, she has enough on her plate. How do you think she is going to react if the doc confirms that she is carrying Eddie boy's baby? How will E react? He did say he wanted her to have his babies? I know Rose is kinda freaked at this moment but she will come around. Like Alice said, her baby is a MIRACLE! Due to health issues, I was also not suppose to have children either but I, like Rose was blessed with a miracle baby, who will actually be 11 soon. **

**Did you figure out the nods to D12 and the Creek? If you review, I will tell you :). The drinking game is modeled after my friend's game she came up with in high school. It's a fun game, but damn you need to be able to put alcohol away. **

**Did you enjoy reading and imagining the Magic Mike scene as much as I liked writing it? Anybody else want to rip off Jessica's face? And what's with her Beibers crush? Who is your celebrity crush? I personally would like to be in a Adam Levine Justin Timberlake sandwich. Those two are just too yummy for words. (insert dirty, dirty thought here). **

**Also, anybody else notice Rosalie curses a lot? Perhaps they need to start a swear jar before the little bundle of Swan joy comes into the world. **

**I hope you enjoyed reading. Please review, I love to hear your thoughts. **

**p.s Have you read You Drive Me Wild yet? **

**HB**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello my wonderful, beautiful, & patient readers! I have missed you so. RL has been busy for me. I turned 31, a number which doesn't seem right. Sometimes I feel like I should still be 21 and other days I feel closer to 61. My amazing spawn turned 11, which is even harder to believe than me being 31. It never ceases to amaze me that time can fly by so fast but also drag on at a snails pace at the same time. Leaving most of us, myself included, wondering where the time has gone and wondering how we got to this place in our life. I also got to see Cali for the first time and spend a wonderful weekend with on my Wonder Twins turf. There was also many other things thrown into the mix since my last update but those will just bore you to death and that really isn't the reaction I want to evoke with my writting. **

**Thank you to everyone who has read the ramblings and voices in my head. I LOVE YOU ALL more than I can possibly express in words. Thank you to my beautiful WT and to bff Kimmie. Love these ladies and don't know what I would do without them in my life. **

**So I thought about dividing this chapter into 2 but since you waited so patiently for me I opted not to. I hope you enjoy. I'm off to hide under a rock. Oh I don't own Twilight.**

**Ch18**

_I stood in front of the mirror running my hands over my lacey white dress that Alice guilted me into. As my hands come to the small bump that is barely visible I stop. I barely recognize myself. Not because my makeup and skin look flawless or that my curled hair is perfectly in place. Because let's face it, the flawless, put together look is more Alice and Rose then me. It's the fact that the eyes staring back at me look depressed, scared, lost, and full of dread. What is wrong with you; the bride is supposed to be happy on her wedding day. You are marrying Edward, your best friend and the man you love. The man whose child you are having. _

_You are going to be a terrible mother._

_Get real he's only marrying you because of the baby._

_It's never gonna last._

_The kid is going to end up hating you. _

_You're not good enough…_

_I shake my head trying to get my inner bitch to stop. Tears started streaming down my face and it was getting harder and harder to breath. Before I could get my shit under control a sharp pain ripped through my abdomen. I stifled the scream that was lodged in my throat with my fist and instantly dropped to my knees. I have never felt this level of pain before and for me that is saying a lot. It felt like an eternity laying on the floor in the fetal position, even though it was probably only a few minutes. Finally the pain subsided enough so I could stand. I looked in the mirror again; my perfect makeup was smudged, my perfectly in place hair had come undone and there was a big red spot spreading across my dress. _

_Oh God…. _

_Happy now? You killed your baby. Didn't the doctor tell you stress was bad for the baby? _

_No, no, no… tears started to well up again. _

_Why are you crying? This is really what you wanted isn't it? You were gonna be a terrible mom anyway. _

_I ripped the dress off as fast I could. I couldn't stand the feel of it on my skin, like it was burning me. I threw on the clothes I arrived in back on and ran out the door leaving my bloody dress lying on the floor. In the background were faint voices saying my name but I didn't stop. I couldn't._

"_Bella."_

"_Bella."_

"_Isabella."_

_I needed air and I need to get out of here. I didn't even stop to turn around as I ran out the church doors. I just kept running._

I felt a firm hand grip my knee, springing my thoughts back into the present.

"Ms. Swan is everything all right?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Doctor Cope. So what is the verdict?"

"You are not pregnant." Doctor Cope said quietly. Her face was full of concern. She looked like she was ready for me to crack.

"I'm not pregnant?" I said letting out a shaky breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"No. The test you took was a false positive. My guess is, by looking at you, due to stress. When was the last time you slept?"

"Last night."

"For how long?"

"Three hours." I thought about lying but I realized that I'm a terrible liar and she would see right through me.

"Is that normal for you?"

I let out a small laugh. "I wish. Three hours is good night."

"How long has this been going on?"

"About six months, give or take."

"That long? Any particular reason?"

The old Bella wouldn't have told her but I knew I needed help. It was time.

"Abusive mom died and I had to crawl over her body matter. So…yeah. Since then sleeping, _really_ not my thing." Doctor Cope just looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. I hate that look.

"Ok, first I am going to refer you to a psychiatrist, Dr. Tanya Denali. She is the best in town."

"Thanks doc." I grabbed my things and headed for the door.

I sat in my car staring at the shrink's number. Talking about feelings and bringing up deep dark secrets- not really my thing. Especially to a complete stranger… Will it help or would I just be wasting my time? Why can't I keep just stuffing shit in my box?

_Yep, cause that's really working well for ya. You're afraid to go to sleep. You're having night terrors that make you think that you are actually fucking awake when you're not. Just look at yourself, you look like shit and are way past Medusa scary._

I pull down my visor and take a good look in the mirror, something I haven't actually done in a while. My face is so pale I could pass for a vampire. There are huge dark circles under my sunken eyes that no amount of makeup could cover up. My eyes…they have no spark left.

_Let's not forget that your body is so fucked up it thought it was pregnant. You need help. You are barely functioning as it is. He's not gonna wait forever and if you have remotely any chance of actually being with him, you need to get your shit together. _

I let out a long sigh and scrubbed my hands over my face. Ok, here goes nothing.

A couple hours later, due to a last minute cancelation, I was sitting in the small waiting room alone, my knee bouncing up and down waiting to get my head shrunk. Deep breaths Bella, you are here for help, you're not facing a firing squad. Calm the fuck down.

Before my freak out reached defcon 5, the office door open and there stood a very beautiful woman. She was about 5'7" with waves of strawberry blonde hair cascading down her back, and she had very striking blue eyes.

"Ms. Swan?" Said the woman in a very soothing British accent.

"Yes." I stood up quickly.

"I'm Dr. Denali but you can call me Tanya. It's nice to meet you." She extended her hand and I shook it firmly.

"Nice to meet you too." She motioned for me to step into her office. I took a quick look around.

There were two large windows with a small tan love seat next to them, a dark stained side table with a box of Kleenex on top, a chair opposite the couch in the same color fabric, in between the two was a brightly colored rug that looked like it had a caterpillar on it, and in the corner by the door was a small glass top desk.

"Please have a seat." She said motioning to the love seat.

"So Bella, tell my why you are here." She said opening up her notebook.

"Well…umm…" Where do I even begin?

"I haven't been sleeping."

"Why not?"

"Because every time I do I have these insane nightmares that feel so real I don't even realize I've fallen asleep until I blink and wake up screaming in a cold sweat." She nods her head and starts writing in her handy dandy notebook.

"So you're having lucid dreams. Any thought as to why you're having them? When did they start?"

"They started about six months ago and my best guess would be because my mother died." More writing.

"The death of a parent can be very hard emotionally."

"Were you close with your mother?"

"No, I fucking hated her."

"Use your words Bella, cursing is just a deflection of what you really want to say. While in therapy with me I want you to try and refrain from using them. I want you to use descriptive words to describe things and the feelings behind them."

Fuck I'm screwed.

"Why do you hate your mother?"

"It might be a shorter list and less time if we go with what I liked about her." I said fidgeting in my seat. I can feel the tightening of my chest. I start rubbing it to try and get it to stop. The entire time, she is watching me intently and writing in that damn notebook.

"Why don't we come back to that. Describe to me what your dreams are like." She said, pen at the ready.

"They are fuc…I mean they really freak me out. I've never experienced anything like it before. I thought I was awake. The first night it happened I crawled into bed fully prepared to go to sleep. All of a sudden I heard footsteps coming up my stairs, key in the door like someone was opening it. At first I thought it was one of my friends or my brother."

"They just show up at your house uninvited in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah sometimes. Alice is the worst though."

"Alice." Dr. Denali muttered writing in her notebook. I have a feeling I will be talking about Alice in the future.

"Go on."

"So anyway, I heard the door open and close and footsteps coming towards me. It was dark so it took a second for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I saw the outline of a person, like a shadow really. I couldn't see their face. I tried to say something, find out who it was but I couldn't speak. No sound was coming out of my mouth. That's when I started to freak out a bit. The figure made its way over to my bed. I could feel the bed dip down next to me. I tried to move away but it was like I was frozen in place. Then, the figure got close to my face. I could feel someone stroking my cheek and a woman's voice whispering softly in my ear, except I could really make out any words. I opened my mouth to scream but again nothing came out. I tried to move again but I was still frozen." I took a deep breath. Saying this out loud makes me feel like a nut job.

"Then, I blinked and it all went away. I bolted upright and started crying and shaking. It felt so real. I could have sworn it was."

"After the first night, it just kept, getting more intense. Two people instead of one. They would stroke my face and grab at me while whispering things I couldn't understand. One night, they had me pinned down and were shoving this silver necklace I wear all the time down my throat. I was choking on it and I couldn't breathe. I woke up screaming and bawling with the taste of silver in my mouth. I don't think I have ever been more afraid. All the while I could swear _I was awake_, that I never even had time to fall asleep." At this point I was shaking a bit. If this is how it's gonna go just talking about my dreams, I don't want to know what will happen to me when the hard stuff comes along. I don't know if I can do this…

" What you are experiencing is called a wake-initiated lucid dream. It occurs when the dreamer goes from a normal waking state directly into a dream state, with no apparent lapse in consciousness. The wake-initiated lucid dream occurs when the sleeper enters REM sleep with unbroken self-awareness directly from the waking state. Next time one of these start to happen, I want you to repeat in your head, this is just a dream, this is just a dream. Find an anchor or a touchstone that when you focus on that object and remind yourself it's just a dream."

"OK, that sounds like you've watched Inception too many times."

She let out a small chuckle. "For example, if you have a dog who sleeps in bed with you at night. Normally, if your dog heard someone coming in the door or in your room to try and harm you, your dog would react. Clearly your dog cannot participate in your dream so he doesn't hear or detect anything is a miss. When you're lucid dreaming and these thing start to happen, is the dog barking? Or is the dog asleep at the end of your bed? In this case, you would seek out the dog, no it's not barking therefore the dream is not real."

"Gotcha. Find my dog." I have no clue what it's going to be though. Maybe I will just get myself a dog. Always wanted one.

"I also want to prescribe you something to help you sleep. Hopefully that will help some."

"Not Ambien please. I've tried that, sometimes I have bouts of insomnia, but taking it only made the dreams feel like I was tripping on acid. Made them ten times worse."

"Okay, let's try these two other pills and see if they help."

"OK." I know my tone sounded less then hopeful.

"Now, back to your mother…" I let out a groan. This is gonna suck.

After my appointment I felt more empty and depressed than I did when I walked in the door. She warned me about this. That dredging up buried feelings would leave me emotionally drained and possibly feeling even more depressed.

I had to let her know if the empty hollow feeling lasted more than a day. She would increase my already high dosage anti-depressant. If I feel this bad now after barely scratching the surface, how am I gonna feel after she pulls out what I have stuffed deep down in the corners of my "box"?

_What about Edward? You want to be with him don't you?_

I do. But I don't know if I can do it, even for him.

I check my phone to see if I have any messages. I haven't really talked to my brother or Jazz yet. I figured they took yesterday to talk and wrap their heads around the fact that they are going to be fathers.

**HOLY SHIT BALLS BB- I'M GONNA BE A DAD!- Em**

**Coming soon- Baby Whitlock!- Jasper**

**Morning beautiful, I didn't hear from you yesterday, everything ok?- E**

I sighed and closed my eyes. I can't deal with Edward right now. He doesn't need to see me like this and I need to decide if I can do this. Not wanting to deal with that just yet I do what I do best, _avoid,_ by calling Emmett.

"Why hello Best Aunty in the World to be." My brother said. Even though I really didn't feel like smiling, I couldn't help it. He sounded so happy.

"Damn right I will be." I chuckled.

"I'm gonna be a dad BB! A real life dad!"

"I know! I'm so happy for you Emmy Bear. You are going to make a great dad. Considering you're a big kid yourself."

"Of course I will be. I'm gonna rock being a dad."

"Not gonna lie though, I'm a little freaked out about the baby part."

"Well I don't think you can avoid that unless Rose gives birth to a full grown adult or an animal."

"Smartass. I just mean, babies are so tiny and fragile. What if I drop him? I don't know how to change a diaper!."

"You're not gonna drop him. Even if you do, you were dropped on your head more than once and you turned out fine. Well sorta."

"This is true. Wait, Hey!" I started to laugh.

" As for the diapers, you will learn. There are these things called parenting classes."

"What if he is a girl! I've never been around little girls."

"Are you forgetting you have a sister who happened to be little once?"

"Yeah, you don't count BB. You're more of a dude. When you were little you were either hanging with us boys or reading a book. I can handle her if she's like that, as long as she isn't clumsy like you, she will be the first woman to play professional football. I'm more worried about her being a girlie girl."

"I guess you'll just have to brush up on your girl voices and get comfortable with wearing tiaras and having tea parties." I started laughing again picturing my big oaf of a brother with a tiara on his head, a pink feather boa around his neck, sitting in a tiny chair sipping imaginary tea with his pinky sticking out.

"You're gonna do fine boy or girl. Besides you have Rose."

"True dat. So listen, we are having a celebratory, 'we procreated' dinner tonight at 7."

As much as I would love to celebrate with them I can't pretend to be happy when I'm not. I mean, I am happy for them but talking about babies, when I thought for a moment I might be having one, plus Edward being there. Shit, I can feel the panic rising just thinking about it.

"I would love to Em but I'm not feeling well. I 'm gonna go home and rest, make sure I feel 110% for the wedding. I _am_ happy for you."

"Love you sis, feel better."

"Love you too."

I fired off a quick text to Jasper.

**Congrats old man. So happy for you- B**

I turn off my phone.

After hitting the pharmacy, I went home turned on the TV and tried to distract myself with mindless entertainment. Around 7, I decided I should probably turn my phone on to see if I had any messages.

**You ok, I haven't heard from you all day and Emmett said you're not feeling well. Want me to come take care of u? I wld much rather deal with getting your germs then listen to R & A talk about their uteruses.-E**

**No, I will be fine. U know you love uteruses, lol- MB**

Before I see Edward again, I need to be sure I can fully commit to getting better. When I see him in person, my thoughts get cloudy and I have a hard time thinking straight.

**Just ur ute. Anybody else's freak me out.-E**

Why does he have to say shit like that?

**Tired, going to bed.- MB**

**Sleep tight love- E**

After that I took my handful of new meds and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning from an endless stream of nightmares feeling suffocated and panicked. I needed to get out of here. I sent a text to Charlie to see if I could stay at the house for a couple of days. I was internally grateful that he decided not to sell it. I think he was hoping that one of us would take it.

**Sure. No one is staying there at the moment. Everything ok Bells?- Dad**

**Great. No, but it will be. Thank you.- B**

**Call me if you need me.-Dad**

**I will. And can you not tell anyone I'm staying there. I just need some time by myself-B**

**Roger that.- Dad**

**Going away for few days. Be back on Fri for rehearsal dinner- B**

Once again I turned my phone off not wanting to engage with another living soul until Friday.

Rest of Tuesday- Hollow and empty… _you are broken and damaged._

_**Why are you going away? Where are you going?- E**_

_**Is everything ok B? I get this feeling in my gut that says something is wrong. U know the gut never lies- Alice **_

_**BB, what's wrong? Are you still not feeling well?- Emmie Bear**_

_**Bella, pick up the phone- E**_

_**10 missed calls**_

_**ISABELLA MARIE SWAN ANSWER SOMEBODY- E**_

Wednesday- Pain, anger, longing..._ But I want to be fixed. I need to be fixed._

_12 missed calls_

_**Ok, you are starting to scare me. Where are you? At least tell me if you're ok.-E**_

_**Bella Swan, you better not miss the rehearsal dinner or I will kick your ass from here to Tues!- Alice**_

_**Sorry, about the last one. Are you ok?-A**_

_**Bitch where the fuck are you? U are scaring ppl- Rose**_

_**Bella plz answer me- E**_

_**That's it I'm calling dad- Em**_

_**Chief dad said u are safe & to leave u be or he'll arrest us for stalking.-Em**_

_**Love you – Alice**_

_**Let me know if u need to talk darling, u know I'm a good listener- Jaz**_

_**So u can tell Charlie but not me?- E**_

_**Did I do something? I thought things were ok.- E**_

_**Plz tell me what I did so I can fix it-E**_

Thursday- self-loathing, pain, anger, doubt… _it feels a bit like drowning._

_**Bella plz baby, I luv u. Don't turn away from me. Let me help u- E**_

_**I am begging here, plz tell me so I can fix whatever it is- E**_

_**GODAMMIT BELLA! If u've decided u can't do it or we…I'm not worth it then just FUCKING TELL ME! U in or r u out? Just give me an answer so I can move on. STOP IGNORING ME! I deserve better than that don't u think.- E**_

When I woke up later that evening I decided to turn my phone back on. As I finished listening and reading all my messages I curled up in a ball and started to sob, _again._ My body wrack with shame and guilt, longing and fear. I don't deserve him. He would be so much better off without me. The right thing to do would be to let him go. "If you love someone set them free and all that jazz, right?

I tried to picture his future with a faceless woman, smiling and being happy. The thought of it made my stomach churn. I don't think I could handle seeing him with someone else…

DAMMIT BELLA! Quit being selfish! You push him away yet you can't let go so he can be happy? What is wrong the fuck is wrong with you?

Beep

**Nothing? -E**

**I'm done- E**

I gently put my phone down and the body wracking sobs begin again. _He's done._ I knew he wouldn't be able to wait around forever. I went to the kitchen and found a half empty bottle of vodka in the freezer. Cheers to me.

****AN**

**Peeks out from under her rock... Please don't hate me or Bella. If you go your entire life feeling like you are not good enough that is all you know, even if it is false. Overcoming something that is engrained in you down to your soul, is very hard to do. Will she be able to do it? Believe she is worth it and more? I hope so. I know she thinks she has to do it for him but what she needs to realize is that she really needs to do it for herself if it is going to work. Edward is just the bonus prize.**

**Has anyone else ever had lucid dreams? I have, exactly the same as Bella's except mine was a man. They were so terrifying that I would go weeks with only 4 hours of sleep. My doctor was the one to tell me to focus on my dog as my touchstone. If he wasn't barking or freaking out, I was dreaming and to repeat to myself over and over that it was a dream until I woke up. It is crazy the things our mind can do. **

**How will the rehersal dinner go? Will Bella pull her shit together not just for Edward but for herself? Is E really done? **

**Please review, I love hearing what you have to say- good or bad. Ok, back under my rock I go.**

**HB**


	19. Chapter 19

***Peaks around the corner- Please don't be mad at me for taking so damn long. I could give you reasons but as DD used to say, excuses are like assholes-everybody's got one. Some even bleach them, which I find weird. Why on earth would you let someone near your rear with chemicals... Awkward! Where was I... Oh yeah, I took forever and I suck (and not in the good way) **

**So last chapter B threw herself a pity party. I know some of you where mad at her for shutting everyone out and you know, I was too. All I can say is, everyone handles grief, loss, and demons in their own way. If there was a rule book that told you how to deal or a button you could push to make it all go away then we wouldn't need shrinks. What they all do with their fancy degrees? LOL. So do me a favor, have a lil faith and understanding for B. This is a hard, hard road but she will eventually get there.**

**As per usual, thank you's all around to my AMAZING Wonder Twin and BBF Kimmie for all that they do! And A HUGEMUNDUS THANK YOU to all my readers. You will never know how happy you truly make me and I appreciate each and everyone of you.**

**p.s. I don't own Twilight. **

Ch 19

After my week long pity party, I felt emotionally drained and empty. You would think I'd be dehydrated from all the water lost. Damn, I didn't know a person could cry so much. I wouldn't say I felt better, just different. Although because of my self-imposed isolation I knew that I had another hard road ahead of me.

With every step I took up the stairs, I fought the urge to run back down, drive as far as I could go, and never come back. I kept repeating my new mantra, 'there are people who do love you and want you to get better. You want to get better even if you have to fight yourself to do it."

That's right, while Edward is a big part of why I'm doing this, ultimately, I'm doing it for myself. Time to put on my big girl panties and face everyone I hurt one by one.

"It's about fucking time." Rose yelled as I walked in my door. Of course they would be waiting for me. Time to face the firing squad.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Do you have ANY idea what you have put us through running off like that? Charlie threatened to arrest Edward for Christ sakes. Would it have killed you to at least answer a few texts?" Alice yelled

"I did." I replied knowing that wasn't what she meant.

"'Going away, be back by Friday' is NOT good enough. We were worried. Don't even get me started on how you look! Let's see, dark circles, check. Under eye bags that a midget could use as a suitcase, Check. Gaunt due to weight loss, check! Thank God I'm magic cause it's gonna take a lot to make you look perfect..."

"ALICE!" Rose interrupted. "Shut the hell up and let the girl explain herself."

Then she turned to me, "And you_ will_ explain. I don't want any vague explanations either. I wanna know the goddamn truth. It has to be something big because the Bella I know wouldn't worry her family like this."

I rubbed my hands across my face and took a couple deep breaths to try and squash the panic that was starting to bubble to the surface. _You knew this was coming_. In my mind I pictured myself pulling up some hideously large underwear.

"So ummm…fuck. This isn't gonna be easy for me so I need the peanut gallery to keep quiet till I'm finished, k?" They both nodded and looked at me with so much worry I felt sick knowing I was the cause.

"Well I guess I should start from the beginning. Ummm, so I lied about why I came to live with Charlie and Em. Renee didn't remarry. I made Phil up."

"Why…" Alice started to say before Rose smacked her and told her to shh.

"Because it was easier than telling everyone that she beat me." I said quietly. As I explained the rest of my story I hung my head in shame. I wasn't ready to see the emotions that I knew would be written all over their faces.

"So yeah…" I finally stopped pacing and forced myself to look at their tear-stained faces.

"I've kept it all stuffed away in my magic box of horrors for so many years. When she died, it basically exploded and all my demons I've been avoiding were able to run free." I walked over and sat on the bed next to them.

"I am so sorry for making everyone worry so much. You have to believe that. I felt like… I felt like I was drowning and I didn't want to take any of you with me. With the wedding and the babies, I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems. I didn't want to taint your happiness with all my shit."

"Oh Bella!" Alice cried.

I broke down again and they wrapped their arms around me holding me tight for what seemed like hours. When I finally calmed down, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"Are you seeing someone? Taking meds?" Rose asked as we finally pulled apart.

"Yeah."

"So, is it helping?"

"I just started but I can tell you it sucks gross sweaty balls. I went in feeling like I was drowning, after I felt like someone had fitted me with cement shoes, ripped my heart out, replaced it with lead and threw me in water. I couldn't breathe. I felt like the weight of the world was on my chest. That mean bitch voice inside my head kept getting louder and louder…"

"Is that normal? It doesn't sound normal." Alice asked concerned

"English Shrinky Dink says after the first couple times it's normal 'cause you're opening and reopening wounds. It's fucking torture. It's really gonna take everything I have to go back on Monday. My initial reaction is to shove it back into my box and pretend like it never happened."

"You're not doing that, we won't let you. One of us can go with you. We'll drive you there and sit and wait." Alice suggested

"I'm not a child, Alice. I can take care of myself" I said bitterly.

"No one said you were a child. You need to learn how to let people help you. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. It takes guts to know when you can't do it on your own and to ask for help."

With a resigned sigh, I shake my head, "Okay."

Rose took a deep breath before meeting my eyes, "As much as I want to spare him, you need to tell your brother."

"I know. I just… I know him and I know he is gonna feel like he should have known, should have done something. A tear rolled down my cheek. "I'm afraid he's gonna be mad at me."

"What about Edward?" Alice whispered.

My stomach clenched at just hearing his name. "What about him?"

Alice took a deep breath, "Well maybe because he has literally been pulling his hair out for the past week. Do you even know that he went to Charlie and threatened him for Christ sake!"

"He... we… it's complicated." They both looked at me waiting for me to continue.

"Shouldn't we be getting ready? The dinner starts in like three hours. I believe you have some magic to work" I gave them both a look that said drop it.

"Shit. Go get in the shower and wash the stink off of you." Alice said shooing me off.

Before I closed the door she yelled., " No lollygagging in there. In and out missy!"

I turned around and saluted her.

Alice and Rose, the most efficient primping/prodding machine ever, had me presentable in no time. As the restaurant got closer and closer the anxiety monster started rising up. Everyone is gonna want answers, even if they only ask me their questions with a look. Then there is Edward…who is done.

"I'm just gonna run to the bathroom real quick. I said as I hopped out of the car before it came to a complete stop.

I rushed into the bathroom, the need to collect myself was overwhelming. I hate feeling this off-balanced, so I took a couple of deep breaths and prepared myself. Even though I would much rather stay in here, I knew that if I didn't come to the table soon, someone would come looking for me. One last pep talk, '_Ok Bella, time to put your game face on. This night is about Rose and Em.'_

"BB!" Emmett bellowed as I came into sight. He jumped up from his chair and pulled me into a rib crushing bear hug.

"Can't breathe." I squeaked.

"OH sorry." He said loosening he grip but not letting go.

"I just wanted you to know that I love you and I am here for you no matter what." He whispered in my ear.

I could feel the familiar sting of tears in my eyes, but I swallowed them back

"Love you too Emmy Bear. We'll talk after dinner ok?" I whispered back.

"Damn straight." I chuckled a bit as he released me.

"Bells." My dad said with a concerned nod.

"Hi Dad, Sue." I gave them my best 'I'm fine' smile.

"You're over here across from Edward." Alice chimed in.

I looked down at the end of the table and was met with two green eyes staring back at me. Even though he had a slight smile on his face, I could tell that it was forced.

"Hi." I said as I sat down.

"Hey." He muttered not making eye contact. I took a deep breath. This is gonna be a long night.

The night was filled with baby conversations. Emmett and Jasper started telling pregnant wife stories, which earned them both slaps to the back of the head. Apparently middle of the night runs for weird food cravings sounds good in theory but poorly executed once the ladies' sense of smell kicked in.

"And then she yelled at me for eating it! I mean, children are starving all over the world! You don't just throw away a perfectly good container of gas station nachos 'cause your nose doesn't like it." Emmett said looking astonished.

"Please, don't pull the Sally Struthers card. You don't care about the world's starving children. Just admit that you are a gluttonous pig. Besides if I don't get to eat it, no one can." Rose said as she smacked him in the back of the head again, which made everyone at the table laugh.

"Geeze Rosie. So violent. Those horm…"

"Don't you dare say something about pregnancy hormones or I swear to all that's holy I will stab you with my fork!" Rose said grabbing her fork.

Emmett looked to Charlie for help but held his hands up and shook his head trying not to laugh.

"Hormones, what hormones. I was going to say I love you my darling Rosiecakes. I can't wait until you become Mrs. Emmett Swan. I am going to cherish you forever." He smiled showing his dimples and gave her puppy dog eyes. Her face immediately softened and tears started running down her cheeks.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Emmett Swan." Rose gushed as she gave him a kiss.

"So Edward, when do you and Jasper leave?" Sue asked.

My head instantly shot up. Leave?

"Sunday morning."

"You're leaving?" I asked as calmly as possible.

"Yep." He said like it wasn't some huge deal.

"How long are you gonna be gone?" Sue asked before I had a chance to.

"Umm, don't know yet. Since we landed Omnicorn, which is based out of Chicago, we've been getting a lot of calls from companies there. We've set up initial meetings to go over their expectations.. If it's more cost effective to stay there and work on the mock-ups that's what we'll do. Kinda just playing it by ear."

"Well I hope you come back home sooner than later. I'm gonna miss my Jazzy Pants while he's away." Alice whined.

"We'll be gone for at least two weeks, but it all depends on if they like our proposal."

I continued to stare at him willing him to look at me. How did I not know they were leaving? Did I know and forget? He usually tells me things like this.

It only took seconds before I felt the walls closing in and the oxygen sucking out. Knowing that a panic attacks was right around the corner; I excused myself quickly and practically sprinted towards the door. I probably looked like a lunatic with all the shaking, pacing and talking to myself but I really didn't have a choice.

"BB are you ok?" When I turned to face Emmett he looked so worried and scared.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to ruin dinner. I should just go home." I pulled out my phone and starting looking up cab companies.

"Bella, stop." He grabbed my phone out of my hand and led me over to a bench outside the restaurant.

I reluctantly sat down trying to take deep breaths and willing my body to stop shaking. It was not working.

"You're really starting to scare me, sis. Ever since Renee… Will you please tell me what's going on." He put his arms around me and pulled me close.

"I'm sorry." I whispered into his shoulder.

"Stop apologizing and just talk to me."

"I'm just having a really rough time with the whole Renee dying thing. It's brought up a lot of …things."

"Like…"

"Can we not do this here? I already feel like a complete spaz freaking out like I did. Come over after and we'll talk."

"Pinky promise." He said as he stuck his pinky out.

I wrapped my pinky around his, "Promise"

The rest of the dinner went without any more freak-outs. After dinner, Rose and Emmett came over and I did as I promised and told my brother everything I told the girls. I'm glad Rose was there because Emmett didn't take it very well. He reacted just as I thought he would. He blamed himself for not realizing what was happening. He was hurt and angry that I didn't come to him. He also made me pinky promise to never withhold anything like that from him again. We hugged and cried then I kicked them out. Tomorrow was their big day and I didn't want my broken emotional state getting in the way.

Three people down, two to go. It probably would have been easier to tell Jaz while I was talking to Emmett but I had some other things to discuss with him. That other thing being Edward. It was getting late, so I took my meds and the sleeping pill the doctor prescribed in hopes that I would get somewhat of a decent sleep. Tomorrow was a big day.

The wedding of course was beautiful. Since Rose's parents couldn't manage to pull themselves away from their European vacation long enough to see their own daughter get married, Charlie walked her down the aisle. Edward had said all but two words to me.. He basically had to since we were the best man and maid of honor. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time and managed to catch him staring once or twice.

Now I am sitting here at our table watching my brother make a fool out of himself on the dance floor.

"This seat taken Darl'n?" Jasper said as he smiled down on me.

"Why no kind sir, please take a seat." I said in my best southern accent.

"So Alice told me." He said quietly grabbing my hand.

"I'm sorry, I was gonna tell you next."

"It's ok. Don't be mad at Alice, she was so upset and I coerced it out of her."

"And by coerced, I'm sure you meant the promise of sexual favors!" Neither of us could stop ourselves from laughing.

Jaz got seriously again, "I am so sorry B that you had to go through all that alone. I wish I could take all the pain away. I really do."

"Thanks Jaz. I just feel like I am drowning. Like I've been plunged into the ocean and wave after wave keeps coming knocking me farther down making it near impossible to catch my breath. I know I've hurt everyone by shutting down…"

"Don't worry about us. We are more concerned with you. We love you B and hate to see you suffering. Everyone will be fine. All is forgiven.

"I don't think Edward feels the same way." I whispered putting my head in my hands.

"I know I don't really know the particulars but I have a pretty good idea. First you need to talk to him. After that, you need to focus on getting better, for you- not anybody else."

Before I could say anything back Edward approached the table. "Hey can we talk?"

"That's my cue to take my lovely out onto the dance floor." Jasper said. He walked past Edward and whispered something in his ear. Edward nodded in response.

"I'm sorry", I blurted out before he sat down.

"Ummm… why don't we go outside."

I followed silently behind him my steps growing slower as I filled with dread..

"Bella I…"

Before he could go any further I cut him off. "I wanna talk first. Then you can tell me to go fuck myself or whatever but I just need to say this first."

I think I heard him mutter something about me fucking myself but I couldn't stop my momentum. I had to get this out.

"I'm so sorry I shut you out. Between thinking I was prego to not being prego and then the therapy session it just became too much and I couldn't breath and I was panicking and I ran which was stupid and selfish I know but…"

"…did you say you thought you were pregnant? Like _pregnant pregnant_?" He interrupted.

I stared at him wide eyed. Fuck, I forgot that I didn't tell him.

"Umm yeah, but I'm not. I was gonna tell you…" I stopped when I saw how contorted his face was with anger.

"Sure you were." He practically spit out. He started to get up and I grabbed his arm.

"Please stop. Please let me finish. Please. Please. "I begged as tears started streaming down my face. "I know I fucked up on so many levels but I have to fix this, I have to." He looked at me for a long moment then sat back down.

"On the day of the bachelorette party Rose texted a code no flo so Alice and I ran to the store and picked up like 6 different test. You should have seen how ridic we looked. Anyway, when Rose took her first pregnancy test and it come back positive she was convinced it was wrong so she took another and then made both Alice and myself take one to prove that it was a bad batch or some shit. That's how Alice found out she was pregnant too. Umm when mine came up positive I started to freak. I wanted to tell you but then you came in all Magic Mike a blazing. I got distracted and decided that I didn't want to tell you until I saw a doctor and knew for sure." I had to pause for a

moment. I took a few deep breaths and ran my fingers though my hair a couple times.

"When I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the test results I had this twisted Ally McBeal vision of me in a white dress but before I could figure out what was going on, I looked down and there was blood everywhere and then I knew I miscarried because I would be a terrible mother and that you would leave me. The doc snapped me out of my daydream and told me I wasn't pregnant. I guess my semi-catatonic daydream state weirded her out cause she referred me to a shrink. Clearly I have issues. The aftermath of my therapy appointment was awful…" I started to cry harder.

"I just… I felt so raw and empty…it hurts so much. God Edward I'm so broken. I can't… you deserve better than me. But I'm selfish and don't want to lose you and thought you'd just always be there. Then you said you were done…" I could barely form words, tears were streaming down my face and I was shaking.

"Shhh MB It will be ok. Please calm down." Edward took me into his arms, held me tight, stroked my hair and just let me cry.

****A/N **

**So whatcha think? I told ya to have a lil faith. She's working on it, one step and one day at a time. **

**I have to admit that I am struggling with how to end this. Half of me wants X to happen, the other wants Y. I thought about writing both and giving you a mini version of "choose your own adventure". Thoughts? What would like to see happen? I love hearing from you so please review.**

**Thank you again for taking the time to read what my brain spits out. I ADORE YOU !**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm back! Quicker than usual right?! Don't worry, I wasn't body snatched by aliens or anything, although I am currently re-watching Roswell, I heart Max Evans. Wanna hear another shocker? Chapter 21 is almost done too! I am on a roll. So this chapter you get to know what's going on inside Eddie boys head. Wonder what he's thinking?**

**So I just wanna take a moment to say once again how AMAZING the fanfic community is. I went so many wonderful talented and amazing people and friends that I don't know how I ever lived without them- yeah I'm talking to you JrDurham. With that said, Chapter 20 shout outs to- BFF Kimmie, who is the most amazballs person on the planet, my Wonder Twin, thanks for pre reading and making the things in my head make more sense and for always being there, ReFanSoulmate thank you for your amazing friendship, the words you share with the world, and vodka gummy bears, jmeec316 I just love getting your reviews, and to ALL of my readers, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me that you take the time to read the crazy things I spit out.**

**I don't own Twilight, sadly.**

Chapter 20

**EPOV**

"I'm so sorry." She kept repeating as I held her tight trying to get her to calm down I knew she was hurting and it was so frustrating for me that she was being stubborn and not letting me help her. When I texted her that I was done, I was drunk and angry. She had shut me out, wasn't returning any of my texts or phone calls and Charlie refused to tell me where she was. I thought everything was ok between us, that we were heading in the right direction. But no, she pulled away _again_. And the worst part? I started to question whether or not _I_ was good enough for _her_.

She looked so fragile and broken at the rehearsal dinner I wanted to take her into my arms and just love her. Clearly she needed help and seeing her like this, my heart breaks. Watching someone who you thought was so strong crumble before your eyes, especially someone you care for so much, it's terrifying and heart wrenching.

And yet, I was still hurt and angry. Hurt she refused to come to me. Pissed that I'm good enough to fuck but not good enough to be anything else.

After a few more minutes her gut wrenching sobs slowly died down. She pulled away, wiped her tear-stained cheeks, took a deep breath, and looked at me with a sad smile.

"I am _truly_ sorry for everything I have put you through. I know I fucked up, that I am fucked up, but you are my best friend and I don't want to lose you."

"Bella..." She shook her head to stop me from finishing. Gently she grabbed my face with her hands and rubbed my jawline with her thumb. She leaned forward and brushed her lips softly against mine. She pulled back and whispered against my mouth. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"I know MB, I know." I whispered back. It felt like such an intimate moment, more so than any sex we've ever had.

I really did know she was sorry; she would never intentionally hurt me. But it didn't change the fact that I am hurt. The constant push-pull was starting to give me whiplash. One minute she says she'll let me in, the next she pushes me away and shuts me out.

I pulled back and ran my arms up and down hers. "Why don't I take you home? It's been a long emotional day, you need some rest."

"Ok, let's go tell everyone goodbye."

The ride to Bella's apartment was quiet. The air in the car was thick with tension, it felt a bit suffocating. Bella sat in the passenger seat with her hands folded on her lap tearing a Kleenex into tiny pieces. Every once in a while I could feel her staring at me but when I turned my head to look at her, she would turn away.

"Umm,a thanks for the ride. I…uh…I'll see ya when I see ya." She stammered as she quickly bolted from her car.

_Goddammit_, she's doing it again.

I put the car in park and chased after her. "Bella wait." I yelled as I caught up to her. She paused, key halfway in the lock. I could see her take a deep breath before she turned around. Tears were running down her face and she was biting her bottom lip.

"Bella." I whispered while wiping tears from her cheeks. I had hoped to calm her down, but instead she started to cry harder. I turned the key and pushed her through the door toward her room.

"MB I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths and calm down." I tried to soothe her while she sat down on her bed.

"You didn't say you forgive me." She said in between sobs.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I hoped she'd missed that. Fuck how I'm I going to explain this to her without her breaking down more? I grabbed both of her hands in mine rubbing small calming circles. I took a deep breath and softy grabbed her chin pushing it up gently so she was looking at me. I need her to see the emotion behind my words.

"Look MB, I. Love. You. God help me but I do. I understand that you're hurting. That you're going through stuff I can't_ possibly_ imagine. I know that you're sorry and that you didn't mean to hurt me but you did. A lot. Just when I think you are opening up and letting me in, you slam me right back out. That shit fucking hurts. I'm not a yo-yo Bella. Seeing you like this breaks my fucking heart. It kills me to know that you are going through all this pain and I can't do anything because you won't let me help you."

I was starting to get upset so I took a deep breath before continuing. I moved away from her and started pacing.

"After the bachelorette party I thought you were ready but really it was my dick that you wanted. Do you know how that makes me feel? Used and not good enough. Then you tell me that you thought you were _pregnant_. Fucking pregnant! You let me fuck you then you disappeared for a goddam week without saying anything. I get my hopes up and then you crush them. Fuck, it's me you crush."

"I love you so fucking much it's painful and that scares the fuck outta me. You know I'm not that guy. I don't date and fall in love. But guess what...I did and I am. I tried you know, to be done. To walk away from you and close up my heart. But fuck it, just when I thought I might be able to pull it off, I see you and WHAM I'm right back to where I started. You have embedded yourself into my soul but I can't keep doing this. I want nothing more than to take you and tell you that all is forgiven but I can't. You either love me or you don't. You either want me or you don't."

I stopped my pacing and turned to face her. She stared at me with the most intense look before starting to stammer, "I...I..."

"You know what? Just, don't say anything. I have an early flight and we both need some time to think about what we want."

I left her on the bed staring at me while I tried to shut out the sound of two shattering hearts.

The flight was long and I was really not in the mood to chat. Thank god I was with Jasper. Unlike Emmett, who would be talking my ear off insentiently incessantly, Jasper picked up on my, _I don't want to talk about it_, vibe.

In the elevator on our the way up to our rooms, I was still silent, stuck in my own head. Jasper kept glancing over at me. Since he didn't say anything, I guess he figured that it wasn't a good time to bring up my mood. I know I was being a kind of a dick but there was just so much in my head I didn't know where to start.

After about an hour of lying in bed watching mindless television I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to find Jasper standing there, a couple of mini bottles of Jack in one hand and a pizza in the other.

"Thought these would do the trick." He said as he entered the room, setting the stuff on the table.

"Thanks man." I said joining him.

"Plus, we need to talk. We have an important meeting tomorrow and I need your head in the game and the only way for that to happen is for you to start untwisting your panties."

Of course Hhe's right. I definitely needed to work this shit out before our meeting. The only problem is, I don't want him to be stuck in an awkward position.

As if reading my mind he started before I could.

"Look I know why you're hesitant to share, I get it, but I'm your friend too and you can always confide in me. Just let me worry about the other shit."

"Well fuck, where do I start? You already know it has to do with Bella. "

"Yup, so, go on."

And then it happened, I opened my mouth and everything came rushing out: the sex, the friends with benefits, Arizona, realizing and telling her that I was in love with her, her pulling away, all of it. The entire time Jasper never interrupted once. When I was done we sat there in silence. I tried to give him time to process everything but after about ten minutes I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to know what he was thinking.

"Well, are you going to say something? Anything?" I ran my hands through my hair nervously.

He shot me a long hard stare before speaking. "Are you positive that you are in love with her? I mean I know you already love her, hell we all do, but are you really truly in love with her?"

"Look, I know that I've never been in love before but I can tell the difference between loving her and being in love with her. No one has ever made me feel the way she does. That's the most frustrating part, I can't fucking turn it off. No matter how hard I try the feelings I have for her just get stronger. Even as she keeps crushing me with all this push-pull bullshit."

"Wow, I never thought I would see the day where Edward Cullen, playboy extraordinaire would actually fall in love." Jasper chuckled.

"Yeah me either. But if I'm being completely honest I think there has always been a part of me who has always been in love with her. I just never acknowledged it because she's Emmett's little sister and my best friend. I didn't want to fuck those friendships over a stupid emotion."

"Love is not a stupid emotion. A very powerful one, but definitely not a stupid one. That being said, remember where she is right now. What she's going through. How would you react if the roles were reversed?"

"I would probably lose my fucking mind."

"Exactly. Add to that her stubbornness, no wonder she been acting the way she has."

"But how can she possible think that she's not good enough? That she's not loved?"

"You can have a million people love you and tell you every day that you're amazing but it's usually that one negative comment that we dwell on. Add that to the fact that it was her mother, someone that is supposed to show unconditional love. To hear all those terrible things from the woman who gave you life… That shit will leave some scars."

You know she's a strong stubborn woman who takes care of all of us before she takes care of herself. She programmed herself a long time ago not to rely on others, especially for deep emotional support."

I had to stop him. "I get that she had to when she lived with Renee but why not let that go when she moved in with all of us? I mean, we tell each other everything, why didn't she feel like she could come to me? To any of us?"

"Well, sharing that stuff and opening up emotionally isn't easy for her. One of the two people in this world, who gave her life, abused her. Not to mention the first and only time she gave a piece of her heart to someone she got it back in a million pieces. If shit ended badly between you two, would you be so forthcoming with your heart? Would you open up to anyone again?"

"No, probably not." Fuck I never thought of it that way.

"Don't get me wrong, you have every right to feel angry and hurt. Anyone in your situation would. I'm just trying to help you understand where she's coming from."

Jazz paused to let that sink in while I took another swing of Jack.

"So Ed, you have to decide if you are strong enough to stand by her side while she's going through all of this. It's not gonna be easy for her to conquer her demons and come out the other side. There will be times when she has a setback and it may take years before she is in a place of acceptance. But those scars of hers are permanent and they will never go away. She gonna need somebody by her side that's gonna be there to lean on when she has bad days. To show her that she is worth loving and she is really meant to be happy. Are you willing to be that person? If not, you need to back off because if you go into this thinking you can and then bail..."

I nodded. He didn't need to say it. If I bailed it would destroy her. "Thanks for talking this out man. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, I hoped it helped."

"It did."

"Good. Now try and get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow. I'm gonna go call Alice and tell her goodnight, and yes my lips are sealed." Jasper said as he walked out the door.

*****A/N**

**So whattcha think? I'm so proud of him for not rolling over and jumping right back in. Is he going to be able to handle all that comes along with B or will he decide to bail? Who doesn't love Jasper? Always there to listen and give some great advice. It's always nice to have a friend like that. If you review I will reward you with a teaser. :)**

**Fic Recs: Glycerine: Livie79, such a great fic, The Shattered Mirror: ElvishGrrl, this story makes you feel. It breaks your heart, makes you cry, makes your heart soar from happiness... I love this fic.**

**As always, thank you sooo much. FLOVE you guys!**

**HB**


	21. Chapter 21

**What, is this? She updated again so soon? Is she sick? Has she been body snatch and the alien that has taken control of her body doesn't procrastinate and does things in a timely fashion? Nope, still me! As much as I would love to be body snatched by aliens, I think I will stick with being me. Unless they can make me less accident prone, then I might be willing to talk. The characters have just been REALLY loud and begging me to write it out. **

**Only three chapters left! I'm getting kinda sad. This story has brought so many AWESOME people into my life. Technically there is only two left. You will have your choice on how the story will end. So review and tell me what you would like to see. I've been know to work in requests. **

**Shout out s to bff Kimmie and WT for making look smarter than I actually am. And to everyone who reads and reviews- FLOVE YOU ALL!**

**Two weeks from today I will actually be in FORKS for Stephanie Meyers/Forever Forks weekend! If you're going let me know, I would like to meet you!**

**P.s. I don't own Twilight**

Chapter 21

"Ohhhh mmmyyy goooddd." Rose moaned. "If cum tasted like vanilla pudding Emmett's dick would TOTALLY get sucked more and I'd most definitely swallow!" Rose said after her fourth vanilla pudding.

"OH MY GOD ROSE, TMI!I yelled shivering cause she managed to completely gross me out.

"Oh Jesus B, lighten up. I'm just saying."

"If you stick it far enough down your throat you can't even taste it so it wouldn't matter." Alice pipes up in between bites of Rice Krispy treats she's been is hoarding.

"I swear, the more pregnant you two get, the more vulgar you become." I mutter trying to shake the images that they have so kindly assaulted me with.

"I've always been vulgar B." Rose smiled.

"Get it out of your systems now! Pretty soon there's gonna be little ears that pick up on _everything_. You don't need my little bean telling Grandpa Charlie anything about their mommy blowing their dad."

"Oh my God, could you imagine the Chief's face!" We all started laughing. My father has and always will subscribe to the, 'don't ask don't tell' method when it comes to his children and sex.

"Ugh, I can't wait for Sunday to come. I want my Jazzypants back." Alice pouted.

"What, I'm not a good enough snuggler for you?" I asked fake pouting.

"Oh B, of course, but Jasper has one thing you don't..."

"Patience for your crazy antics?"

"A penis."

"Well I could always buy a strap on but I don't think it would be the same."

The look on her face was priceless! Rose started snorting she was laughing so hard.

"Just saying." I said with a shrug. Hey, I can be vulgar when I want to be.

Jasper and Edward's business trip went on longer than expected and Alice guilted me into staying with her by pulling the pregnancy card. Who am I to turn down a pregnant Pixie? But in all honesty it was nice having someone there for me at night or after therapy, and I, in turn, was able to ease her loneliness and soothe her need to keep an eye on me.

After coming clean to everyone, I now have a real strong support system. They take turns taking me to my appointments, making sure I eat, listen when I need to talk it out, and know when to give me space. I still have a long road ahead of me scattered with the occasional bad day but with the love and support of my family and friends I am beginning to believe that I _will_ be ok.

Then there's Edward. Watching him walk out the door knowing how much pain and hurt I inflicted… I could literally feel my heart breaking. Not knowing if I lost him, I felt _sick_. I just always thought that he would be there, no matter what, but after that night I know that if I continue on this path he really will be done and I will lose him. I don't think I can handle that.

He sent me only one text saying he landed safely. Since then, all Edward updates have come from Alice. So far she's kept quiet about it but a quiet Alice can be a scary Alice. The only person I talk to about Edward is my therapist. She wanted to make sure first and foremost that I was taking this journey to get better for myself not for him or anyone else. Because if that was the case, I was wasting my time. If I wasn't truly doing this for me then in the end, it's not gonna make a difference and honestly I struggle with that. Was I only doing this so I could make the pain in his eyes when he looks at me go away?

Not gonna lie, therapy scares me. I repressed this shit for a reason and digging up those things is really fucking hard. My biggest fear regarding therapy is that I am gonna lose _me_. Like, I've carried around this anger and pain for so long, as long as I can remember really, so I don't know who I am without it. Who will Isabella Swan be when the dust settles? Will I be someone I like? Will I be so different that the things I want now, the person I want now will change? What if I only love Edward and want to be with him because he is familiar and somewhat safe? These are things I have to figure out before going any farther with him.

"Earth to Bella. Have you heard anything I've been saying?" Alice said waving her hand in front of my face.

"Umm no, sorry. I was spacing off."

"Wanna talk about it?" Rose asked.

"No, just thinking things though. Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Yeah, since I've already heard this once, I'm gonna head home and have dirty sex dreams about your brother." Rose smirked as she got up to leave.

"Rose." I groaned.

"Later Bitches."

"I was talking about my wedding." Alice said shortly.

"Haven't we discussed this to death? I thought everything was set up?"

"It is but I was thinking last night that I should add steak to the menu." Alice said licking her lips.

I swear that woman has had steak every night for the past two weeks. I sighed and smiled at her as she started going on and on about the pros and cons of adding steak to the menu.

XX

"Hurry up B, we need to leave soon if we're going to be on time to pick up the boys!" Alice yelled down the hallway.

"Actually I have some things to do so go ahead without me."

"What things? Alice questioned as she stood in the doorway watching me pack up my things.

"Work things and I'm sure I'll see Edward eventually." I said trying to keep my tone even. I really didn't feel like getting the Spanish Inquisition from her right now.

"What's going on with you two? I know there is something going on, I can feel it." Alice's hands are on her hips and she's giving me the, I'm not above torture to get answers, look. Yup, a quiet Alice means a scary Alice.

"We are just not seeing eye to eye right now. Don't worry your pretty little Pixie head; I'm sure we'll work it out soon enough." I said zipping up my suitcase.

"_We're just not seeing eye to eye."_ Alice said "impersonating" me.

"That is such a vague answer. Why must you be so frustrating? That could mean anything. It's really not nice to frustrate a pregnant lady you know." Alice said pouting.

"Are you trying to guilt me with the prego card?" I said laughing.

"Yes, is it working?"

"Not one bit. Whatever is going on between Edward and I, is our business."

"But…" Alice said pouting.

"Alice." I said sternly.

"Fine. I'm gonna miss having you here B."

"As soon as Jasper steps off the plane you will forget all about me."

"Not true."

"I know, but hey, I really do appreciate all you've done for me. It really means a lot." I said hugging her and trying not to get to emotional.

"Anytime."

"We'll talk later."

"Don't be offended if I don't return any calls or texts. I've been without peen for far too long and I have a boat load of pregnant hormones to unleash on my man, so we will be tied up- literally." Alice giggled.

I lied when I told Alice I had work stuff to do. Really I was going to wait for Edward at his place. Since I had a good couple hours before he got home I had enough time to take my stuff home, shower, change, and pick up his favorite take-out.

In the last three weeks I took on extra therapy sessions and forced myself to do a lot of thinking. I wanted to be sure of what I want for myself and my future before seeing Edward again. It was so much shit to wade through and at times very emotionally draining but my best friend is worth it and it was killing me not to have him in my life.

So that's what led up to this, me in his living room pacing like a nervous fucking wreck waiting to see if I have lost him or not. I tried to squash the feeling of dread. Telling myself to be the half full kinda girl. Reminding myself to take deep breaths and that no matter what happens I'll be alright.

When I heard the lock in the front door turn, I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. Fuck, ok moment of truth. As soon as he saw me standing in the living room he dropped his bags and we just stared at each other for a good two minutes. God, even jet lagged he looked good. I missed his face. It literally took everything in me to just stay put. So many emotions were coursing through my body, it was starting to get a bit overwhelming. I could feel the tears starting to well up, so I closed my eyes for a moment and took a couple deep breaths to keep them at bay.

"You blinked, I win." Edward said smiling.

"I was never good at that game." I said smiling back.

"It's hard to win when you're being blinded by my awesomeness." He smirked

"Cocky much?"

"Me, cocky? Never." I missed this.

"I brought you some Bella Italia. I figured you might be hungry." I said quietly.

"Thanks MB. I'm just gonna go take a quick shower and scrub all the airplane germs off me. I'll be right out."

As soon as I heard the shower turn on, all the nervous thoughts about seeing him slipped away leaving only the overwhelming hormones of a 15 year old boy. All I could think about was Edward, _naked_, water running down his sculpted body. I grasped at the couch to keep me from going in there and joining him. Having sex instead of talking wasn't going to move us forward. But GOD DAMMITT did I want that man. Instead I turned on the TV and hoped Ancient Aliens would distract me from the images of Edwards's hot wet body slamming into me from behind in the shower.

"Trying to figure out how to phone home?" He asked as he walked into the living room towards the couch where I sat. I glanced up and there he was standing right next to me, jeans hanging low enough for part of his ken doll lines to be visible, no shirt, beads of water trickling down his chest and he was running his fingers through his wet hair.

I let out a low groan. Fuck me. Was this man trying to kill me? I turned my eyes quickly away and slid his food over to him.

"I can only take you pesky humans for so long." I muttered trying to regain my composure.

He just chuckled and plopped down next to me on the couch. God he smelt good; like a man. Good enough to eat, which made me think of vanilla pudding… and um no, not going there. Edward in the shower, me in the shower with Edward. I could feel the heat building between my legs and I rubbed them together a bit. If I was a guy I would be trying to discreetly adjust myself because I had a ragging vagoner going on right now.

"You alright MB? You look a little flushed." He said glancing at me putting his hand on my thigh.

Dear god, I felt like I was going to explode. You know the thing about meds dampening your sex drive, well apparently mine have the opposite effect because my hormones are going crazy.

"Yeah, umm just a lil hot that's all. Do you want some water? I need some water?" I stammered as I jumped off the couch and practically ran into the kitchen.

I grabbed two water bottles out of the fridge and then just stood with my forehead against the fridge door trying to reign in the horny.

"Bella." Edward said from behind me. I closed my eyes and turned around slowly. When I opened my eyes Edward was standing nearly flush to my body and his eyes were dark. Before I had a chance to say anything I was pushed up against the fridge his lips hovered against mine but instead of being kissed like I had expected, he kissed me on my forehead pulling away slightly but still gripping my shoulders like he was trying to keep himself grounded. I let my chin fall to my chest trying to get myself under control. But _fuck_, really man?

"Sorry. I just…you…we…" He stammered.

"Need to talk." I said finishing his sentence.

"Yeah." He slid his hands down my arms slowly leaving what felt like marks seared into my skin. All those nerves and feelings of dread suddenly started to rush back in.

Ok, no matter what happens, you will be ok. I repeated to myself. I will be ok…

**A/N*****

**So whattcha think? Don't you just love Rose! Please note that I had the vanilla pudding convo in the grocery store with my friend. You get the two of us together and we are a couple of hilarious vulgar bitches (bitches in an awesome sense). **

**I for one am SOOOO proud of B for accepting help and really working hard to get better, for herself. Edward is just a double bonus Tuesday prize. So they are gonna talk...I wonder what will happen?**

**I love reading reviews, so don't be shy. Good or bad- I wanna hear what you think. Remember, 2 weeks the land of Forks (I totally just had this image of rolling hills with forks sticking up everywhere, lol) If you're going let me know. I love meeting new people. **

**FLOVING YOU ALL  
>HB<strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**I'm back! Did ya miss me? Ok, this one is bff Kimmie approved. Please don't think it took her this long to do her thing, cause she was very Johnny on the Spot. I was just busy and a lil bit lazy. **

**Also part of this chapter was penned in the Mecca of the Twilight world- FORKS! I, along with Wonder Twin and A went to the yearly Stephanie Meyers weekend. I have to say one of the BEST trips I have taken. Who did I meet, none other then Stephanie Meyer herself! She was so gracious and nice, humble, and down to earth. WT and I told her our story of how we met- because of fanfic and she was excited! Eric Odum, who plays Peter in the Breaking Dawn movies was also there- HE'S A HUGER ! It's ok Eric, please hug away. If you're a grouper I wouldn't be opposed. It was also amazing to pick the brain of Jack Morrissey. The icing on my Twilight cake was meeting the FanFic 5! You ladies are seriously amazeballs! Their friendships are something I will cherish. Team B! Twerk it! I also might have converted to Team Emmett! If you had the fortune to attend you will know why...*Cough Travis Cough...**

**I don't own Twilight but you already knew that.**

Ch 22

EPOV

I knew what I was doing when I came out of the bathroom with no shirt on, still damp from the shower. I wanted to see what reaction I would evoke from her; maybe getting an idea of why she was here. Was she here to take me or leave me?

I could see her blush and rub her legs together.

"You alright MB? You look a little flushed." I asked placing my hand on her thigh. Was I playing dirty? Fuck yeah I was... Lust was radiating from her and turning me on. Dammit, I had a plan, totally sticking to my plan.

She jumped up, "Yeah, umm just a lil hot that's all. Do you want some water? I need some water" She stammered as she practically sprinted to the kitchen. She looked so flustered and cute, I didn't think my dick could get any harder. Before my brain had a chance to say "stay put" my feet had taken me into the kitchen.

She had her forehead pressed against the fridge door and was taking deep breaths. I felt her pull, and came to stop directly behind her.

"Bella." I said, my voice low and gravely.

She turned slowly until we were mere inches apart. Since my body seemed to have a mind of its own, I pushed her up against the fridge. My lips where hovering just above hers ready to go in for the kiss and take her against the fridge.

And then my brain decided to join the party, _you need to talk! This isn't going to solve anything._

As much as I didn't want that to be true, it was. We needed to talk before this went any further. I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Sorry. I just…you…we…" I stammered.

"Need to talk." She said finishing my sentence.

"Yeah." I slowly slid my hands down hers and it felt as though I was searing marks into her skin. I finally pulled away and headed back to the living room. There were so many things I needed to say whether I wanted to or not.

"Ummm… fuck. " I started rubbing my hands through my hair. "I told Jasper. I know we talked about not telling everyone, hell, anyone; but I was a jumbled fucked up mess and needed someone to help sort all the shit out."

She gave me a small understanding nod. "Did talking with him help your figure out what you want?" She asked while staring at her shoes. I could hear the nervousness in her voice.

"I already know what I want Bella." She still wouldn't look at me, all she did was nod..

"What I needed to figure out is if I could actually do it…_be_ with you."

Her head shot up then and she was looking me in the eyes. The pain that was coming through was killing me and I almost said fuck it and bedded her just to make the pain go away.

I took a deep breath 'cause what was going to come out of my mouth was going to kill me. "Look, you're going through a lot of really shitty emotional stuff right now, I get that and I want to be there for you but you keep pushing me away. The only time I _think _you're letting me in is when we're having sex. Your moods are giving me a major case of whiplash."

"I'm s…sorry." She whispered. Tears started to well in her eyes and I had to look away.

"You say that but, fuck MB, actions speak louder than words. As of late, your actions are pretty fucking selfish. You treat me like something you can use and abuse whenever you feel like it. You thought you were pregnant with **my child** and wouldn't tell me because you didn't think you were _good enough_?! I'm a person Bella. A person with feelings and this back and forth shit is fucking killing me." I glanced over at her and she looked like she was about to get sick. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Falling in love with you was never the plan. Falling in love period was never the plan. But that first night in Arizona, holding you, changed all that. Hell if I'm being honest the first time we slept together is what started this train wreck. I wish to God I could say if I had to do it all over I would push you away but I can't. Being with you when it's good…I have never been with anyone who makes me feel the way you do. It's frustrating because you're like my own personal brand of heroin. A fucking addiction; no matter how hurt and heartbroken I get, I keep coming back." I rubbed my hands across my face and took a couple deep breaths.

"Bella, I love you so fucking much but I can't…" I looked up at her and paused. Tears were streaming down her face. I could see the panic building in her eyes and she was shaking her head no.

"I can't…" Before I could finish she lunged at me grabbing my face and placing frantic kisses on my lips. I was momentarily stunned that I just sat there.

"Please…no…no…please…I'm sorry…I'm sooo fucking sorry…" She straddled me I could feel her want and need in her kisses. I kissed her back with all the anger and love boiling inside of me. After that there was a blur of lips, tongues, hands, and clothes. Without even a conscious thought and without breaking the connection, I picked her up, and made my way to my room.

When I felt my legs hit the bed I flung us both down and landed on top of her. I'm sure my weight was crushing her but I didn't care and she didn't complain. She was clawing at me like she couldn't get close enough. I had pulled back slightly so I could see what was in her eyes. She's always been an open book when we're like this and I needed to be able to read her. She knows what she does to me, the power she holds. If it's gonna be like before….

Her eyes were closed and she was breathing heavy. "MB." I said, my voice was low and filled with so much emotion. Her eyes flew open. When she looked at me there were so many emotions coming through, pain, sadness, panic, lust…

"Please…I need you…" She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Fuck, I know in my head, this is a bad idea and it's gonna leave me hurt once again. My heart and my dick however, don't care.

Before I could do anything she managed to flip us over so she was on top, straddling me once again. Her hair cascaded around us as she bent down. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths while I watched emotion after emotion pass over her face.

"I… love you." She said barely above a whisper. Her brown eyes were shiny with unshed tears and pleading. I'd waited so long to hear her say those words. I wish I could say I was confident she meant them but I'm not sure and in this moment I don't care.

Instead of answering her, I flipped us back over, ripped off her panties and slammed my cock into her all in one swift movement. I've never been this rough before but at this point with all the anger, pain, love, lust flowing between us, gentle is not an option.

By the time she came down from her second orgasm, I switched to a slow and deep motion. I was getting close but since I wasn't sure if this would be the last time, I was going to make sure she knew the depth of my feelings and the only way I knew how was to show her.

I began kissing her everywhere and let my hands run all over her body making sure to caress each dip and curve. My fingers ghosted along the side of each breast, over hips, down her legs and back up again, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. Committing everything to memory, savoring every moment like it's the last because in reality it might be. The current of electricity running between us grew stronger with each stroke. I lifted her hips a bit, angling her body as I looked for the magic spot that will make her body quake and scream out my name and take me right over the edge with her.

Our eyes locked as I thrust as deep as I could one last time.

"Edward!." She cried as I tipped us both over the edge.

I collapsed on top of her, both of us breathing heavy, our foreheads touching. I couldn't bear to look at her yet so I rolled us onto our sides, pulled her into my chest and buried my face in her hair.

Sure there is a huge possibility that my heart is going to get ripped out of my chest when I come back down to earth, but I can't find it in myself to let go.

****A/N**

**So whattcha think? I am sooo hiding under a rock right now. I can't believe we don't know what they decided. Can E actually do this? Can B? Well you will have to wait and see. We are coming to a close and I am kinda sad. The next chapter is already almost done and I previously mentioned I might do a chose your own adventure but I have been debating. I guess you'll just have to see what happens...**

**I seriously love all of you and it continues to amaze me that people actually read this- so thank you soo much.**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	23. Chapter 23

**HOLY FUCK THAT'S HOT! Please excuse my while I put the fire out that someone lit under my ass. I mentioned at the end of the last chapter that I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to end this beautiful ride I'm on. Well after a convo with my ReFanSM and a wash, rinse, repeat in the shower I figured it out. I FIGURED IT OUT! She yells at the top of her lungs with soap in her hair. So ladies, gents, vamps, and wolves this will be the last chapter before the epilogue. **

**I just wanna say- THANK YOU for the bottom of my heart for all the love! I may or may not have shed a few happy tears. Shout outs to WT, FF5, ReFanSMM, and all of you.**

**We all know I don't own Twilight. If I did I would have ran lines with Rob and focused heavily on the honeymoon/ I'm a vamp let's do it 24/7 scenes.**

**Enjoy!**

Ch 23

_3 months later…_

"Knock, knock", Jessica said behind my half closed office door.

Ugh, I don't wanna work or fraternize with people, why must you bug me?

"Come in."

"You got a delivery." She said smiling but there was definitely confusion behind that statement.

"Ummm, ok." The door opens wider and she's holding two vases full of lilies and black roses.

"Holy... Thanks." I mumble, grabbing the flowers and sitting them on my desk.

I'm a little in shock. I've never gotten flowers delivered before. The only other time was from Mike Newton with a note that said 'will you be my girlfriend check yes or no' I of course checked no and sent it back with the flowers stating I was allergic.

"Sooo lilies and black roses...that's kinda creepy." Jessica said while making her 'why are you so weird' face.

I raised my eyebrow at her and pointed at the door.

"Come on Bella I wanna know who they're from." She whined making a pouty face.

I rolled my eyes, "Go help customers Jess."

"But…" I gave her a death glare. She huffed and stomped back out front.

I'm about 95% positive I know who these flowers are from. If I'm right she doesn't need to know. If I'm wrong, then I might have myself a stalker - which wouldn't be bad as long as I don't receive any decapitated animals.

I grabbed the tiny envelope and pulled out the card.

**MARRY ME**

Are you fucking serious? I stared at the door expecting Jess to pop back in and scream 'Psych!'

The card started shaking in my hand, this must be a mistake. It has to be. Right? Some other girl out there loves lilies and black roses. _Right?_ I picked up my phone and sent him a text.

_**So are there any perks to go along with this? An incentive program?-MB**_

My phone beeped before I could even put it down.

_**Being with me for the rest of your life, my awesomeness will undoubtedly rub off on you so you will become almost as awesome as me… almost. **_

_My phone beeped again._

_**Plus you will get to touch my hot body for the rest of your life. I say that's a win win. Double bonus Tuesday.-E**_

He cracks me up.

_**That's it? I pretty sure I secrete enough awesomeness to last me the rest of my life. – MB**_

_**I will also offer up a little person dressed as a leprechaun holding a box of lucky charms- with a giant butterfly net so you can capture him and eat his bounty.- E**_

He does know a way to a girl's heart.

_**Keep talking...- MB**_

**_And I will throw in the unicorn butt plug to seal the deal, ;)-E_**

I laughed. Rose would be jealous. Not that I would actually use it- but I do collect unicorns so I mean really, who wouldn't want that to complete their collection?!

_**Sold! - MB**_

Wait… does that mean I just said _yes_?

_**Does that mean yes?-E**_

Was I saying yes? I was never one of those girls, i.e. Alice, who have been dreaming about their wedding since they were six. In fact, after the whole Jake thing, I decided that marriage really wasn't my thing. It wasn't too long ago that we, well it was really me, decided to let my wall down and now he wants to get married? We haven't even told our family we're dating for Christ sakes. What if this ruins us before we even really get started? Where would we live? Pretty sure I'm starting to have a panic attack. Deep breaths. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. What did Dr. Denali say about thinking the worst? Stop over thinking, that's what caused most of our trouble before. It's not like this is some guy you just met. It's Edward, who you have known your entire life.

_**Yes.-MB **__I typed without another thought._

Holy shit I just said yes… I got out of my chair and started pacing back and forth.

"Umm Bella?" Jessica said through the door.

"What is it Jess? I'm kinda busy at the moment."

"There is a gentleman out front that would like to talk to you."

Ugh, horrible timing. I stopped my pacing and followed Jessica back out to the café. I wonder what she did this time. She's lucky she's my friend and I love her because she isn't the best barista/waitress I've ever seen.

"What can I do for you today sir?" I said with my customer service smile. When I looked up there was Edward. I stood there stunned. I thought maybe I would have more time to let this whole marriage thing sink in before seeing him.

"Oh Edward I…" Jessica started to say before I cut her off.

"Jess I see a few tables that need to be cleaned." She gave me the evil eye before flashing Edward a smile. I rolled my eyes. That girl cannot take a hint. I should set her up with Mike, the other clueless wonder. I turn my attention back to Edward.

"Yes, I would like to complain about how delicious the coffee here is. I can't stop drinking it and it's turning me into an Alice." He said with his best panty dropping smile. Goddamn the things that man does to me with one look.

"Perhaps you should have taken classes in self-discipline or work on honing your willpower skills sir" I said smiling.

"I have many skills…" he said smirking. God don't I know it.

"But when I'm craving something I can't seem to make myself stop."

"Also." He whispered leaning over the counter.

"Your waitress has been eye-fucking me since I walked in. I'm feeling _very_ dirty and not in a good way." He shivered.

"I would feel dirty too sir. I would suggest getting tested. You never know what kind of diseases that look has contracted." He started laughing.

Suddenly his smile faded and he looked nervous.

"So… is that a real yes or one of your 'I'm totally fucking with you cause I can' yes? Which would be very, very cruel by the way." He said running his fingers through his hair.

I looked him in the eyes and smiled, "I think it's a real one."

He smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen. He hopped over the counter, picked me up and kissed me hard on the lips. We stayed like this for a few more seconds. Finally he let me go and reached into his pocket.

"Well then you probably want this."

He opened the box. Inside there was a small band with 4 tiny simple black diamonds. It was beautiful and perfect. He took the ring out of the box and placed it on my finger. The look of pure happiness on his face is a look I will never forget. I felt tears stinging my eyes waiting to spill down my cheeks. Dammit, I hate crying, especially in public.

"Oww! What the fuck was that for?" He said rubbing his arm where I had just punched him.

"Damn you! You made me cry! In _public_!"

He smiled again and started laughing while wiping a tear that had slid down my cheek.

"Happy tears don't count. Do you like the ring? Simple, not too flashy."

"Yes, as long as it doesn't turn my finger green. You didn't buy it from Gem Diamond did you?" I smirked.

"Hey just because my motto used to be, 'what would Zack Morris do' doesn't mean I don't know how to buy good jewelry. My mother taught me better than that. Besides Alice, would kill me."

"That is very true. I can't have her killing you before we're married and I'm the beneficiary of your life insurance."

"So where are these incentives that you promised?"

"Ahh, Ahhh, Ahh. You have to marry first. Did you really think I was just gonna hand those over without getting what I want? Silly woman, it's _all_ about the leverage."

"Fine but they both better pop up sometime during our honeymoon. None of that dole it out over time shit."

He laughed again then took my face in his hands and kissed my lips softly.

"Well now that that's all settled. You better get back to work and earn your keep. Plus we've accumulate an audience." he glanced over to his left and chuckled.

I look over and see Jessica, staring at us with her mouth wide open with a very shocked and disappointed look on her face. Ha! That's right, he's mine.

"Ok, I'll see you after work...if I haven't changed my mind and run away."

"You better not. I would have to chase you and you know how I feel about running." He said with a nervous smile. Shit. I instantly felt bad. I know it's still gonna take a while before all the damage I caused is undone.

"I would hate running too if I looked all weird and gangly while I did it." I said with a smile trying to steer it back to happy.

He shook his head and laughed as he walked out the door.

I was saved by a group of customers that had walked in otherwise Jessica would be all up on me like white on rice. I didn't have much time though before the Spanish Inquisition began and there were a few people that needed to know before her. I took a picture of my hand and posted it on Facebook with the caption: "Holy Motherfucking shit Batman!" What better way to let a mass group of people in on my happy news then social media. Now I just had to sit back and wait.

**_Is that your hand? – Chief Charlie_**

**_Yep- Bella Swan_**

**_Is that an engagement ring?!- Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

**_It appears that it is- Bella Swan_**

**_You know you actually have to have a groom to go along with it? – Rosalie Hale Swan_**

**_I know- Bella Swan_**

**_His name isn't George Glass is it? – Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

I started laughing.

**_Nope I assure you that I am real and not made up in her head- Edward Cullen_**

**_You're marrying EDWARD!?-_**ALICE. ROSE, DAD, JAPSER, EMMETT, and about six other people posted at the same time

**_He didn't knock you up? E, you have about a 5 second head start – Emmett Hale Swan_**

**_Yes, you guessed it, I'm pregnant. 9 months to be exact. I will be giving birth in the girl's bathroom during prom. – Bella Swan_**

**_So I don't need to bring my shot gun? – Jasper Whitlock_**

**_No, by all means bring it. Nothing says wedding like a redneck with guns. Can you bring some cases of Vitamin R and four wheelers too? – Bella Swan_**

**_Hey, I'm proud to be a redneck. Edward you need to get your woman in line or I'm going to have to take away my blessing-Jasper Whitlock_**

**_No can do Billy Joe Bob, I'm trying to get her to marry me not chase her away. BTW do you know where I can find a midget that would be willing to dress up as a leprechaun? – Edward Cullen_**

**_WTF kind of kinky shit are you guys into? – Emmett Hale Swan_**

**_Don't forget my unicorn butt plug!-Bella Swan_**

**_Isabella Marie Swan!- Chief Charlie_**

**_Sorry- EARMUFFS DAD. EARMUFFS- Bella Swan_**

**_If you get one before I do I'm gonna be pissed... Emmett- Rosalie Hale Swan_**

**_*shakes head* There are just some things a dad should never know about his children- Chief Charlie_**

**_Don't worry Rosie- it's already taken care of and plenty more *wink *wink- Emmett Hale Swan_**

**_Pervs- Jasper Whitlock_**

**_What the hell is wrong with you guys! They are getting married and I have a wedding to plan! *overly excited panda* - Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

**_Oh and Bella- I told you so- Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

I can just picture her bouncing up and down in her office chair practically vibrating.

**_Slow your role Pixie Trigger. I want small and simple. – Bella Swan_**

**_Time to break out the dossier'!- Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

**_NOOOOO!- Bella Swan_**

**_Run Bella! Run!- Rosalie Hale Swan_**

**_Shut your yap Rosalie Lillian Swan! Your wedding was amazing, thanks to my dossier'- Alice Brandon Whitlock_**

Her and that damn dossier. I groaned. I picked up my phone.

**_You might have to add something else to the incentive package if I have to deal with the wedding planner nazi and her dossier' of doom- MB _**

**_Oh I gotta a package for ya ;)- E_**

**_Always so sexual…- MB_**

**_How is a package full of packing peanuts sexual? Do you have some weird sexual fantasies I am unaware of?- E_**

**_Maybe…- MB_**

**_Hmmm, well I will have the rest of our lives to figure them out-E_**

I put my phone down and smile. The rest of our lives…

***A/N**

**No hiding under a rock this time! She said YES! Alice and her Dossier...I would be scared if I was B. I see a lot of fights and a lot of drinking on B's part. Can you imagine, a pregnant wedding Nazi? God help them all. **

**Only the epilogue is left...**

**XOZO**

**HB**


	24. Epilogue

**First and foremost I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, for nominating and voting for TDHIRL for a fanfic award. I am completely blown away and am so thankful for the love. I am usual full of words but I don't know if I will ever be able to truly express how much that means to me.**

**So this is it kids, THE END. I am sad to see it go but am soooo incredibly grateful for all this story has brought me. It has given me friendships that I will forever cherish, confidence in my abilities to actually put something good out into the world that people will read, and helped in my own personal quest to heal. **

**Shout outs: Wonder Twin, this story means so much more because it brought me you. You helped make this story better, organizing my thoughts to make sense when I couldn't. You are my Wonder Twin, my sister from another mister, and someone I can honestly say I cannot live without. FLOVE YOU LADY. ReFanSM, you have such a beautiful soul and I always enjoy reading your reviews. You are amazing & talented and I am so glad we are friends. My FF Lady Loves, you know who you are, I am sooo happy that you are now in my life. Thank you for all the love, support, and encouragement. You are all AMAZING ladies. DazzledbyRobSpaRKLyHands, thank you for all the love and support! We will always have Forks! ****jmeec316, thank you for being B&E's officially/ unofficial cheerleader. I smile every time I see your reviews. BFF Kimmie, there are really no words for how much I FLOVE YOU. Thank you. Lastly, to all of you, my readers. Thank you for continuing on this long journey with me. You have given me love, encouragement, courage, and confidence. For taking the time to not only read but review. To have anyone read the crazy shit my brain spits out, let alone actually like it, makes me so incredibly grateful everyday. THANK YOU.**

**I went back and forth for a long while trying to decide how to end this. I was gonna kill people off. I was gonna pull a JR and make it all a dream. I was gonna have a chose your own adventure. After a talk with ReFanSM, inspiration was struck while in the shower. I figured it out. Enjoy.**

**p.s. I don't own Twilight**

Ch 24

BPOV

_5 years later…_

"_I can't do this anymore… I just can't."_

"_Are you fucking serious? You're kicking me out? _

"_Please don't make this harder than it is."_

"_I… can't…please don't…please. I'm sorry. I'll change. Please don't make me leave."_

"_I love you. I love Ella Ro…you can't take her away from me! _

I woke up with a start. Fucking nightmares. As my eyes finally came into focus I realized I had passed out on the living room floor…again. I peeled myself off the floor and stretched out my stiff muscles.

After realizing the smell of tequila wasn't from a spill, I trudged my way to the bathroom, downed two aspirin and tried to scrub everything away in the shower.

"_You're turning into an alcoholic!"_

Scrub.

"_Stop projecting your mommy issues onto me. It's getting a little old. Just because I enjoy a drink or two after work, doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic. I'm not your mother and you're not my goddamn mother, so stop fucking acting like it_!"

Scrub.

I shut off the water. Clearly scrubbing the pain away is not going to work. I step out and wipe the steam collecting on the mirror so I can stare at myself. Wow, I am way past Medusa scary. Pale (check), gaunt (check), purplish eye circles that looked like I got in a fight (check); I should change my name to Powder.

_So driving him to drink wasn't enough, you had to throw yourself in there too? Pot calling kettle dontcha think? _

'Oh joy, you're back' I said to the voice in my head.

_Please B, I never left. You have to have someone that reminds you of what you are._

And what is that?

_Hypocrite comes to mind. _

I'm not an alcoholic.

_Yet. I'm not at all surprised. It's in your blood. Deep down you know as well as I do that you are just like her. Yes, I'm talking about your mother. You should really start putting money away for Stella, you know to pay for her therapy. I'm thinking years, she's gonna need years of it._

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed and punched the mirror.

Shards split off falling into the sink and onto the floor. Instantly I felt something warm and sticky coating my knuckles and looked down at my blood-covered hand. I just stood there, naked, hair dripping with water just staring at my hand and the broken glass that lay around me. It could have been minutes, could have been hours…I really couldn't tell you. Eventually I grabbed the garbage can and started picking up the pieces, not caring if the shards were cutting me more. I welcomed the pain. Pain gave me something to focus on other than the emotions which had been coursing through me these past couple of months. I picked up the last piece, a long and jagged one and turned it over in my bloody hand a few times.

_Couple slices and you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. All that pain will just go away… come on you know you wanna…._

I did want the pain to go away, especially the pain in my heart. I wanted to not feel like a failure. I want the longing, the fear, and the anger…to just go away. It would be simple. Then my daughter's face flashed in front of my eyes. Her dark brown ringlets and green eyes. Her dimples when she smiled. A tear fell from my eyes and landed on the shard of glass.

Stella Rose, my little angel. The one person who can make my feel loved no matter how bad I am feeling. She is my reason for being which is hysterical since I never wanted children. Being a mother scared the shit out of me. But carrying her for nine months, holding her right after she was born, playing dress up or painting with her, I couldn't imagine my life without her. The thought of not being there on her first day of school, or her first dance, or her wedding…now that pain **was** too much to bear. I placed the last glass shard in the garbage.

I may not be perfect but I love my daughter more than life itself. Just thinking about causing my little girl any kinda of pain emotionally or physically makes me fucking ill. There is no way in hell I would ever do that to her. Ever. And that right there proves that I am not my mother. If I were, I wouldn't have cared.

I wrapped a towel around myself and grabbed another for my hand. I needed to sweep up the pieces I couldn't see.

"Isabella Marie Cullen. Where are you?!" I heard someone scream.

Shit. Before I could move, Alice came bounding up the stairs.

"Alice? What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Paris?" I asking, trying to hide my hand.

"Better question, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I leave for two months and shit falls apart. Why didn't you tell me Edward moved out? Why did he move out? I talk to you at least three times a week Bella. Nothing! I'm supposed to be your best friend! I would have never known if Rose hadn't mention something about going to Forks more now that Edward lives back at home. Silly her thinking that I knew. Do you know how hurt I am?"

"I'm sorry A, I just…"

"Don't give me that, 'I didn't want to worry you' bullshit Bella." Alice said jabbing a finger into my chest.

"Best friends don't cut out major life changes from each other. They support and care for each other. I thought we went over this when your mom died. Didn't you learn anything?"

She paused and I watched her eyes narrow. Suddenly something was being waved in front of my face and Alice's voice went up another octave.

"And another thing, would you like to explain this?" She screeched.

"I…"

I heard her take a calming breath before lowering her voice.

"Is that why Edward left? Are you drinking too much? For God sakes Bella! You worked so hard on not becoming Renee. Why? What about Stella? Do you want her to hate you?" I flinched when she said that. I can't believe she just said that.

"Fuck you Alice. Fuck. You." I said practically spitting in her face.

"How dare you accuse me of being _her_! I am nothing like her! I'm sorry for not telling you. You're right, I didn't want you to worry. You were in Paris, for god sakes, planning the wedding of your career. So excuse me for not wanting to worry you. I knew you would be on the next flight home to come and help poor Bella who can't manage to keep her shit together! Do you know how bad I would feel if that ruined your career in any way? I would hate myself and I have enough shit on my plate without adding that to the list." I yelled. I reached out and grabbed the tequila bottle from her hand.

"Yes, I drank an entire bottle of tequila over the course of two days because I just couldn't take it anymore. My fucking world has fallen apart Alice. My _marriage_, my _sanity_…fucking shot to hell. I just couldn't take the pain clawing at my chest or the sadness and failure I was drowning in. I wanted it all too just fucking_ stop_. I wanted to sleep. Even if it was only for one day. But if you want to call someone an alcoholic then you need to talk to fucking Edward. _He_ is the one who drinks at least three fifths a week. _He_ is the one who punched a hole in our bedroom wall, barley missing my face because he was drunk and pissed off. Not me!" She just stood there eyes wide as continued to rage in front of her.

"Do you know what it's like only getting to see your child three and half days a week? To either only see the man you love through a car window or briefly at the door when you drop off your daughter? To see the sadness, anger and hate is his eyes? Having the only form of communication be fights and having everything that is wrong with you thrown in your face? Only to turn around and have him _beg_ and _plead_ to come home but knowing you can't do that because nothing has changed? To know that part of the reason your husband drinks is because you can't manage to keep your mental health in check, leaving him to pick up the slack on top of trying to run a business. Do _you_, cause I have and it is fucking torture. So sue me for fucking drowning my sorrows in a single bottle of tequila but don't you EVER excuse me of being Renee. I love my daughter more than life itself and would _never_, _ever_ do the things that that bitch did to me!" I slid to the floor and started to bawl.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Alice cried as she wrapped her arms around me, holding and comforting me while I cried.

When the tears finally stopped I pulled away from Alice's embrace.

"I'm sorry Alice. I really am. I'm trying so hard not to go back to that dark place again, I really am."

"No, B I'm sorry. I should never have said those things. I just didn't know what was going on and when I got here I saw the empty tequila bottle on the floor and…" She stopped and grabbed my towel wrapped hand. The once white towel was now spotted for red where the blood had started to seep through

"What happened?" Alice said slowly and calmly.

"My fist may or may not have punch my bathroom mirror. It's cool. I needed a new one anyway." I shrugged pausing to note that Alice must have been seriously pissed off at me if she didn't notice the mirror when she first walked in.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" She said shaking her head. She pulled me onto my feet and started to drag me into the bathroom.

"Be careful, there is still tiny pieces of glass on the floor. I was on my way to get a broom.

"B." She sighed. She stopped in front of the doorway and slowly started to take the towel off of my hand. She gasped as my hand became visible.

"Holy shit B! How have you not passed out? Even I'm getting a lil squeamish."

I laughed. "I have no clue."

" Go get dressed. We need to get you to a doctor." She said making her way into the bathroom.

"Alice, I'll be fine. I don't need a doctor. I need to get dressed and pick up the house before Edward gets here to drop of Stell." Getting dressed with only one hand was tricky so opted to go with one of my long jersey knit dresses and a sweater.

"Don't worry about Stella Rose. I just texted Edward and said you heading there." She called from the bathroom.

"Alice." I started to object.

"No arguments. You need stitches and it just so happens that your father-in-law is an excellent doctor." She came out of the bathroom and frowned a bit once she took in my attire.

"Don't give me that look. I can't really pull on pants or button anything."

"And whose fault is that?"

"The evil bitch inside my head who wouldn't shut the fuck up."

She just looked at me with sad eyes and grabbed my hand, bandaging it up the best she could until we got to Carlisle.

"I really don't think this is a good idea." I said as I got in the car.

"Of course it is. I'm Alice, I'm always right. We need to get my adorable little niece and you need to get your hand stitched up. It's called killing two birds with one stone. Plus this gives us more time to talk. " She said smiling.

I slumped down in my seat as she took off down the street.

"But first." She said handing me her phone. "You need to call Dr. Denali and make an appointment."

I huffed, taking the phone from her hands. I knew she was right. I needed to go back on meds and I needed to start working some shit out…again.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything B."

"I don't expect you not to tell Jaz but can you not tell anyone else what I told you. Please."

"Don't they already know?" Alice said confused.

"They know we separated but they don't know why. I don't want people taking sides because really we're both to blame. Plus, I don't want my father or brother to go to jail and my daughter needs her father."

She stared at me for a long moment then simply said, "Ok."

&*^&^*%&^%

"Mommmmmy! Aunty Alice!" Stella said as she ran out the front door jumping into my arms.

"Hey there lil Peanut." Alice said kissing her on the cheek.

"Well hello my little Ella Ro. How is my beautiful little spawn? Did you have fun with daddy?" I said squeezing her tight, not caring that my hand was throbbing. No matter how bad I feel, having her in my arms always makes it better.

"You know it. We played princess ninjas and pirates and sang karaokadee and played with my monster high dolls." She said bouncing up and down.

"Wow that sounds like you had a blast." I said kissing the top of her head as we walked through the door. Alice smiled at me and headed towards the kitchen.

"Oh no mommy, what happened to your hand? Where you fighting ninjas too? They're sneaky lil bastards."

"Stella Rose! Language. That is an adult word that goes in your adult word bank" I said trying not to laugh. One of the hardest thing about being a parent is trying to discipline your child when they do something that is "wrong" but you find so funny. That and not swearing so much, which for me is soooo hard to do. Hence the adult word bank.

"Damn, I mean darn. Thought I could say that one." She said shaking her head.

God this kid makes it hard. "Nope, in the bank. You can withdraw it when you've come of age." I put her down on her feet.

She turned and saluted. "Yes ma'am." I just shook my head and chuckled silently.

"GRANDPAAAA! MOMMY HURT HER HAND FIGHTING NINJAS!" She yelled through the house.

"We need a doctor." She said attempting a southern accent. I love that kid.

Carlisle and Esme turned the corner.

"Stella Rose, what did I tell you about inside voices?"

"Sorry Grandma. Mommy hurt her hand and she needs Grandpa to fix her up. Dr. Feelgood style." Stella said a matter-of-factly.

"Oh lord. No more Motely Crue for you." Carlisle said shaking his head laughing.

"Bella dear, it's good to see you." Esme said pulling me into a hug.

"We love you and you will always be our daughter. Don't forget that." She whispered in my ear. I swallowed back some tears that where trying to escape.

"Thanks mom." I said kissing her cheek.

"Why don't you come with Grandma while Grandpa looks at mommy's hand. I think the cookies are done."

"Sweet!" Stella said, making a fist pump and running to the kitchen, Esme in tow.

"Why don't we go into my study." Carlisle said placing his hand on the small of me back leading me through the house.

"So ninjas?" He said smiling as he started unwrapping the gauze around my hand.

"Yeah, evil mirror ninja. Sneaky lil bastards." I said with a small smile.

Once he unwrapped my hands he gasped a little bit.

"Mirror ninjas huh." He said cocking his eyebrow.

"Yep. I got in one good punch though."

"I can tell." He pulled out some tweezers and began pulling out the tiny shards of glass that where still stuck in my hand. I sat there, quietly, staring at the painting of Italy on the wall. I only winched when he poured alcohol on my hand.

"I don't know all the details and I don't want too. Frankly, it's no one's business.. I will say he is a complete wreck. He barely eats or sleeps and the only time you see him smile is when he's with Stella." I flinched. Not only at his words but also because he started to stich my hand up.

"She has the effect." I said quietly.

"That she does."

"You're not fairing very well either."

"I'm sorry. I really and truly am. I wish things were different but…"

"You know, Esme and I separated once."

"You did? Edward never mentioned that before." I said taken back a bit, flipping through my memory to try and recall anything.

"I honestly don't think he remembers. He wasn't even two years old. It was during my residency. I was working all the time. If I wasn't working I was either sleeping or drinking to take the edge off all the stress I was under. I barely saw my family and when I did Esme and I would just fight. Then one day I came home to a note that said she took Edward and went to stay with her parents. I was furious of course and didn't understand why or what went wrong. Eventually, after many of difficult conversations, we worked it out. It may have been the hardest time in both our lives but we came out the other side stronger than ever."

"Does Edward know this?"

"He does now. I know my son and I know my daughter. You are both very stubborn and hard headed. But I'll tell you what I told him, the road to redemption starts with a single step and that step is sitting down and calmly talking things through."

"We've tried but every time we just end up yelling and getting no where."

"Well then try again. Try again and again until you can."

Before I could reply the door swung open. Standing there was a frantic Edward.

"Alice said you were hurt. What happened?" Edward said making his way across the room and grabbing my now re-bandaged hand.

Carlisle gave me a knowing look, turned and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder before quietly leaving us alone.

"Mirror ninjas." I replied while staring at the floor.

"Bella."

"Please don't worry, I'm fine." I lifted my eyes to look at him and realized he was standing in front of me.

"You're not fine." He whispered as I stared back into red rimmed eyes.

"Neither are you." I replied running my good hand along the stubble on the side of his face. He hasn't shaven in at least 4 days. His dark circles rival mine and he's lost some weight.

"I kinda like this. " I whispered as I continued to rub the stubble on his face. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand. We stood like that for awhile taking a small bit of comfort in the contact, neither of us making any move to speak.

"Where did this go wrong MB?" He whispered. I can't remember the last time he called me that. I opened my eyes and looked into his. Those beautiful green eyes that I could get lost in were staring back at me filled with tears. There is no anger or resentment, just longing and sadness, making my heart break.

"What happened to our happily ever after?" He choked out.

I took a deep breath. "Happily ever after is for fairy tales, this is real life and real life is beautiful and ugly, happy and happy, messy…" Perhaps we were taking that proverbial step towards redemption.

"I don't know, somewhere along the way we forgot how to happy, how to laugh… how to love each other and I am sooo sorry for the part I played in that. We can try to get back there… or we can let it go. No matter what we decide, I will ALWAYS love you. You made me realize what it truly felt like to be loved and cherished. You gave me hope and friendship, and above all else you gave me the best gift in the world. Our daughter." He reached up and stroked my cheek.

"I'm sorry too for everything. I love you sooo goddamm much Bella Cullen. I wanna try. For us, for Stella Rose. I miss you. I miss this."

Tears where now streaming down my face. This is the first step. As long as we keep taking it one step at a time, I think we'll be ok.

"Me too." I said smiling before place a small kiss on his lips. "Me too."

****A/N**

**The End. So whatcha think? I'm not gonna hide under a rock this time, so give me what you got. Real life is messy. There are ups and there are downs. You laugh and you cry. For me and for the story this is the perfect ending. So, make with it what will. They both want to try again, to fix what is bent and broken. Sometimes that works and you become even stronger, sometimes try as you might, it doesn't. **

**I would like to write a few outtakes, mostly because I'm not ready to let go quite yet. So, tell what you would like to see. Do you want a different perspective on a certain situation? Maybe something that was mentioned but not written out? More Emmett (I love writing Emmett)?**

**Again, and I honestly can't say it enough- THANK YOU!**

**HB**


	25. Outtake

**Well hello there! Fancy seeing you here. It's been awhile since we last met. How have ya'll been? Good I hope. What did I do? Well lets see, I've been around the world and I, I, well got playa hated. I don't know and I don't know why. Maybe because I'm so fancy being in the fast lane from L.A. to Tokyo? I do know that I got 99 problems and most of them leave me all by myself to figure out. **

****SHAZAM! I also made my yearly trek to the Twilight holy land. You know what they say about Forks; 'What happens in Forks, gets put into a fan fiction!' **

**This outtake is brought to you by the letters in the alphabet put together to makes words. A HUGE thanks to all of my loves. Thank you for one of the best weekends I've had in awhile. Of course to WT for doing your thang and for just being you. Also to Kmah and her mighty red pen!**

**I think we all know by now that I do not own Twilight. Remember, the tide is high. Enjoy.**

Outtake

Bella Spills the Magic Penis Beans

"Ummm, yeah, so uh, I gots a pizza delivery for a Rosalie 'I put out like a porno' Hale." I hear Bella say in her best New York accent, strutting through our door holding three boxes of Gordy's pizza.

"I only put out if you're not wearing underwear and you have a thick, juicy cock ready to spring forth and take me straight to pound town," Rose quips as she walks around the corner holding two bottles of tequila and a bag of lemons.

"Dammit, I forgot thick and juicy at home," Bella retorts. I can hear them both laughing as I come out of the bathroom.

Bella grabs the stuff out of Rose's hands and puts it on the coffee table. "Tequila, check. Bag o' lemons, check. Salt…" Rose interrupts by yelling, "Check! Shot glasses, check!" as she pulls the salt shaker and three shot glasses from her bra.

"Drinking a lil' Jose isn't the same unless your shot glasses have been in the breast warmer first." I giggle as I lean down and do a little motorboating before sitting down on the floor next to Bella.

"Sweet Jesus, motorboating before pizza is a sure sign of a fun night." Bella laughs, shaking her head.

"Oh, Bella Boo, any time is a good time for motorboating and of course it's gonna be a fun night. Our combined collective awesomeness makes it a for sure thing at any and all times."

"True dat," Rose says as she pours each of us a shot.

We raise our glasses. "To combined collective awesomeness!"

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"You got my favorite, right?" I ask, already knowing the answer but a double-check check never hurt nobody.

"Really, Tink, how can you ever doubt my pizza ordering skills? That is one of the first thing a Swan spawn learns to do." Bella looked at me with a faked look of hurt on her face.

"One Bella Luna pizza for Rose, one Great Greek pizza for me, and one Hobgoblin pizza for my little hobgoblin." Rose snickers. I huff.

"How many times do I have to remind you that I am not a small, hairy man-creature that does chores for humans while they sleep? For one, I am NOT hairy! In fact, I just finished bedazzling my vagina before you got here. Which means, minus the beautifully coiffed hair on the top of my head, I am hair-free. Most importantly, I am definitely NOT a man. I have zero desire to have a one-eyed dingle dangle hanging between my legs. Did you know that they get angry if you give them clothes instead of food? I mean, come on! Have you _EVER_ known me to pass up new clothes? I think not. For the last time, I am a fairy queen, not a hobgoblin. Get it right before I take your favorite chucks off your feet and burn them," I end my rant by taking a huge bite out of my delicious pizza. I look over and they are both leaning against each other, laughing so hard no sound is coming out. I just sit glaring at them while I eat.

They finally stop laughing enough to speak. "Wait! You bedazzled your vagina?" Rose hollers as they burst into laughter once more.

"Shut your pie hole, Hale. It is no different than shaving your pubes into different shapes!" I say with a mouth full of pizza.

"I beg to differ, oh Queen of the bedazzled vagina fairies. I merely manipulate my natural God-given landscaping. You rip yours out with a few quick yanks of wax and glue shiny clear and pink AstroTurf rhinestones in its place."

"Oh my God… Can't breathe… I feel like I am on an episode of 'Pimp My Vag'," Bella says between breaths. Rose pours us each another shot.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"Seriously though, why the fuck would you glue rhinestones to your lady bits region? I know Jasper likes shiny things but pussy is pussy. Pretty sure he doesn't care. And _really,_ Rose? Shapes? Is it like a test for my brother? If he guesses the shape right, do you give him a treat? Never mind, don't answer that. Hair or bare, pick one. Anything more is just too much work," Bella says shaking her head and pouring herself another shot.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

I mentally tap my fingers together deviously. My plan is working. Talk about things that embarrass Bella so she will drink more and we can get the goods on Edward. I know she thinks we forgot and she is in the clear. She is obviously underestimating our patience. Two more shots and she will start to get loose lips.

"Are you sure you're not a hobgoblin? You have an evil glint in your eye and those little fuckers can be mischievous. Not to mention frightening, dangerous, and hard to get rid of. You just threatened to burn my Chucks and you can be pretty scary…" Bella says as she protects her beloved ratty Chuck Taylors.

"And I've been trying to get rid of you for years," Rose interjects with a smile. I stick my tongue out at her and pour us each another shot.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"Bells, I can't believe that your dad is getting married in two days. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda jealous of Sue. She gets to hit that sweet Hot Daddy Swan cock for the rest of her life," I say, licking my lips and wagging my eyebrows.

"Oh, GOD! STOP. You did not just say that. That is my dad!"

"If Emmett's cock of deliciousness is anything like his fathers, then Sue probably rides him like bull every chance she gets!" I immediate get on all fours and Rose puts one hand in the air and pretends to ride me like a bull. It doesn't last long because one look at Bella's horrified face has us rolling on the ground laughing.

She throws pillows at us and then takes another shot. Rose gives me a sly smile. My plan is working perfectly.

"Why? Why must you two torture me! No girl EVER wants to hear about her father's or her brother's cocks. Let alone what they do with it. I'm gonna have to bleach out my brain when I get home. I vote for a subject change." She shakes her head as if trying to dispel the images. Silly girl.

"Fine. We can discus meat flaps," Rose says before jamming half a slice of pizza in her mouth.

"Meat what?!" I have heard a lot of things but I do not recall ever hearing about a meat flap. Does it have something to do with butchering meat? Why on earth would Rose know about butchering?

"Seriously, Alice, you don't know what a flap is?" Bella says as she pushes another shot my way.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"No, why would I know anything about meat flaps? I am a wedding planner, not a butcher." I roll my eyes.

"Ha!" Bella shouts as she pours us all another shot.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

Bella sits up straight. "My dear sweet Alice, a meat flap is when a woman, let's say Lauren for example, has an extra-long clit that might be mistaken for a small penis."

"WHAT!?"

"Or, and I will also use Lauren as an example as I assume she is well versed in this subject, when a girl has taken it in the ass so many times, it leaves her with a small piece of skin that sags down out of her worn out orifice. Like an extend-a-taint."

"Go, go, Gadget Extend-a-taint!" Bella yells, collapsing into more laughter.

"Oh. My. God. That is both hilarious and utterly disturbing at the same time."

"I am so yelling that at that skank next time I see her!" Rose and Bella high five.

"As much I would love to continue this riveting conversation about Lauren and her meats flaps, I just remembered I have the best story!" I start clapping and bouncing up and down. I have been dying to pull this out since Bella got here.

"She's bouncing. This must be good." Rose and Bella take two more shots.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"Okay, so as you know my smexy little Jazzy Pants has an uncircumcised penis." Bella pours another shot for her and one for Rose.

Clink, shot, lick, and suck.

"So yesterday I walk in on him getting out of the shower and he is doing what he refers to as his 'Dingle Dangle Dance', which is really just shaking his giant one-eyed worm back and forth, and, I shit you not, water was coming out like a sprinkler! Like an uncircumcised penis sprinkler!"

We all get to our feet, stick an arm out down by our crotch and start doing the sprinkler. By the third, click, click, spray, we are laughing so hard tears are running down our cheeks.

"I am SOOOO using that against him! Oh, this is so good! Alice, I could kiss you!" Bella grabs my face and plants on right on my lips. I let out a little giggle. Poor Jazzy, he is gonna kill me for telling her that but I had to. I am luring her in for the kill right now. I'm sorry that his dingle dangle dance is collateral.

"You know who has a great penis? Edward." Bella nods her head as she takes another shot and then jams the last slice of her pizza in her mouth. I give Rose a mental high five. Yes! Hook, line and sinker!

"Really? Do tell," Rose says as she leans in. Three months is a long time to wait but we are patient nosey bitches.

"It's fucking magically delicious, is what it is. Like a big bowl of 80/20 Lucky Charms." Her eyes close and she sighs.

"Did you just equate Edward's cock to a bowl of Lucky Charms?"

"Abso-fucking-lutley I did, Tinker-Goblin. But not just any bowl, the perfect bowl with 80% marshmallows and 20% Cheerios slutty sugary-coated cousin."

Rose and I bust out in hysterics. "Only you, B, would compare Edward Cullen's penis to a bowl of cereal. You are so related to Emmett."

"It's big too. Long and thick. But not too big where your organs start screaming because they just know they are gonna feel that shit. It's just right. Oh, and beautiful! Just when you think he couldn't get any more hot, BAM!" She claps her hands together. This is too funny. I don't think we have ever heard Bella talk like this about a guy's dick. Ever. And we have heard plenty of stories.

"Out pops _magic_!" Oh lord, now she's doing spirit fingers.

"That's not even the best part. The best part was when he took his quivering member and slid it into a wet, hot, awaiting Virgina and took me straight to pound town. Seriously ya'll, I was screaming his name. Who does that? I've never done that." She is so animated right now. Hands are flying and she practically humping the pillow she is sitting on.

"Oh!" She pushes a laughing Rose over. "He growls. Fucking growls! Sexiest shit ever. Ever, I tell ya!" She falls backwards on the floor looking like she is about to make a snow angel. Her eyes close and she has this huge smile on her face.

"I have to say, B, I've never heard you talk like this about sex." I say as I lay on the floor next to her.

"Well, she'd have to know their name first in order to scream it." Rose laughs. Both of us have spent plenty of mornings picking Bella up after a night of nameless one-night stands. I will never understand how she doesn't even know their name.

Bella reaches up and pulls Rose down to the floor on the other side of her. She places a hand on each of our boobs gives them a squeeze and says, "Best sex ever. BOOM." She lets go of each boob like she just dropped a mic.

"Ha! God, I love you, Bella. Seriously, you're fucking hilarious." Rose reaches over and gives Bella's boob a squeeze.

"Love you too, Rosie. And you too, Alli."

"Awwww, I love you guys too. On that note, it's almost 2 a.m. and we have a big day ahead of us. We need to get you home." As soon as I say this, Jasper and a drunk Emmett come stumbling in the door.

"Rosie Baby, Big Papa is home. Time to get naked!" Emmett bellows as he drunkenly scoops up Rose throws her over his shoulder and heads towards her bedroom.

Jasper looks down at a half-passed out Bella on the floor. "Looks like the calvary arrived just in time."

"Oh, look it's Captain Whitlock and his uncircumcised sprinklererer." Bella giggles as she sits up. Jasper's head whips over to me. Dammit, Bella. I was banking on you forgetting that. He does not look happy. I flash him my best puppy dog eyes and shrug.

"Alrighty B, time to get you home." I grab her arms and yank her to her feet.

She looks over to Jasper and starts doing the penis sprinkler and laughing.

Jasper picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. Before he walks at the door he turns and says, "You are so gonna pay for that, Darlin'. I will deal with you when I get home."

**** A/N**

**Is that convo all that you expected it to be? Who else wants to see Jasper do his Dingle Dangle dance? If you laughed at all reading this, than you get a hint of what my weekend in Forks was like. I love all my loves! Thank you for inspiring me to finally write an outtake. **

**While going back and rereading TDHIRL, I realized that it is kind of a hot mess grammar wise. So first, THANK YOU to all my readers for looking past it and still enjoying the story. Second, I have enlisted kmah and her mighty red pen to make it less, 'guurrrlll you flunk grammar in school didn't you.' The answer is, yes, yes I did. To be fair, I was sleeping. Thank you again. I appreciate each and every one of you more than you will ever know. I'd love to hear what you think. **

**XOZO**

**HB**


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